Christian Family Guide to Married Love

by Clark, M.A., C. Psych., Sybil A.; Clark, Stephen R.; Bell Jr., James Stuart

• ISBN13: 9781592570782
• ISBN10: 159257078X
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2003-08-05
• Publisher: DK Publishing, Inc.

Summary

Sex and romance are an important -- even sacred -- part of any marriage. But when you have family crises, career issues, and a couple of kids competing for your attention, finding the time for romance can be difficult. Get inspiring ideas for strengthening your love connection -- and enjoy a lasting, loving relationship that's built on respect, trust, and faithfulness. Book jacket.

Author Biography

James S. Bell Jr., owner of Whitestone Communications, has served as executive editor of Moody Press and director of religious publishing at Doubleday Sybil A. Clark has 15 years of experience as a psychologist specializing in reconciliation of relationships. She holds a B.A. from the University of Alberta in Psychology and Religious Studies and an M.A. from Fuller Theological Seminary in Theology and Marriage and Family Therapy Stephen R. Clark is a full-time writer and editor specializing in Christian books. He has ghostwritten several Christian books, He is a contributor to a book of devotionals for men

Table of Contents

In the Beginning	p. 1
Coming Together as One	p. 3
In the Beginning	p. 3
Adam and His Bride	p. 5
The Aftermath	p. 6
The Blessings of Marriage (and They Do Exist)	p. 7
A True Mate	p. 8
The Goal of Marriage	p. 8
Two Can Feel Like a Crowd!	p. 10
The Purpose of Marriage, With or Without a Brood	p. 10
An Encounter with Ecstasy	p. 11
A Godly Marriage	p. 12
Debunking the Myths	p. 13
Heather's Story	p. 13
Old Wives' Tales	p. 14
Old Husbands' Tales	p. 17
Tales Told In School	p. 18
Never Assume	p. 19
First Time Married	p. 21
Shyness Can Be a Virtue	p. 21
You Can Wait Until Tomorrow	p. 22
It's Okay to Fumble	p. 23
What Works for Me	p. 24
When "Been There, Done That" Is a Bad Thing	p. 24
Leave the Past Behind	p. 25
What Should Be Disclosed?	p. 25
Gentleness Is Important in Both Words and Actions	p. 26
Be Patient, Be Kind, Be Real, Be Loose	p. 27
Another Time Married	p. 29
The Past Does Not Predict the Future	p. 29
Your New Relationship	p. 30
Focusing on the Newness	p. 32
Keeping Ghosts Out of the Bedroom	p. 32
Taking Hold of New Things: The New Person Is a Different Person	p. 34
What You Wanted and More!	p. 35
Some Preliminary Considerations	p. 37
Health and Sex: Nausea and Sex Make a Volatile Combination	p. 37
Physical Considerations	p. 37
Emotional Considerations	p. 38
Spiritual Considerations	p. 39
Age and Sex: It's Not the Wrinkles That Slow Things Down	p. 40
Gender and Sex: Differences Can Be Confusing	p. 41
Putting It All Together	p. 43
The Fun Part	p. 47
How Her Body Works	p. 49
What Girls Learned in Grade School	p. 49
The Parts and What They Do	p. 50
The Clitoris	p. 51
The Labia Minora	p. 52
The Vagina	p. 52
The Perineum	p. 52
The Breasts	p. 52
The Lips and Mouth	p. 52
The Skin	p. 52
Taking Care of the Parts	p. 53
Soap and Water	p. 53
Smells	p. 53
Another Argument for Hygiene: Infections	p. 54
Yeast Infections	p. 54
Urethra/Bladder Infections	p. 56
To Pee or Not to Pee, That Is the Question	p. 56
The Hirsute Woman: Hair, Hair, Everywhere	p. 57
Understanding Your Sexual Response Cycle	p. 57
Excitement	p. 58
Plateau	p. 58
Orgasm	p. 59
Resolution	p. 59
Enjoying the Parts	p. 60
Orgasm	p. 60
Training the Clitoris	p. 60
The Sleeping Orgasm	p. 61
Unconscious Barriers to Orgasm	p. 62
How His Body Works	p. 63
The Parts and What They Do	p. 63
Taking Care of the Parts	p. 65
Understanding the Parts	p. 66
Understanding Your Sexual Response Cycle	p. 67
Excitement	p. 67
Plateau	p. 68
Orgasm	p. 68
Resolution	p. 69
Enjoying the Parts	p. 69
Preparation: Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul	p. 73
Getting Ready for Intimacy	p. 73
Mind	p. 74
Body	p. 75
Heart	p. 75
Soul	p. 76
Making Time for Intimacy	p. 78
Getting Psyched for Intimacy	p. 79
Getting Thrilled with Intimacy	p. 80
Doing It	p. 83
Romancing	p. 83
Foreplay	p. 85
Oral Sex	p. 86
Mutual Masturbation	p. 90
Mutual Body Massage	p. 95
Licking and Sucking	p. 96
Kissing	p. 96
Firm, Direct Touching	p. 97
Putting on the Condom	p. 97
Lubricating	p. 98
The Anus	p. 99
Anal Sex	p. 100
The Male G-Spot	p. 100
The Female G-Spot	p. 101
Kegel Exercises	p. 101
Doing It: Part 2	p. 103
Coming Together	p. 103
Positions	p. 105
Man on Top	p. 105
Woman on Top	p. 106
Wife on Top Facing Backward	p. 107
Man Entering from Behind	p. 107
On the Side	p. 108
Sitting or Kneeling	p. 108
Standing	p. 109
Positions for Oral Sex	p. 110
A Few Cautions	p. 110
Masturbation	p. 111
Improving It	p. 115
Timing	p. 115
Talking	p. 117
Teasing	p. 118
Having Fun	p. 119
Dieting for Sex	p. 120
Exercising for Sex	p. 122
Taking Time to Take Care	p. 123
When It Ends with a Bang	p. 123
Keeping the Glow Going	p. 124
When It Ends with a Fizzle	p. 125
Fatigue and Other Problems	p. 126
Being Sensitive to Your Spouse	p. 127
Building Toward the Next Time	p. 127
All About Kids	p. 131
Keeping the Kids Out of the Bedroom	p. 133
Starting Again After Giving Birth	p. 133
Resuming Sexual Activity	p. 133
Postpartum Depression	p. 135
Care for Your Muscles	p. 135
Finding Time When They're Young	p. 136
Scheduling Alone Time	p. 137
Separate Room, Separate Bed	p. 137
As They Get Older (and More Curious)	p. 139
When It's None of Their Business	p. 140
His Kids, Her Kids	p. 143
It's the Same, but Different	p. 143
Who's in Charge When	p. 146
When the Kids Are Grossed Out by the Newcomer	p. 148
Keeping Them in Their Places, with Love	p. 150
After Kids: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly	p. 153
Sharing the Kids	p. 153
When the Kids Are Grown and Gone	p. 154
When the Kids Come Back	p. 156
When the Kids Won't Leave	p. 157
Facing Up to Problems	p. 159
Emotional Dysfunction	p. 159
Carrying Our Emotional Baggage	p. 160
Dealing with Dysfunction	p. 161
Physical Abuse	p. 162
Addiction Issues	p. 163
Getting Help	p. 164
A Few Important Details	p. 167
Privacy Is Healthy	p. 169
Being Alone Is a Good Thing	p. 169
Protecting Each Other's Privacy	p. 171
Giving Each Other Space	p. 173
Staying Out of Each Other's Stuff	p. 174
Sharing Stuff Is Fun	p. 177
His Stuff, Her Stuff, Our Stuff	p. 177
Being Together	p. 179
Building Traditions	p. 180
Establishing Acceptable Together Behaviors	p. 182
Respect Is Seductive	p. 185
Reverent Submission	p. 185
Beneficent Selflessness	p. 186
Mutual Holiness	p. 187
Complete Commitment	p. 188
Loving Respect	p. 189
Headship	p. 190
Trust Is Hot	p. 193
How to Establish Trust	p. 193
Trust Within Marriage	p. 194
The Dual Responsibility of Trust	p. 195
How to Build Trust	p. 195
How to Break Trust	p. 197
How to Restore Trust	p. 199
How to Thrive In Trust	p. 200
Faithfulness Is Fulfilling	p. 203
Being Truly One	p. 203
Desire	p. 204
Intentions	p. 204
Soul	p. 205
Heart	p. 206
Glances versus Stares	p. 207
When the Mind Wanders	p. 208
How to Love the One and Only One	p. 211
Faith Is Sexy	p. 213
It's Okay to Pray for Good Sex	p. 213
Bringing God into the Bedroom	p. 214
Sex and the Bible	p. 215
Sex and the Church	p. 217
Talking Can Be a Turn-On	p. 219
What to Say	p. 219
When to Say It	p. 220
How to Say It	p. 222
When to Shut Up	p. 223
Housecleaning for Three Houses	p. 225
When the Unexpected Creates a Problem	p. 225
Looking at "Irrelevant" Issues	p. 227
The Three Houses of Marriage	p. 228
Cleaning Up Our Marital House	p. 229
Perseverance	p. 230
Chores Can Be Sexy	p. 232
Demands and Expectations	p. 235
Fighting the Good Fight	p. 235
Clearing the Air	p. 237
Be Kind when Angry	p. 238
Giving Your Spouse a Chance	p. 238
Great and Not-So-Great Expectations	p. 239
Making Up Naked in the Closet	p. 241
Staying Young Together	p. 245
It's All in Your Mind	p. 245
And the Rest Is in Your Body	p. 246
Enjoy It While You Have It	p. 247
Tips for Keeping It	p. 248
Growing Old Together	p. 251
Aging Happens	p. 251
Your Aging Body	p. 251
Sex and Age	p. 253
Illness	p. 254
Old and Healthy, or Old and Sickly?	p. 254
Sex and Illness	p. 255
Companionship	p. 256
Contentment	p. 257
Final Mission	p. 257
Appendixes
A Brief Glossary	p. 261
Resources	p. 267
Guidelines for Opposite Sex Friends in Marriage	p. 271
Warning Signs of Major Depression and Postpartum Depression	p. 275
Index	p. 279
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.