Communicating in Relationships

by Fincham, Frank D.; Fernandes, Leyan O. L.; Humphreys, Keith

• ISBN13: 9780878223428
• ISBN10: 0878223428
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1993-12-01
• Publisher: Research Pr Pub

Table of Contents

Figures and Tables	v
Exercises	vii
Author Note	ix
Preface	xi
Introduction	1	(6)
For Couples	1	(3)
For People Who Work With Couples	4	(3)
Getting Started	7	(10)
Thoughts That Stop Cooperation	8	(2)
Why Should I Try to Work on This Relationship?	10	(1)
An Agreement	11	(6)
Expectations in Traditional and Nontraditional Relationships	17	(16)
Traditional Relationships	18	(3)
Nontraditional Relationships	21	(12)
How Do Couples Communicate?	33	(40)
Beginning to Understand Communication	33	(3)
A Deeper Understanding of Communication	36	(4)
Assessing Your Present Relationship	40	(33)
His and Her Relationship	73	(10)
Gender Differences in Communication Background	73	(4)
Other Important Gender Differences	77	(1)
A Word of Caution	78	(1)
Living With the Differences	78	(5)
Learning to Communicate Effectively: Basic Steps	83	(14)
Forming Realistic Expectations	84	(1)
Setting the Scene	85	(1)
Keeping Things Friendly	86	(5)
Maintaining a Positive Outlook	91	(1)
Avoiding Roadblocks	92	(3)
Noting Your Progress	95	(2)
Learning to Communicate Effectively: Intermediate Steps	97	(16)
Taking Responsibility for Yourself	98	(2)
Attending to and Communicating Emotions	100	(5)
Checking Out Your Assumptions	105	(3)
Listening Actively	108	(3)
Giving Behavior-Effect Feedback	111	(1)
Noting Progress and Rewarding Yourselves	112	(1)
Learning to Communicate Effectively: Advanced Steps	113	(32)
Knowing When to Problem Solve	114	(3)
Defining the Problem	117	(4)
Solving Versus Dealing With Problems	121	(4)
Generating and Evaluating Solutions	125	(2)
Making a Contract	127	(2)
Evaluating Your Progress	129	(16)
Maintaining Your Progress and Communicating With Others	145	(22)
Maintaining Progress	148	(1)
Preventing Backsliding or Relapse	148	(1)
Planning for Maintenance	149	(10)
Communicating With Others	159	(8)
Special Topics: Dual Careers, Spirituality, and Sex	167	(18)
Caring for a Dual-Career Marriage	167	(10)
Enhancing the Spiritual Dimension of Your Relationship	177	(3)
Dealing With Sexual Difficulties	180	(5)
What If It Seems Hopeless? Breakup or Divorce	185	(24)
When the Going Gets Rough	186	(3)
Why Do People End Their Relationships?	189	(1)
What Are the Effects of Breakup or Divorce?	190	(13)
Communication in Divorce	203	(6)
Conclusion	209	(10)
For Couples	209	(1)
For People Who Work With Couples	209	(4)
Annotated Bibliography	213	(6)
APPENDIX 1 A Research-Oriented Perspective for Professionals	219	(22)
Why Pay Attention to Research?	219	(3)
Why Focus on Communication Skills?	222	(10)
What Have We Learned From Basic Research on Communication in Couples?	232	(8)
Conclusion	240	(1)
APPENDIX 2 Technical Information on the Measures Used to Assess Relationships	241	(4)
References	245	(8)
Author Index	253	(4)
Subject Index	257	(10)
About the Authors	267