The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Art of Seduction

by O'Neal, Janet

• ISBN13: 9780028627380
• ISBN10: 0028627385
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1998-12-01
• Publisher: Alpha Books

Summary

You're no idiot, of course. You've heard that oysters are a great aphrodisiac, know that everybody looks better in candlelight, and can wink without making it look like something got caught in your eye. But when it comes to putting these talents together and seducing the one you want, you feel like cupid without a bow and arrow. Don't hang up your wings just yet! The complete Idiot's Guide to the Art of Seduction is here to teach you the tricks of the trade. In this Complete Idiot's Guide, you get:

Table of Contents

Becoming a Modern-Day Seductress or Seducer	p. 1
Redefining Seduction	p. 3
A Thousand Years of Good Intent	p. 4
How Do You Tell the "Good" From the "Bad"?	p. 5
Nonsexual Seduction: The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Ugly	p. 5
Something to Which We Can All Relate: Food	p. 5
Seducers on Two Legs	p. 6
Sexual Seduction: The Sublime and the Squalid	p. 7
Delicious Seduction: A Little Slice of Heaven	p. 8
Malicious Seduction: Devil on a Blue Bike	p. 10
There's No Such Thing As a One-Night Stand: Seduction Has Lasting Effects	p. 11
General Seductiveness: The Elements of Allure	p. 11
Ingredients to Cast a Seductive Spell	p. 12
Goal Setting: The Proactive Approach to Seduction	p. 15
Whose Life Is It, Anyway?	p. 16
Maybe S/he's Born with It...But Probably Not	p. 16
Classic Seductresses: Geishas and Courtesans	p. 17
Bond...James Bond: Seducer Extraordinaire	p. 18
And Now, Back to Reality: What About You?	p. 19
Short-Term Goals: The First Person You Must Seduce Is Yourself	p. 19
Long-Term Goals: Attracting Who You Want	p. 20
You Can Get There From Here: Putting Your Best Self Forward All the Time	p. 22
Physical Attraction: Looking Seductive	p. 25
Is Your Presence a Sensual Delight or a Sensory Assault?	p. 25
Julia: Facing the Truth	p. 27
Harold: Right Hair, Right Now	p. 28
Grooming and Hygiene	p. 28
Fitness and Health	p. 29
It's Better than You Think: Adjusting Your Body Image	p. 30
Even Cindy Crawford Doesn't Look Like Cindy Crawford	p. 30
Chiseled or Voluptuous? Achieving Your Personal Best Physique	p. 32
It's Not How You Look; It's How You Feel	p. 33
Do What Makes You Feel Sexy and Vibrant	p. 33
Doing a Double Take	p. 34
You Wear It Well	p. 34
What the Sirens Knew	p. 36
Knowing Your Style Requires Knowing Yourself	p. 38
Intellectual Magnetism: Your Brain Is the Most Erogenous Part of Your Body	p. 39
What Makes You Sexy? Your Thoughts	p. 39
Your Intellectual Presence	p. 42
Curiosity Livened Up the Cat	p. 43
A World of Things to Be Curious About	p. 43
Get Current	p. 44
Cultural Seduction	p. 45
Outside the Nine to Five	p. 47
The Freewheeling (or Sky Diving or Sailing or Rock Climbing) New You	p. 48
Soul Searching in Seoul	p. 49
Being Genius Enough to Admit to Ignorance	p. 49
Emotional Seductiveness: Creating Those Warm, Fuzzy Feelings	p. 53
What's Your Compassion Quotient?	p. 54
Feelings...Nothing More Than Feelings	p. 55
Learning to Listen: Using Your Ears and Your Heart	p. 56
Fools Rush In, But Seductive People Listen	p. 57
Learning How to "Resonate" with Someone	p. 58
Laughter Is the Best Medicine (and the Best Aphrodisiac to Boot)	p. 59
To Make Others Like You, Like Them	p. 60
Emotional Seductiveness Creates a Win-Win Situation	p. 62
Spirit or Essence: All the Elements of Seductiveness...and More	p. 65
What Color Is Your Aura?	p. 66
Spirit, Essence, or Whatever You Want to Call It: It's What Makes You You	p. 68
Self-Confidence: Where Does It Come From?	p. 69
Essential Elements: Character and Intent	p. 71
Self-Worth: The Reflection of Your Essence	p. 73
Attracting Dates: Casting Your Spell	p. 77
The Ultimate Seductress: A Man's Perspective	p. 79
His Description of a Sexy Woman	p. 80
The Real Deal	p. 80
"Drop-Dead Gorgeous" Defined	p. 81
Seductive Is As Seductive Does	p. 83
Focus, Focus, Focus!	p. 84
A Confidante...or the Town Tattler?	p. 84
The Spirit of the Enchantress...Making It or Breaking It Without Lifting a Finger	p. 85
The Ultimate Seducer: A Woman's Perspective	p. 87
The Most Important Game You May Ever Play	p. 88
Focus Makes Her Heart Grow Fonder	p. 88
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize--Her!	p. 88
Making the Present Perfect (and Leaving History in the Classroom)	p. 89
Make Her Feel Fascinating	p. 90
Forget the "Strong, Silent" Approach--Open Up!	p. 91
Cleanliness Is Next to, Well, Her!	p. 93
Putting a Damper on the Situation	p. 94
Take My Breath Away	p. 95
Smoke Gets in Her Nose	p. 96
Dangerous Digits	p. 98
Romancing the "Little Woman" Ain't What It Used to Be	p. 98
Meeting Attractive People: Matching Your Destination with Your Expectation	p. 101
Where in the World	p. 101
Clubs and Bars: Keep Your Eyes Open, Your Head Clear, and Your Boots On	p. 102
Attention Shoppers! There's a Macarena Contest in the Produce Section in 15 Minutes!	p. 103
Singles Night at the Local Bookstore/Coffee Bar: Sometimes You Can Tell a Book by Its Cover	p. 104
No Matter How Weird It Is, There's Bound to Be a Group for It	p. 105
Religious Groups: Who's There to Pray and Who's There to Prey?	p. 106
The Internet: Getting Lucky Online	p. 106
Personal Ads: Learning to Read Between the Lines	p. 108
Dating Services: A Viable Alternative	p. 109
What Are Friends For!	p. 110
Unexpected Places: It's Not So Much Where You Go As What You Bring	p. 111
The Approach: Putting All That Preparation to Work	p. 113
Like, What's Your Sign? Probably "Stop!"	p. 114
When Silence Is Golden...and When to Break That Silence	p. 116
The Talker	p. 116
The Observer	p. 117
Looking Interested, Not Desperate	p. 119
What? Ask Him Out?	p. 120
Platonic Pothole or Road to Romance? You Decide	p. 122
There Are Friends...and Then There Are Platonic Friends	p. 123
Heading Off the Buddy Syndrome at the Outset	p. 123
Popping the Question (No, Not That One, Silly! Asking Someone for a Date)	p. 125
Romantic Signals: How to Read Them and How to Give Them	p. 127
Developing Your "Body Literacy"	p. 128
Eye Contact: Magic or Menace?	p. 129
Body Talk: Saying It Without Words	p. 130
Leaning with Meaning	p. 132
Positions the Kama Sutra Never Mentions	p. 132
Smile Without Guile	p. 133
Eye Gotta Be Me	p. 133
Animated Annie, or Wooden Wanda?	p. 134
The Proper Use of Props	p. 134
Seduction: It's More than Mental--It's Also a Contact Sport	p. 135
Flirting: Tickle, Tease, or Torture	p. 139
The Flavors of Flirting	p. 139
Hope for the Flirt-O-Phobe	p. 140
Testing, Testing: One, Two...Wow!	p. 142
As God Is My Witness, I Shall Never Flirt Destructively Again!	p. 145
Flirting As a Prelude to Passion	p. 148
The Anatomy of Seductive Flirting	p. 148
The Sweetest Sale You May Ever Make	p. 149
A Seductive Guide to "the Big D": The Date	p. 151
The Beginning: Getting Off to a Great Start	p. 152
Focus on Your Date Instead of Yourself	p. 152
Show Up on Time	p. 153
Don't Try Too Hard to Impress	p. 153
Flattery Will Get You Anywhere--or Nowhere at All	p. 154
To Be Interesting, Be Interested	p. 154
During the Date: Keeping It Fun (and Seductive!)	p. 155
Are We Having Fun Yet?	p. 156
There's Fun, and Then There's Fun	p. 157
The End? Going Gentle Into That Good Night	p. 158
S-E-X: Don't Jump the Gun, or You Might Shoot Yourself in the Foot	p. 158
Repeat Performance?	p. 159
Or...Polite Exit?	p. 161
Rate Your Date	p. 162
So...Just What Are Your Gut Feelings?	p. 162
Okay, Now Ask Yourself These Questions	p. 162
But Enough About You--What About Your Date?	p. 163
A Night to Remember	p. 165
Should We or Shouldn't We?	p. 167
Sex in the '90s and Beyond: A Cautionary Note	p. 168
When More Than Your Imagination Is Fertile	p. 170
When Lust Hits, Go Slow	p. 171
The Wrong Person	p. 171
...Or the Right Person at the Wrong Time?	p. 172
So...How Can I Tell If This Is the Right Person?	p. 172
Enjoy the Moment, But Don't Forget to Look Ahead	p. 176
The Bottom Line: Choose with Care	p. 176
Setting the Stage for Seduction	p. 179
I Had This Dream About You	p. 179
Welcome to Fantasy Island	p. 182
Secrets for the Seductress	p. 183
Subtlety: Letting Him Fill in the Blanks	p. 184
Spontaneity: Being a One-Woman Surprise Party	p. 185
If He Likes What He Sees, He'll Want to See More	p. 186
Secrets for the Seducer	p. 187
Atmosphere Is Everything	p. 187
Tell Me More About My Eyes	p. 188
Patience, Patience, Patience	p. 189
Pre-Game Jitters	p. 191
His Fears	p. 192
That "Size" Thing	p. 192
Performance Anxiety	p. 193
Her Fears	p. 195
Showing Him Her Physical Flaws for the First Time	p. 195
The Big "O"--You've Come a Long Way, Baby	p. 196
Shared Fears	p. 198
Rejection	p. 198
Who Else Is in Here with Us?	p. 198
Primal Fears	p. 199
Reality Bites Back	p. 200
The First Three Times Don't Count	p. 201
Take That Fear and... Transform It!	p. 202
Tonight's the Night: Lovemaking 101	p. 203
Getting Started: When...and How?	p. 204
The Woman Says "When"	p. 204
Making the First Move	p. 205
Relax! It's Not a Competition	p. 206
Easing into the Situation	p. 208
Tips for the Sizzling Seductress	p. 210
If You'll Be Jane, He Will Be Your Tarzan	p. 210
Be a Gentle Teacher	p. 210
An Orgasm by Any Other Name	p. 211
Let There Be Light	p. 211
Adonis Reborn?	p. 211
Right Here in the Parking Lot?!?	p. 212
The Sweet Seducer: Not Just the Same Old In-And-Out	p. 212
Let Her Know She's Beautiful	p. 212
Make Her Know You REALLY Want to Please Her	p. 213
Always Make Her Feel Safe	p. 213
Afterplay	p. 213
A Seductive Potpourri: Tips and Tricks to Make the Night Complete	p. 215
Seductive Is As Seductive Thinks	p. 216
Two Enthusiastic Thumbs Up!	p. 216
Your Own Private Mood Enhancers	p. 217
A Lair to Lure Your Love	p. 217
The Added Seduction of the Unexpected	p. 219
Clothes Encounters of the Seductive Kind	p. 220
More Props for Your Passion Play	p. 222
Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me!	p. 222
...And Other Oral Delights	p. 223
Seductive Oral-Sex Secrets for Her	p. 224
Seductive Oral-Sex Secrets for Him	p. 225
I Sing the Body Erotic	p. 225
Seduction Is Forever	p. 229
There's Got to Be a Morning After	p. 231
Got the Morning-After Blues from My Head Down to My Shoes	p. 232
Self-Doubt and Insecurities	p. 233
Buyer's Remorse	p. 235
Encore...or Final Curtain?	p. 236
What If Your Cup of Tea Isn't Your Mug of Morning Coffee?	p. 237
You Don't Float Your Partner's Boat	p. 239
How to Handle It If It Knocked Your Socks Off	p. 239
Do Unto Others	p. 241
Maintaining the Intrigue: Setting the Stage for Next Time	p. 241
Keeping It Intriguing: Understanding Needs Beyond the Bedroom	p. 245
The Laws of the Gender Jungle	p. 246
Women's Basic Emotional Needs	p. 247
Men's Basic Emotional Needs	p. 249
Shared Emotional Needs	p. 251
You're on a Journey Together, So Don't Forget the Souvenirs	p. 251
Adventures Along the Way	p. 252
You Fill Up My Senses	p. 252
Let's Get Physical	p. 254
Keeping It Spicy: Fanning the Flames with Fantasies and Games	p. 257
Preventing Fantasy Faux Pas	p. 258
Sustaining the Spice with Sexy Play	p. 259
The Show-Off	p. 259
The Mysterious Blond at the Anytown Grand Hotel	p. 260
A Hot Time in the Hot Tub	p. 261
Men's Most Powerful Fantasies	p. 262
Seeing Double	p. 262
The Naked Eye	p. 264
You Want to Do It Where?	p. 264
Exhibit This!	p. 264
Wet and Wild	p. 264
Women's Most Powerful Fantasies	p. 265
Now You See Me	p. 265
Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down	p. 266
That's Ms. Dominatrix to You, Buddy	p. 267
Having Other Male Partners	p. 267
Bisexuality	p. 268
Share and Share Alike	p. 269
What's Love Got to Do with It?	p. 271
When Love Is on the Agenda (Whether You Planned It or Not)	p. 272
Just What the Heck Is True Love, Anyway?	p. 272
Love Means Never Having to Say You're Static	p. 273
In the Beginning: Passionate Love	p. 273
As Time Goes By: Mature Love	p. 274
So...Where Does Seduction Fit into This?	p. 275
Can We Talk About Commitment?	p. 277
Seduction Can Be Forever--Make It So!	p. 278
Choose to Stay in Love with the Relationship	p. 279
Choose to Keep Seducing Your Partner	p. 279
Choose to Keep Seducing Yourself	p. 279
Let Love and Seduction Feed on Each Other	p. 280
Appendices
Resources	p. 281
Books	p. 281
Nonfiction	p. 281
Fiction	p. 283
Instructional Videos	p. 283
The Language of Seduction: A Wordplay Glossary	p. 285
Steamy Seduction Tales	p. 291
Seductresses at Work	p. 291
Easy in the Big Easy	p. 291
Jersey Girl	p. 292
The Apartment	p. 293
Seducers' Success Stories	p. 294
I'm a Little Tied Up Right Now	p. 294
The Wicked Queen	p. 296
Pier Pressure	p. 296
Index	p. 299
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