The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide

by Dobson, James C.

• ISBN13: 9780842352673
• ISBN10: 0842352678
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2000-10-01
• Publisher: TYNDALE HOUSE PUBLISHERS

Summary

Question:Where can parents go when they need quick answers to tough questions about discipline, schooling, money, living with a toddler or teenager, creating a strong spiritual foundation, sex education, sibling rivalry, self-esteem, and making marriage work?Answer:The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide by Dr. James Dobson, America's most respected expert on marriage, parenting, and the family. This comprehensive, easy-to-access resource offers time-tested, biblically based information to help build healthy, God-honoring families. This is a softcover release of the book Solid Answers, previously published in hardcover.

Table of Contents

Appreciation Page	v
Introduction	vii
Understanding the Nature of Children	1	(14)
The Influence of Culture	1	(1)
Temperament	2	(8)
The Innate Disobedient Nature	10	(2)
Testing Authority	12	(3)
Raising the Preschool Child	15	(8)
Fussy Babies	15	(1)
Mental Stimulation	16	(1)
Answering Difficult Questions	17	(1)
Disruptiveness in Church	18	(1)
Lying	18	(1)
Violent Entertainment	19	(1)
Teaching Politeness	20	(1)
Encouraging Responsibility	21	(2)
Disciplining the Preschool Child	23	(16)
Permissiveness	23	(2)
Balancing Love and Control	25	(1)
Instilling Respect	26	(1)
Age-Appropriate Discipline and Responsibility	27	(3)
Fussy Babies and Toddlers	30	(2)
Toilet Training	32	(1)
Discipline	33	(3)
The ``Terrible Twos,''	36	(1)
Avoiding Confrontation	37	(1)
Anticipating the Future	37	(2)
Children's Health and Well-Being	39	(14)
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome	39	(1)
Failure to Grow	40	(1)
Battles over Food	41	(1)
Bed-Wetting	42	(1)
Cruelty to Animals	43	(1)
Nightmares and Night Terrors	43	(2)
Dangers of Marijuana	45	(1)
Alcohol during Pregnancy	46	(1)
Eating Disorders	47	(1)
Childhood Depression	47	(1)
Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma	48	(1)
Childhood Obesity	49	(1)
Stuttering	49	(1)
Preparing for Adolescence	50	(1)
Parental Rights vs. Adolescent's Right to Privacy	51	(2)
Attention Deficit Disorder in Children and Adults	53	(8)
Recognizing Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)	53	(2)
ADD without Hyperactivity	55	(1)
Cause of ADD	56	(1)
ADD as a Lifelong Condition	56	(1)
Positive Features of ADD	57	(1)
Treatment of ADD	57	(1)
Disciplining/Managing the ADD Child	58	(3)
Effective Parenting Today	61	(20)
Prioritizing Parenting	61	(1)
The Challenge of Parenting	62	(3)
Research on Parenting	65	(1)
Discerning a Child's Needs	66	(1)
Dealing with Grandparents	66	(1)
Choosing Clothes	67	(1)
Contemporary Music	67	(1)
Teaching Courtesy in Addressing Adults	68	(1)
Family Activities	68	(1)
Raising the Adopted Child	69	(4)
Dealing with Negative Feelings towards Your Children	73	(1)
Gender Differences	73	(1)
Importance of the Father/Daughter Relationship	74	(1)
Sexual Attitudes and Behavior	75	(1)
Television	76	(2)
Video Games	78	(1)
Violence in Media	78	(1)
Protecting Your Children	79	(2)
Disciplining the Elementary School Child	81	(28)
Guidelines for Discipline	81	(1)
Shaping the Will without Breaking the Spirit	82	(2)
Setting and Enforcing Boundaries	84	(3)
Mutual Respect	87	(1)
Presenting a United Front	87	(1)
External Discipline vs. Internal Control	88	(1)
Recognizing the Origin of Negative Behavior	89	(1)
Venting Feelings	89	(1)
Inappropriate Parental Anger	90	(1)
Dealing with Your Mistakes	91	(1)
Teaching Respect without Instilling Undue Fear	92	(1)
The Habit of Saying No	92	(1)
Disciplining Other People's Children	93	(1)
Discipline in Single-Parent Families	93	(1)
Shaping Moods/Attitudes	93	(4)
The Timing of Negative Consequences	97	(1)
Confronting Disrespectful Behavior	97	(1)
Connecting Behavior with Consequences	98	(1)
Dealing with Morning Dawdling	99	(1)
Reinforcing Positive Behavior with Rewards	100	(2)
Whining	102	(1)
Teaching Responsibility	103	(1)
The Scriptural Basis for Discipline	103	(2)
Listening to Children	105	(1)
Swearing	105	(1)
Setting Boundaries on Family Vacations	105	(1)
Apologizing to Children	106	(1)
Avoiding Adolescent Rebellion	106	(1)
The Bottom Line in Parenting	107	(1)
Advice to Parents of Strong-Willed Children	107	(2)
To Spank or Not to Spank	109	(8)
Effects of Spanking	109	(2)
Dangers of Extremes	111	(2)
Guidelines for Spanking	113	(3)
Corporal Punishment and the Law	116	(1)
What's a Mother to Do?	117	(8)
Creating a Network	117	(1)
Child-Care Centers	118	(1)
Full-Time Mothering vs. Career	119	(3)
Dealing with Fears	122	(3)
Education: Public, Private, and Home Schooling	125	(24)
Teacher-Led vs. Student-Led Education	125	(1)
Public Schools	126	(2)
Corporal Punishment in Schools	128	(1)
Class Discipline	128	(1)
Work/Play Balance	129	(1)
Curriculum Issues	130	(1)
Intellectual Potential	130	(2)
Self Esteem	132	(1)
Developmental Issues	133	(1)
Repeating Grades	134	(1)
Benefits of Formal Education	135	(1)
Disorganization	136	(1)
Writing Skills	136	(1)
``The Class Clown,''	137	(1)
School Choice	138	(1)
Early Reading	139	(1)
Grades	140	(1)
Chaotic Classrooms	141	(1)
Year-Round Schools	141	(1)
Homework	141	(1)
Underachievers	142	(2)
Memorization	144	(1)
Teaching Respect for Other Ethnic Groups	145	(1)
Home Schooling	146	(1)
Voluntary School Prayer	147	(2)
Sex Education: Where, When, and How	149	(16)
Impact of Sex Education Programs	149	(1)
Coed Sex Education	150	(1)
Parental Involvement in Sex Education	151	(2)
Timing of Sex Education	153	(1)
Encouraging Abstinence	154	(1)
When to End Formal Sex Education	155	(1)
``Safe Sex,''	156	(1)
Obstacles to Abstinence Education	157	(1)
What's Missing from Sex Education Programs	158	(1)
Teaching Morality	159	(1)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases	160	(5)
Spiritual Life of the Family	165	(16)
Cultural Influences	165	(1)
Parent's Responsibility to Teach Spiritual Values	166	(1)
Family Devotions	167	(1)
Conceptualizing God for Children	167	(1)
A Critical Period in Spiritual Training	168	(1)
Santa Claus	169	(1)
Halloween	169	(1)
``Forcing'' Religion on Children	170	(1)
Rebellion Against Childhood Spiritual Training	171	(3)
Praying for the Spiritual Welfare of Children	174	(5)
Dealing with Past Mistakes	179	(1)
The Role of Grandparents	179	(2)
The Tougher Spiritual Questions	181	(16)
Yes and No Answers to Prayer	181	(2)
Depending on God	183	(1)
Praying for Miracles	184	(2)
Dangers of Human Pride	186	(2)
Determining God's Will	188	(3)
Faith during Suffering	191	(3)
Spiritual Stability	194	(3)
Sibling Rivalry	197	(6)
The Inevitability of Rivalry	197	(1)
Minimizing the Rivalry	197	(3)
Fighting to Attract Attention	200	(1)
Establishing a ``System of Justice,''	201	(2)
Help for Single Parents and Stepparents	203	(8)
Encouragement for Single Parents	203	(1)
Blended Families	204	(2)
Time Away	206	(1)
Challenges of Non-Custodial Parents	206	(1)
Help for Single Mothers Raising Sons	207	(1)
Visitation	208	(1)
Helping Single Parents	208	(3)
Living with a Teenager	211	(42)
Causes of Promiscuity	211	(1)
Development Rates	212	(1)
Challenges of Early Adolescence	213	(2)
Power Issues	215	(4)
Fatigue	219	(1)
Self-Consciousness/Body Image	219	(1)
Communication ``Blackouts,''	220	(2)
Hormonal Influences	222	(1)
Channeling Energy Positively	223	(1)
Parental Influence on Smoking/Drug Abuse	223	(1)
Masturbation	224	(2)
Dating vs. ``Courtship,''	226	(1)
Gender Roles	227	(1)
Causes of Disrespectful Behavior	228	(1)
Influences of Modern Music/Media	229	(4)
Preparing Teens for Independence	233	(2)
Picking Your Battles	235	(2)
The Bottom Line on Surviving the Teen Years	237	(1)
Absentee Fathers	237	(1)
Creating a Father-Son Bond	238	(2)
The Father-Daughter Relationship	240	(1)
Mother-Daughter Friction	241	(1)
Drawing the Line on Negative Behavior	242	(1)
Teen Violence	243	(1)
Motivating Teenagers	244	(2)
Using Action, Not Anger	246	(2)
Responding to a Teenage Pregnancy	248	(1)
Symptoms of Drug Abuse	248	(1)
Pros and Cons of ``Privacy,''	249	(1)
Harmful Cultural Trends	250	(1)
Moms at Home during Adolescence?	251	(2)
The Delicate Art of Letting Go	253	(4)
Impact of the Empty Nest on Fathers	253	(1)
Parental Reluctance to Let Go	254	(1)
When Adult Children Return Home	255	(1)
Easing the Transition to College	256	(1)
Advice to Young Adults	257	(32)
Adult Children Living at Home	257	(2)
Dealing with Insecurity	259	(1)
Pacing a Love Relationship	260	(1)
Fear of Divorce	260	(1)
Avoiding Sexual Temptation	261	(1)
Love at First Sight	262	(1)
The Decision to Love	262	(1)
The Test of a Dating Relationship	263	(1)
Conversation in Relationships	263	(2)
Preparing for Motherhood and a Career	265	(1)
Motherhood as an Honorable Profession	266	(1)
Selecting a Mate	266	(2)
Importance of Life-long Commitment in Marriage	268	(1)
Finding and Following God's Call	269	(1)
Respect in Marriage	270	(1)
Christian College vs. Secular University	271	(6)
Date Rape	277	(1)
Coed Dormitories	277	(1)
Preparing for a Career	278	(3)
Avoiding Moral Failure	281	(2)
Principles for Healthy Dating Relationships	283	(2)
Practical Advice on Maintaining Chastity	285	(1)
Dealing with Anger against Parents	286	(1)
Avoiding Addictions	287	(2)
Building Self-Confidence in Children and Teens	289	(16)
Causes of Low Self-Esteem	289	(1)
Physical Attractiveness and Self-Esteem	290	(1)
Intelligence and Self-Esteem	290	(1)
Parental Influence in Self-Esteem	291	(1)
Values That Support Self-Esteem	292	(1)
The Influence of Painful Experiences	293	(1)
The Influence of Toys and Culture	294	(2)
Challenges of the Middle Child	296	(1)
Negative Expectations	296	(1)
Mental Blocks	297	(1)
The Role of Teachers	298	(2)
Teaching Empathy	300	(1)
Self Esteem and Sibling Rivalry	301	(1)
Early Teen Issues	302	(1)
Accepting Your Child's Basic Personality	302	(1)
Humor vs. Ridicule	303	(2)
Making Marriage Work	305	(30)
How Men and Women Need Each Other	305	(4)
The Effects of Martial Decline	309	(1)
Avoiding Divorce	309	(1)
Improving Communication	310	(1)
Communicating Needs	311	(3)
Meeting Social Needs outside Marriage	314	(1)
Effects of Crises on Marriage	315	(1)
Premarital Counseling	316	(2)
No-Fault Divorce	318	(1)
Sex in Marriage	319	(5)
Fighting Fair	324	(1)
The Marital Doldrums	324	(2)
Causes of Conflict	326	(1)
Creating Word Pictures	327	(1)
Couples Who Work Together	328	(1)
Fighting the ``Law of Disintegration,''	328	(1)
Sharing Troubling Information	329	(1)
Creating Family Traditions	329	(1)
The Need for Affirmation	330	(1)
Gender Differences	331	(4)
Money Matters	335	(6)
Leaving an Inheritance to Your Children	335	(1)
Biblical Perspectives on Money	336	(5)
Families Under Fire	341	(34)
Future of the Traditional Family	341	(3)
Maintaining Self-Respect in a Difficult Marriage	344	(3)
Feeling ``Trapped,''	347	(2)
Scriptural Perspective on Letting Go	349	(1)
Ultimatums	350	(1)
Hope for Marriages ``Beyond Repair,''	351	(1)
Forgiving an Unfaithful Spouse	352	(1)
The Challenge of ``Tough Love,''	352	(2)
Who's to Blame?	354	(2)
Defining Unconditional Love	356	(1)
Tough Love and ``Rights,''	356	(1)
Dealing with Unfaithfulness	357	(5)
Conflict in Marriage	362	(1)
Abuse in Marriage	362	(1)
Effects of Divorce	363	(4)
Parent-Child Separation	367	(2)
Emotional Effects of Menopause	369	(1)
Depression	370	(1)
Recovering from Abuse	371	(1)
Dealing with Stress	372	(1)
Low Self-Esteem	373	(2)
The Great Marriage Killers	375	(14)
Common Marriage Killers	375	(2)
Balancing Priorities	377	(3)
Dealing with Alcoholism	380	(5)
Pornography	385	(1)
Overcommitment	386	(3)
The Sancitity of Life	389	(10)
In Vitro Fertilization	389	(2)
Abortion and Child Abuse	391	(1)
Fetal Tissue Research	391	(2)
Defense of Pro-Life View	393	(1)
Preventing Abortions	394	(1)
Euthanasia	394	(5)
Other Issues Facing the Family	399	(24)
Homosexuality	399	(12)
Definition of the Family	411	(1)
Commonsense Child Rearing	412	(1)
Christian Involvement in Public Policy	413	(3)
Cultural Implications of Sexual Behavior	416	(1)
Gambling	417	(2)
Censorship	419	(1)
Abortion and Civil Disobedience	420	(1)
Multiculturalism	421	(2)
Principles and Concepts Drawn from Dr. Dobson's Books and Statements Through the Years	423	(10)
Endnotes	433	(8)
Index	441	(14)
Index of Scripture References	455