Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely

by Henkin, Bill

• ISBN13: 9781881943129
• ISBN10: 1881943127
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1996-09-01
• Publisher: Daedalus Pub Co

Summary

How to Talk About it and How to do it safely,In this book the authors define and demystify the,unique language of consensual sadomasochismexamine the psychological power of erotic,dominance and submission, provide a carefully,considered guide for safe SM play, and explain how,SM can be an activity of intense intimacy and,sophisticated erotic theater, as well as one of,simple sexual pleasure.

Table of Contents

Disclaimers & Acknowledgments	13	(4)
Foreword	17	(4)
Gloria Brame
Introduction: How We Got Here	21	(1)
Bill's Story	21	(3)
Sybil's Story	24	(3)
Introduction to the Book	27	(4)
What is SM? What is it Not?	31	(18)
Myths, Fears, & Stereotypes	31	(2)
Erotic Theatre	33	(1)
Fantasy Punishment & Real Punishment	33	(3)
Pain & Violence, Abuse & Consent	36	(5)
Self-Esteem	41	(6)
What is SM?	47	(2)
Defining and Demystifying the Language	49	(30)
The Language of SM	49	(2)
Top's Disease, Bottom's Disease, & Topping from the Bottom	51	(28)
SAMs & SASs	53	(2)
Dominant Masochists & Submissive Sadists	55	(1)
Infantilists & Fetishists	56	(1)
Lifestyle DS	57	(3)
An SM Glossary	60	(19)
Playing Safely	79	(150)
What Makes SM Safe	79	(1)
Knowing What You Want, Knowing What You Need, Knowing the Differences Between Them	80	(4)
Negotiation, Limits, & Safewords	84	(9)
Negotiation Lists	93	(12)
On Doing Psychotherapy in the Dungeon	105	(6)
Finding Others	111	(8)
Organizations	111	(3)
CyberSM	114	(2)
BBSs	116	(3)
Personal Ads	119	(2)
Other Places to Meet People	121	(3)
Leather Events	121	(2)
Society at Large	123	(1)
How to Decide Whether or Not to Play with Someone New to You	124	(3)
Elementary Social Skills for Players	127	(2)
Dungeon Etiquette	129	(4)
SM Scenes	133	(7)
A Brief Overview of Setting up a Scene	133	(2)
Two People Playing Together for the First Time	135	(2)
Experienced Players Playing Together for the Nth Time	137	(1)
What to Do When Scenes Don't Work	137	(3)
Inner Children & Other Alternate Personas	140	(5)
SM & Spirituality	145	(4)
Tantric SM	149	(6)
SM Safety	155	(7)
Why is Safety Such a Big Issue?	155	(2)
Body Play	157	(1)
Sensation	157	(1)
Pressure	157	(1)
Squeezing (hand)	157	(1)
Straps	158	(1)
Clips & Clamps	158	(1)
Teeth & Nails	159	(1)
Vices	160	(1)
Weights	161	(1)
Friction	162	(2)
Abrasion	162	(1)
Shaving	162	(2)
Temperature	164	(7)
Mentholatums	164	(1)
Other Spicy/Minty Products	165	(1)
Candle Wax	166	(4)
Hot Air Blowers, Hair Dryers	170	(1)
Ice	170	(1)
Soft Touch	171	(1)
Tickling	171	(1)
Feathers & Furs	171	(1)
Flagellation	172	(9)
The Bare Hand	174	(1)
Slapping	174	(1)
Spanking	175	(2)
Paddling	177	(1)
Whipping	177	(2)
Cropping	179	(1)
Caning	180	(1)
Belting	181	(1)
Bondage & Restriction	181	(19)
Materials	183	(1)
Ropes & Other Ties	183	(2)
Irons: Chains, Fetters, Locks, & Handcuffs	185	(2)
Leather Cuffs, Belts, & Restraints	187	(1)
Spreader Bars	188	(1)
Gags	188	(2)
Blindfolds	190	(1)
Hoods	191	(1)
Forms	192	(1)
Standing Bondage	192	(2)
Bondage Lying Down	194	(1)
Auto Bondage	195	(1)
Mummification	195	(1)
Sensory Deprivation	196	(1)
Suspension	197	(1)
Breast & Genital Bondage	198	(1)
Bondage Emergencies	199	(1)
Playing on the Edge: Extreme SM Activities	200	(17)
Water Sports & Bodily Fluids	202	(1)
Urine	202	(2)
Feces	204	(1)
Enemas	204	(2)
Piercing	206	(1)
Cutting	207	(1)
Branding	207	(1)
Electricity	208	(1)
Breath Control	209	(1)
Intense Emotional & Psychological Play	210	(1)
Humiliation	211	(1)
Interrogation & Other Resistance Games	212	(1)
Rape & Castration Fantasies	213	(2)
Knife Play & Other Terror Games	215	(1)
Gender Play	216	(1)
Age Play	216	(1)
Sexual Extremes	217	(1)
Sex	217	(9)
Yes or No; Birth Control	217	(1)
Safer Sex, Clean Toys, AIDS, & Other STDs	218	(4)
Penetration	222	(1)
Fingers, Dildoes, Butt Plugs, & the Like	222	(1)
Catheters & Sounds	223	(1)
Fisting	224	(1)
Vaginal	224	(1)
Anal	225	(1)
A Basic SM First Aid Kit	226	(3)
Erotic Power Play: A Selected, Annotated SM Bibliography	229	(14)
Resources	243	(4)
About the Authors	247	(2)
Index	249