Dad, You're Not Funny and Other Poems And Other Poems

by Turner, Steve; Mostyn, David

• ISBN13: 9780745940250
• ISBN10: 0745940250
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2000-08-18
• Publisher: Lion Books

Summary

Welcome to a world of secret islands, haunted houses, teachers, embarrassing dads, and wrestling mums. In this collection of witty poems, Steve Turner takes a quirky look at the pains and pleasures of growing up.

Author Biography

STEVE TURNER is a performance poet and journalist. Author of several anthologies of adult verse, children's poetry and many rock biographies.DAVID MOSTYN is a widely published cartoonist and illustrator.

Table of Contents

Introduction
Family and Friends
The Best Dad	9	(1)
Dad, You're Not Funny	10	(2)
Cranky, Scotty, Mooey and Me	12	(4)
Sue Was Two	16	(1)
Ten Things Mums Never Say	17	(1)
When Grandad Comes to Stay	18	(1)
Kisses	19	(1)
Shopping with Mum	20	(2)
Best Friends	22	(1)
Fun and Games
The Flying Wheel	23	(1)
Pocket Money	24	(2)
Mud	26	(1)
Digging a Hole	27	(1)
Travel Game	28	(1)
The Monarch	29	(1)
Knocking on Doors	30	(3)
Countdown	33	(1)
The Fair	34	(1)
Tread on a Crack and You Marry a Rat	35	(1)
Alphabet	36	(2)
You're It!	38	(1)
Roads and Places
Secrets	39	(1)
Lovers' Lane	40	(1)
Railway Track	41	(1)
Haunted House	42	(2)
In Our Garden	44	(1)
Jubilee Road	45	(1)
Heaven	46	(2)
Cathedral	48	(1)
Ladies and Gentlemen
The Queen of May	49	(1)
Rag and Bone Man	50	(2)
Cowboy	52	(1)
The Teacher's Gift	53	(1)
Snogging	54	(1)
Teddy Boy	55	(1)
Stinker	56	(1)
Miss Hart	57	(1)
Bobby	58	(1)
News and Weather
Whether the Weather	59	(1)
Christmas	60	(2)
New Year's Resolution	62	(1)
It's Fun to Have a Fever	63	(1)
Fire!	64	(2)
PC Buttle	66	(1)
In My Day	67	(1)
Get Off	68	(2)
New Shoes	70	(1)
December 19th	71	(1)
Birth	72	(1)
Body and Spirit
Who Am I?	73	(1)
The Skull	74	(2)
Hair and Teeth and Face and Hands	76	(2)
Gingerbread Man	78	(1)
Food	79	(1)
Elbows	79	(1)
With My Hands	80	(2)
Ghost Story	82	(1)
Ode to a Nose	83	(1)
Backwards	84	(1)
Animals and Insects
The Spider's Excuse	85	(1)
Miss Muffett	85	(1)
Hey Diddle Diddle	86	(1)
Hickory Digital Clock	87	(1)
Cat	88	(1)
Limerick	89	(1)
A Dog Called Nothing	90	(1)
Thoughts and Dreams
What Did You want to Be When You Grew Up?	91	(1)
That Little Word	92	(1)
The Wheel	93	(1)
Why Are You Late for School?	94	(1)
I Want to be	95	(1)
The Future	96