Daring to Trust

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  • Edition: 1st
  • Format: Trade Paper
  • Copyright: 2011-07-26
  • Publisher: Shambhala
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Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust-both in ourselves and in our partner. Daring to Trust offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include: " How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them) " Why we fear trusting " Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others " How to know if someone is trustworthy " Na ve trust vs. healthy, adult trust " What to do when trust is broken Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.

Author Biography

David Richo, PHD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, writer, and workshop leader whose work emphasizes the benefits of mindfulness and loving-kindness in personal growth and emotional well-being. He is the author of numerous books, including How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.

Table of Contents

Introductionp. 1
How This Book Came to Bep. 2
Our Need, Our Fear, Our Riskp. 6
Practice: Exploring Our History of Trustp. 8
What Is Trust?p. 11
Intelligent Distrustp. 15
Our Capacity for Trustingp. 18
Needs and How They Play Outp. 21
Reading Ourselvesp. 26
Practice: Following Our Needsp. 28
There Are Healthy Connectionsp. 30
Bonds of Attaching and Relatingp. 33
Breathe, Pause, Start Overp. 37
Exploring Our Childlike and Adult Trustp. 38
Our Early Sense of Trustp. 42
Our First Stepsp. 46
Gone but Herep. 52
Receiving Comfort and Facing Challengep. 53
Trusting and Lovingp. 54
How Trust Happens in Relationshipsp. 58
Reciprocal Trustp. 60
Surrender in a Committed Relationshipp. 65
To Whom Shall We Go?p. 69
Exploring Our Style of Trustingp. 71
When the Five A's Meet the Egop. 72
Practices for Auditing Our Relationship
How to Know If Someone Can Be Trustedp. 75
How Communication Becomes Trustworthyp. 79
How We Miss Trustp. 83
Trusting Can Wake Old Ghostsp. 85
Practice: Freeing Ourselves from the Fear of Trusting Our Own Powerp. 91
When Our Story Gets in the Wayp. 94
Practice: Erasing the Storyboardp. 96
Trust Lost, Trust Regainedp. 101
The Silent Treatmentp. 103
Lies We Tell, Hear, or Won't Hearp. 107
A Double Lifep. 113
Practice: Letting Go of Obsessionp. 116
When We Cheatp. 118
When We Are Betrayedp. 122
Why We Put Up with Painp. 125
Practices for Rebuilding Broken Trust
Noticing How Our Past Is Presentp. 130
The Work of the Partner Who Broke Trustp. 133
The Personal Work of the Partner Who Was Betrayedp. 135
When Both Partners Want to Work on the Relationshipp. 137
Trusting Ourselvesp. 144
Trusting Our Feelingsp. 148
Practice: Working with Our Emotionsp. 152
Trusting Our Bodiesp. 154
Trusting Our Sexualityp. 156
Can I Trust Myself in a Crisis ?p. 158
Befriending the Three Witchesp. 161
No Longer Victimsp. 163
A Positive Approach to Ourselvesp. 165
Our Core Trust in Realityp. 166
The Supreme Attunementp. 172
Practice: Fidelity to Ourselvesp. 176
Four Reliable Directionsp. 178
Practice: Using Our Compass of Trustp. 182
Trust in Powers beyond Usp. 187
Our Longing for Meaningp. 192
Buddhist Paths to Adult Trustp. 195
Trust in the Higher Selfp. 200
Practice: Awakening at Many Levelsp. 205
Epilogue: Trust in Grace-full Coincidencep. 208
About the Authorp. 212
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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