Dating Sucks

The enormous success of Pregnancy Sucks and Pregnancy Sucks for Men has made Joanne Kimes a bona fide expert on the fine art of complaining-and dating can go on a lot longer than nine months. Dating Sucks is an indispensable resource to keep dignity and sanity intact through the hellfires of dating. Includes: Meeting Men-from crazy matchmakers to nasty bars to the chaos of cyberspace The Directory of Duds-the guys who show up at the door and make the modern woman want to slam it Surviving the First Date-the hell she endures to get a free meal The Sexual Revulsion-the physical side of dating in the new millennium What's Good on TV-all the stuff she'd rather be doing than going on one more date.

Joanne Kimes is the author of Pregnancy Sucks and of Pregnancy Sucks for Men. She has written for a number of children's and comedy television shows and has more than two decades of dating under her belt. She lives in Studio City, California, with her husband and daughter.

Acknowledgments	p. xi
Introduction	p. xiii
Why Go Out When There's So Much Good Stuff on TV?	p. 1
Pressure from Your Friends	p. 3
Pressure to Find the Last Good Guy Out There Before Someone Else Grabs Him	p. 5
Pressure from the Competition	p. 6
Pressure from Your Family	p. 10
Pressure from Society	p. 13
Pressure from Mother Nature	p. 16
Pressure from Father Time	p. 19
Pressure from Yourself	p. 21
The Best Things about Being Single	p. 22
The Directory of Duds	p. 23
The Fixer-Upper	p. 25
Mr. Cheapo	p. 26
The Older Man	p. 27
The Younger Man	p. 29
The Noncommittal Man	p. 31
Mr. Come On Too Strong	p. 33
The Married Man	p. 34
The Divorced Man with Kids	p. 35
The Player	p. 37
Mr. God's Gift to Women	p. 38
Mr. Great Guy with No Sex Appeal	p. 40
Mr. Manly Man	p. 42
The Bad Boy	p. 43
Mr. Passive Man	p. 44
Reasons Why Having a Dog Can Be So Much Better Than Having a Boyfriend	p. 46
Where to Dive into the Dating Pool So You Won't Break Your Neck	p. 47
Where Everybody Knows Your Name	p. 48
No Pain, No Gain	p. 50
Where to Find a Man with a Good Hard Drive	p. 51
Find Me a Find, Catch Me a Catch	p. 54
In God We Trust	p. 56
Working It!	p. 58
Blind Dating	p. 60
Nuptial Nookie	p. 63
Speed Dating: Dating at the Speed of Fright	p. 65
Used-Date Parties	p. 68
Get Your Fix	p. 70
Men's Hangouts	p. 73
The Silver Lining	p. 76
Let the Games Begin	p. 77
Location, Location, Location	p. 79
Dating Within Our League	p. 80
Single Fellas in the Mist	p. 82
Pick-Up Lines	p. 84
How to Read a Man's Body	p. 86
When the F**** Will He Call?	p. 87
Being Stood Up	p. 90
The Stepford Date	p. 92
Zip That Lip!	p. 95
The Art of Rejection	p. 97
When Should You Sleep with Him?	p. 100
Don't Be Such a Girl	p. 102
Nice Guys Finish Last	p. 104
Safety First!	p. 106
Some Practical Advice	p. 108
The First Date: The Hell You Endure to Get a Free Meal	p. 109
He Pops the Question	p. 111
Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes	p. 112
Dress to Obsess	p. 115
Your Dating To-Do List	p. 118
Take a Second to Make a First Impression	p. 121
Ding-Dong, Your Date Is Here!	p. 122
Driving in Cars with a Boy	p. 123
Date-Place Disasters	p. 126
Let's Give Him Something to Talk About	p. 129
Food Frustrations	p. 131
Check Please	p. 133
Now What?	p. 134
The Goodnight Kiss	p. 135
Best Free Meals	p. 137
Post-Traumatic Date Disorder	p. 139
Pick Your No's	p. 141
Physical Turnoffs	p. 141
Bad Manners	p. 143
Personality Traits	p. 146
Clothes Make the Man...a Loser	p. 147
His Natural Habitat	p. 148
Red Flag Alert	p. 150
The Test of Love	p. 152
The Second Interview	p. 156
Things That Are Much Better to Do Without a Man	p. 157
To Insanity and Beyond!	p. 159
Limbo Guy	p. 160
Temporary Insanity	p. 161
Push-Me-Pull-You Dance of Intimacy	p. 164
You Are What You Hate	p. 166
Dating Miscarriage	p. 168
Cheater Pants	p. 170
I Love You, You Love Me Not	p. 172
The Best Part about Being Single Again	p. 175
The Sexual Revulsion	p. 177
Kissing Catastrophes	p. 179
Foreplay Schmoreplay	p. 181
Funky-Looking Genitals	p. 183
The Two-Pump Chump	p. 184
The Energizer Bunny	p. 185
Mr. Too Big	p. 186
Physical Shortcomings	p. 187
Boys Can Be Kinky Boys	p. 189
Bad Moves	p. 192
Got Viagra?	p. 193
A Sex Drive That's Stuck in Neutral	p. 195
The Beached Whale	p. 196
Other Ways to Burn 150 Calories	p. 198
Special Dating Dilemmas	p. 199
Dating After Divorce	p. 200
Dating After Your Heart's Been Broken	p. 202
Dating As an Older Woman	p. 205
Dating After the Death of a Spouse	p. 207
Dating with Low Self-Esteem	p. 209
Dating After You Have Kids	p. 211
You Did It!	p. 215
Congratulations!	p. 215
Ten Signs That You Have a Boyfriend	p. 217
Single-Girl Resources	p. 219
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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