Destructive Myths in Family Therapy How to Overcome Barriers to Communication by Seeing and Saying -- A Humanistic Perspective

by Kramer-Moore, Daniela; Moore, Michael

• ISBN13: 9780470667002
• ISBN10: 0470667001
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2012-04-30
• Publisher: Wiley-Blackwell

Summary

Exposes destructive patterns of communication within family cultures and provides strategies for promoting more open dialogue among family members. Equips family therapists to help clients see the barriers they place in the way of healthy communication, and adopt more constructive alternatives Provides activities designed to spark open dialogue between therapist and clients, strengthening the therapeutic relationship and facilitating family interaction Includes communication strategies for reversing disengagement, defusing power struggles, overcoming sibling rivalry, disentangling marital problems and more Offers a new understanding of family dynamics, an area in which many family therapists want to improve their skills but have struggled to find a text to guide them in doing so

Author Biography

Daniela Kramer-Moore is currently a Visiting Lecturer in the Department of Psychology, University of Warwick. A family therapist with many years' experience of working with high risk adolescents and their families, she now heads the post-graduate Psychotherapy Centre at Oranim Academic College, Kiryat Tiv'on, Israel, where she previously led the Masters program in Educational Counselling. Michael Moore is currently a Visiting Lecturer in the Department of Psychology, University of Warwick. He is a social psychologist with many scholarly publications in the field, and was until recently Head of the Department of Education in Technology and Science at Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa, Israel.

Table of Contents

Preface	p. xiii
Acknowledgments	p. xvii
Seeing-The Choices we Make	p. 1
Blindness, or With Eyes Wide Shut	p. 5
Dangers, Taboos, and Punishments	p. 8
Identified Patients	p. 9
A Continuum of Blindness	p. 10
Total blindness	p. 11
Tunnel vision	p. 11
Partial vision	p. 12
Broad vistas	p. 12
Clear vision	p. 12
Surprise, Surprise!	p. 13
The Irreversibility of Seeing	p. 14
Activities	p. 15
Pin the tail	p. 15
Blind walk	p. 15
Blind spots	p. 16
Train ride	p. 16
Picture gallery	p. 17
To see ourselves as others see us	p. 17
Distortions, or It's All for the Best!	p. 18
A Few Ego Defense Mechanisms	p. 20
Family Defense Mechanisms	p. 21
Activities	p. 30
Family map 1	p. 30
Family map 2	p. 31
Family gossip	p. 31
What do the neighbors think about us?	p. 32
Masquerade	p. 32
Insight through Therapy, or To See or Not To See	p. 33
The Goals of Therapy	p. 35
Stages of Therapy	p. 37
Insightful recognition of PFPs	p. 37
The implementation of change	p. 40
Evaluation and conclusion	p. 47
Activities	p. 49
Family pain mapping	p. 49
Genogram	p. 49
Roles	p. 50
A sack of stones	p. 50
Conflict or What is this quarrel about?	p. 51
Windows	p. 51
Making Therapy Work, or Practice What You Preach	p. 52
The Therapist as Client	p. 53
Neutrality, Empathy, Authenticity, and Creativity	p. 54
The Therapeutic Agreement	p. 58
Types of Clients	p. 61
Stopping and Reflecting	p. 62
Implementing Change	p. 63
Individual vs. Family Therapy	p. 64
A Few Words on Group Psychotherapy	p. 65
About the Activities	p. 66
Multicultural Perspective	p. 67
Activities	p. 70
Agreement	p. 70
Listen!	p. 70
Good cop, bad cop	p. 71
The four Fs	p. 71
Empathy training	p. 71
Saying-The Power of Words	p. 73
Homeostatic Messages, or Don't Rock the Boat!	p. 77
Let's not talk about it	p. 82
Everyone has problems!	p. 85
Count your blessings	p. 86
Better the devil you know	p. 88
Activities	p. 90
A word to the wise	p. 90
Action blockers	p. 91
Time travel	p. 91
A note to myself	p. 92
Script writing	p. 92
Lack of Authenticity, or Keep a Stiff Upper Lip	p. 94
Four Conceptions of Authenticity	p. 95
Authenticity as a Trait	p. 100
Pseudo Living	p. 101
And They Lived Happily Ever After	p. 102
C'mon, Give Daddy a Smile!	p. 103
Play Hard to Get	p. 105
What Will the Neighbors Say?	p. 106
Forgive and Forget!	p. 107
Activities	p. 108
A word to the wise	p. 108
Hidden Agenda 1	p. 108
Hidden Agenda 2	p. 109
Objects	p. 109
Dinner time	p. 110
Packages	p. 110
Inequality, or What Can You Expect From a Man?	p. 111
The Status of Children	p. 113
Spousal Equality	p. 115
It's for your own good!	p. 116
Honor your father	p. 119
I'm glad we had this little talk	p. 120
It's not the same thing	p. 121
I told you so	p. 122
Activities	p. 123
A word to the wise	p. 123
Line up	p. 123
A piece of cake	p. 123
Favoritism	p. 124
Respect me!	p. 124
Same or different?	p. 125
Belittling, or Who Do You Think You Are?	p. 126
Types of Belittling	p. 128
Targets and Consequences	p. 129
You are too young to understand	p. 135
You're just like your father/mother!	p. 136
But at least you've got nice eyes	p. 137
It's all your fault	p. 138
You're oversensitive	p. 138
Activities	p. 140
A word to the wise	p. 140
Little people	p. 140
Pick a card	p. 140
Family sculpture	p. 141
Ruler	p. 141
Bookkeeping, or Just You Wait	p. 142
Individualism vs. Collectivism	p. 144
Bookkeeping in the Family	p. 145
You owe me!	p. 146
I'll never forgive you	p. 147
But you yourself have said so!	p. 149
It serves you right!	p. 150
This is the last time I'm taking you on an outing!	p. 151
Activities	p. 153
A word to the wise	p. 153
The black book	p. 153
Rooms	p. 153
Family secrets	p. 154
Shopping list	p. 154
Family Rivalry, or Divide and Conquer	p. 155
Sibling Rivalry	p. 159
Parental Rivalry	p. 159
Let him have it!	p. 160
OK - Who started it?	p. 161
Why can't you be more like your sister?	p. 162
Who loves Mommy best?	p. 164
Activities	p. 166
A word to the wise	p. 166
Once upon a time	p. 166
Family scripts	p. 166
It figures	p. 167
Family garden	p. 167
In Lieu of Conclusion: Myths in the Service of Psychopathology	p. 169
Activities	p. 173
A letter to myself	p. 173
Family sculpture	p. 173
I and We	p. 173
Temperature taking	p. 174
The road taken	p. 174
Closure	p. 175
References	p. 177
Index	p. 191
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