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Life does not listen to your logic; it goes on its own way, undisturbed.You have to listen to life; life will not listen to your logic,it does not bother about your logic.-- Osho
I could feel the coolness of the metal against my head. How could it have come to this? I was actually sitting in a shabby motel room with a gun pushed up against my temple, ready to squeeze the trigger. Sweat was pouring down my forehead and my heart was beating wildly. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. No one knew where I was. No one seemed to care anymore. I had nothing to live for. So I was preparing to die.
I could see the headline of my obituary right now: "Dar Sandersen, international hotel entrepreneur, divorced father of three, dead at age 44 -- by his own hand."
But as I closed my eyes and said a final prayer aloud, something unexpected -- no, miraculous -- happened. I began to feel dizzy and fell to the floor, the gun dropping out of my hand. As I lay there, motionless, a blinding white light began to fill my body. But before you dismiss my story, please know that I've always been a very grounded and reasonable person. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. I'd always chuckled on hearing stories of the mystical, deeming them flaky and irresponsible. I didn't -- and still don't -- talk to angels, nor do I run my life according to the daily position of the stars. Yet, I cannot discount or deny what happened to me in that motel room only twelve months ago. Was it an experience of the divine? Was it a spiritual awakening? Was it simply a physical reaction to the extreme stress I was experiencing? Truthfully, I do not know. What I do know is what happened there set into motion a series of events that have transformed every element of the life I once knew.
The light grew brighter and brighter. Soon, my entire body began to shake, as if I were experiencing a massive seizure. Sweat flowed out of me in torrents as my arms, legs, and torso trembled on the cold and filthy floor. This continued for what seemed like an eternity. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, came these words that pierced the deepest part of me: "Your life is a treasure and you are so much more than you know."
That was it. Once these words flashed across my mind, I stopped shaking. I just lay there, in a pool of perspiration, staring up at the ceiling. I had never felt such internal peace in all my life. I was completely in my body, fully within my heart. Life is a treasure and you are so much more than you know.
After a while, I slowly rose to my feet and packed up my belongings. Something deep within me had shifted, though I can't explain it -- I just felt it. I no longer had an interest in taking my own life. Maybe that voice was right -- maybe I did have much more within me than I was currently aware of.
Generally, when we face hard times, we think the way we see the world reflects the way it really is. This is a false assumption. We are simply viewing the world from our hopeless frame of reference. We are seeing things through sad and hopeless eyes. The truth of the matter is that when we begin to feel better, our world will look better. And when we return to a state of joyfulness within, our outer world will reflect that feeling to us. I've learned that the world is a mirror. We receive from life not what we want but who we are. I've also learned that there are seasons to our lives and painful times never last. Trust that the winter of your sorrow will yield to the summer of your joy, just as the brilliant rays of the morning always follow the darkest part of the night.
I no longer was a desperate case, feeling sorry for myself. I no longer saw no way out. Some sort of power had been returned to me that day. And though my life was still a mess, truth be told, I had begun to know that I possessed the power to improve it. For some reason, I trusted that help was on the way and that happier days were coming. Little did I know how wonderful this help would be and how beautiful my life would become. But before I get into these details, you may be wondering what circumstances led my spirit to fall into such a state of decay that I could even consider taking my own life.
Only a few years ago, I thought I was living the life everyone dreamed of. I had a lovely and intelligent wife who loved me deeply. I had three healthy and happy children who excelled at all they chose to do. I was making more money than I could have ever imagined, as the owner of a string of hip boutique hotels located at sophisticated hot spots around the globe. Movie stars, the fabulously wealthy, and the glitterati in general were among my clients. I traveled to exotic places, accumulated many toys, and became fairly well known, at least in the marketspace within which I worked.
Then, one day, my entire world fell apart. I arrived home late after a business dinner with the vendor of a property I was interested in buying. Rachel usually left a few lights on for me but, on this night, the house was completely dark. It made no sense -- it was only ten o'clock.Where was Rachel? Where were the kids?
Discover Your Destiny
Excerpted from Discover Your Destiny with the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Blueprint for Living Your Best Life by Robin Sharma
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
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