Don't Stop Laughing Now! : Stories to Tickle Your Funny Bone and Strengthen Your Faith

by Compiled by Ann Spangler and Shari MacDonald

• ISBN13: 9780310239963
• ISBN10: 0310239966
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-12-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

The best of the best-stories, one-liners, and jokes from some of today's funniest Christian speakers and bestselling writers This new book, like its bestselling predecessors, is packed with the kind of smiles and smirks, chuckles and giggles that thousands of readers have come to love and expect. It includes some of the funniest stories from today's Christian writers like Barbara Johnson, John Ortberg, Mark Buchanan, Patsy Clairmont, Becky Freeman, Chonda Pierce, and more. Whether the topic is kids, marriage, pets, church, parenting, aging, or life's most embarrassing moments, the writers will help you keep life in perspective by revealing their own foibles, follies, and failings. Realizing that laughter and faith can go hand in hand, they offer real-life anecdotes that will keep your world in balance even-and especially-when life gets tough.

Author Biography

Ann Spangler is the author of several best-selling books, including She Who Laughs, Lasts! and Women of the Bible (coauthored with Jean Syswerda). The former editorial director and vice president of Servant Publications, she was also a senior acquisitions editor at Zondervan. She lives with her two daughters in Grand Rapids, Michigan Shari Macdonald has authored numerous Christian novels, including those in the three-book Salinger Sisters series, and is the compiler of Humor for the Heart. She also contributes regularly to CCM magazine and other publications. She and her husband, photojournalist Craig Strong, live in Portland, Oregon

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	9	(1)
Preface	10	(4)
Psst...Has Anyone Seen a Table I Can Crawl Under?
Humbled by a Pine Tree	14	(3)
Stan Toler
The Almond Joy Incident	17	(4)
Cathy Lee Phillips
Icebreaker SOS	21	(2)
Sheri Rose Shepherd
A Complete Ensemble by Torry Martin as told to Martha Bolton	23	(2)
Awkward Situations	25	(3)
Becky Freeman
Ruthie Arnold
I'm Okay...You, I'm Not So Sure About
The Perfect Woman	28	(1)
Anonymous
Adam's Bargain	29	(1)
Anonymous
Read My Lips	30	(3)
Karen Scalf Linamen
Women Tell What They Want in a Man	33	(2)
Anonymous
They Need Help!	35	(3)
Thelma Wells
The Loving Spouse	38	(1)
Anonymous
Really Bad Day	39	(1)
Anonymous
Steaming in the Southwest	40	(7)
Charlene Ann Baumbich
You Can't Kid a Kid
The Revised Nonstandard Bible	47	(4)
Richard Lederer
Struck Wimpiness	51	(1)
Anonymous
Just Kidding Around	52	(7)
Various Authors
Love Tips as Explained by Kids by Anonymous	59	(4)
I'll Catch a Later Bus	63	(2)
Al Sander
``Weird'' Is a Two-Way Street
If You Could Read My Mind	65	(5)
G. Ron Darbee
Celebrity Cover-Up	70	(1)
Martha Bolton
Two Cannibals in Love	71	(3)
Charlene Ann Baumbich
For 25 Years I Hated My Mop	74	(3)
Jamice Crouse
Wild Hares	77	(3)
Ken Davis
High Adventure in the Garage	80	(3)
Charlene Ann Baumbich
Pulling Strings	83	(2)
Patsy Clairmont
Snore Warzzz	85	(3)
Nancy Kennedy
No Batteries Required	88	(3)
Karen Scalf Linamen
Keeping Up (Strange) Appearances
Beauty for the Beast	91	(2)
Marti Attoun
Nightmare on Perfect Street	93	(4)
Betty Smartt Carter
I'm Surrounded by Teens with Uncommon Scents	97	(2)
Marti Attoun
Like Death Warmed Over	99	(5)
Becky Freeman
Ruthie Arnold
Yo Quiero No Discount	104	(3)
Martha Bolton
Animal Antics: Weird Humor from the Animal Kingdom
He's Baaaaaack!	107	(1)
Ken Davis
When in Rome	108	(1)
Shari MacDonald
The Perfect Song	109	(2)
Sue Buchanan
Welcome to the Bat Cave	111	(3)
Nate Adams
The Polite Parrot	114	(2)
Anonymous
Body of Laughter
I Yam What I Yam	116	(2)
Martha Bolton
Mommyrobics	118	(3)
Nancy Kennedy
A Diet Prayer	121	(2)
Victor Buono
Counting Fat Grams	123	(6)
Chonda Pierce
Parenting, the Funniest Job of All
Lamentations of the Father	129	(4)
Ian Frazier
Deck the Halls with Poison Ivy	133	(4)
G. Ron Darbee
Surprise, Surprise!	137	(3)
Barbara Johnson
Picky, Picky	140	(2)
Nancy Kennedy
The Great Toaster Tart Conspiracy	142	(4)
Randy Frame
Real Men Do Laugh
Dental Advice	146	(2)
Mark Lowry
How to Have a Relationship with a Guy	148	(3)
Dave Barry
Airplane Babies	151	(2)
Mark Lowry
Mr. Mom	153	(5)
James R. Judge
Hey, Moms Are Fun Too!
Help! I've Got TMS!	158	(2)
Nancy Kennedy
Mama's On Hold	160	(3)
Mark Lowry
Hello	163	(2)
Patsy Clairmont
And Her Husband Though He Had a Stressful Job	165	(1)
Phil Callaway
Free at Last?	166	(4)
Pamela Shires Sneddon
Seize the Moment...for Laughter
I Dare You	170	(3)
Luci Swindoll
Did I See That?	173	(2)
Marilyn Meberg
Garth and Pat	175	(3)
Chonda Pierce
You Drive Me Crazy	178	(3)
Marilyn Meberg
Playful People	181	(3)
Marilyn Meberg
Hee, Hee, Hee...All the Way Home
Hey, Good Lookin', Whatcha Got Burnin'?	184	(3)
Becky Freeman
Young Love Turns Daughter into Teen Cleaning Machine	187	(2)
Martin Attoun
Household Skullduggery	189	(3)
Renae Bottom
Home Beautiful	192	(3)
Marsha Crockett
The Fashion Plate on My Front Yard	195	(3)
Marti Attoun
A Woman's Place Is...Laughing
PMS: Psychotic Mood Swings	198	(3)
Kathy Peel
Mixed Blessings	201	(101)
Anonymous
A Fun Day Compositing with Martha Stewart	302
Chonda Pierce
Never Underestimate the Power of an Imperfect Woman	206	(4)
Karen Scalf Linamen
That Old Sew-and-Sew	210	(4)
Marilyn Meberg
Life Is Unpredictable, but God Is Good
God's Timing	214	(1)
Brennan Manning
I Could Lose Myself in Thought, but Then Again, It's Such Unfamiliar Territory	215	(2)
Sue Buchanan
What's in a Name?	217	(4)
Thelma Wells
And Edith with Them	221	(2)
Barbara Johnson
Missing in Action	223	(2)
Patsy Clairmont
A Mirror Image	225	(3)
Marilyn Meberg
Is It Love...or Is It the Flu?	228	(3)
Sheila Walsh
I'm Alive!	231	(2)
Charlene Ann Baumbich
Notes	233

Excerpts

Don’t Stop Laughing Now!
Copyright © 2002 by Ann Spangler
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Don’t stop laughing now! : stories to tickle your funny bone and strengthen your
faith / compiled by Ann Spangler and Shari MacDonald.
p. cm.
ISBN-10: 0-310-23996-6
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-23996-3
1. Religion — Humor. 2. Conduct of life — Humor. I. Spangler, Ann.
II. MacDonald, Shari
PN6231 .R4 H45 2001
818 ’.60208 — dc21 2001005381
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New
International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture references marked lb are from the Living Bible, copyright © 1971. Used by permission
of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy,
recording, or any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior
permission of the publisher.
Interior design by Michelle Espinoza
Printed in the United States of America
We want to hear from you. Please send your comments about this
book to us in care of [e-mail]. Thank you.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
— Lily Tomlin
I try to take one day at a time,
but sometimes several days attack me at once.
— Jennifer Unlimited
If you can’t be a good example,
then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
— Catherine Aird
Inevitably, the funniest stories are usually the ones we tell on ourselves.
Sometimes these stories are downright embarrassing. But
once we put away our punctured pride and dust off our damaged
dignity, they can become an endless source of amusement. The ability
to laugh at ourselves is surely a sign that all is well with our souls.
Psst . . . Has Anyone Seen
a Table I Can Crawl Under?

Humbled by a Pine Tree
Stan Toler
Many years ago, I was privileged to serve as the first pastoral
staff member of John Maxwell at Faith Memorial Church in
Lancaster, Ohio. John, a noted author, lecturer, and former senior
pastor of the Skyline Wesleyan Church, has been my mentor for
more than twenty years. He has guided me in matters of leadership,
preaching, evangelism, and church growth. And from time to time,
John, who is an excellent golfer, has felt the need to mentor me in
the great game of golf.
On one rainy fall day many years ago in Lancaster, I was working
on a project when the intercom buzzer sounded. “Toler,” the
booming voice of Maxwell said, “let’s play 18!”
What a welcome diversion! I thought to myself. In a matter of minutes,
we loaded our golf clubs into John’s 1972 Ford Pinto and hurried
to the nearby Carrollwood golf course. Since it was raining
steadily, the course was not crowded and we were able to tee off
immediately.
For the first five holes, it appeared that the Maxwell Mentoring
Course on golf was working. “What a great game — thanks for asking
me to come along,” I said to John.
As we approached the sixth tee box, I courageously asked John
to loan me his three-wood. He was proud of his new clubs and most
willing to share them with his prized pupil. I stepped up to the tee
box and took a practice swing. Feeling ready, I swung mightily at
the little white ball.
To this day, I don’t remember whether I actually hit that ball, but
what I do remember is the club slipping out of my hands and sailing
twenty feet into the air. Embarrassing? You bet! And if that wasn’t
humbling enough, the three-wood landed in a pine tree. Maxwell
was in a state of utter disbelief.
“You just threw my new club into a tree!” he cried. “How on
earth are we going to get it down?”
Mustering all the confidence I had, I said, “Give me your shoe.”
Obediently, John sat down on the cart and handed me his golf shoe.
I carefully aimed his shoe at the club and gave it a mighty heave,
expecting it to knock the club out of the pine tree. To my dismay, his
shoe got stuck in the same tree.
Undaunted, I said, “Give me your other shoe.” Again, without
arguing, John handed his other shoe to me. Taking better aim, I
tossed his shoe at the club, and missed again! Can you believe it?
The second shoe stayed in the tree also.
As the drizzle started to become a downpour, Maxwell stood
up and said, “Toler, you big dummy! No, wait a minute — I’m the
dummy! Stan, give me your shoe!”
In a spirit of cooperation — and fear — I took off my shoe and
handed it to him. And why not? He had a three-wood and two golf
shoes in that pine tree. Taking careful aim, he threw my shoe at the
club. Up it went, approximately eighteen feet in the air, and missed
everything. Feeling more confident, I picked up my shoe and tossed
it at the club. It missed the club, but as it fell downward, it knocked
one of John’s shoes loose. In the process, however, my shoe got stuck
in the tree. John immediately grabbed his shoe that had fallen to the
ground and clutched it defensively. Now neither of us had a complete
pair of shoes, and still the golf club was stuck in the tree.
By this time, several other golfers had passed the sixth tee,
observing this Laurel and Hardy comedy routine. Remarkably,
most did not speak or offer to help us. (Can you blame them?)
When every effort had failed in retrieving the golf club, my
esteemed friend finally climbed the huge pine tree and personally
retrieved the club and our shoes. At that point, it began to thunder,
and the rain was coming down even harder. The only thing left to do
was quit for the day and go to the clubhouse for hot chocolate.
Feeling embarrassed and helpless, we drove rapidly across the
course to the clubhouse. As John opened the door, the room became
silent. And that’s when paranoia instantly gripped us. Sure enough,
the other golfers had told on us! As we stood in the doorway, laughter
erupted like you’ve never heard.
We shut the door, turned right around, and went straight home.
And believe me, it was a long time before we played golf there again.

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Excerpted from Don't Stop Laughing Now!: Stories to Tickle Your Funny Bone and Strengthen Your Faith by Spangler
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.