The D-Word: Talking about Dying A Guide for Relatives, Friends and Carers

by Brayne, Sue

• ISBN13: 9781441186799
• ISBN10: 1441186794
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-03-22
• Publisher: Bloomsbury Academic

Summary

The D-Word offers practical guidance and support for anyone who feels awkward, embarrassed or afraid of talking about death and dying.

Author Biography

Sue Brayne originally trained as a nurse and has an MA in the Rhetoric and Rituals of Death. She is an Accredited Psychotherapist and provides D-Word workshops for relatives, friends and carers. The D-Word website, www.d-word.co.uk has been launched alongside this book, to provide support and help to those facing the death of a close relative or friend.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements	p. viii
Talking about the D-Word	p. ix
Welcome to the D-Word	p. xi
Personal stories	p. xii
Structure	p. xiii
A Personal Note	p. xv
Denial of the D-Word	p. 1
Spiritual values	p. 2
An entitlement to life	p. 3
The effect on the natural world	p. 3
Days Gone By	p. 7
The medieval Ars Moriendi	p. 10
From home to hospital	p. 11
The media	p. 15
Dying from a Medical Perspective	p. 19
The GP: the first port of call	p. 23
The intensive care anaesthetist: difficult end-of-life decisions	p. 26
The palliative medicine consultant: clear communication	p. 31
The palliative care clinical nurse specialist: planning the best place in which to die	p. 34
The hospice nurse: the importance of listening	p. 38
The care-home carer: importance of acting normally	p. 42
Faith May Help	p. 49
The Bishop: the Easter story	p. 53
The Muslim chaplain: testament of faith	p. 56
The Rabbi: a ritual path	p. 59
The Buddhist: the importance of community	p. 61
The Hindu: karma and reincarnation	p. 63
Having the Conversation	p. 67
Broaching the D-Word	p. 68
When relatives are in denial	p. 68
When the dying person doesn't want to know	p. 73
When there's no resolution	p. 79
When children are not allowed to talk	p. 82
Sudden or Violent Death	p. 87
A brother's murder	p. 88
A car crash	p. 89
A sudden heart attack	p. 92
A miscarriage	p. 94
Providing appropriate support	p. 97
Coping with suicide	p. 98
Help and supprt	p. 100
Finding Support	p. 101
Speaking euphemistically…	p. 107
Not everyone experiences grief	p. 109
Breaking bad news	p. 111
Breaking bad news guidelines	p. 113
A Practical Guide to Support the Dying	p. 115
Saying goodbye	p. 118
How to listen well	p. 120
Life reviews	p. 122
The dying process	p. 123
End-of-life experiences	p. 125
Being there at the end	p. 134
What happens physically when someone dies?	p. 138
When death happens	p. 140
What you can expert to feel immediately after	p. 142
Things relatives might need to think about…	p. 143
Practicalities to consider	p. 146
Suggestions for friends	p. 149
Looking back	p. 151
Summary	p. 159
A Final Few Words…	p. 161
Appendix: What Can Be Done to Tackle the D-Word?	p. 163
Recommended Reading	p. 166
Some Helpful Contacts	p. 168
Index	p. 171
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