The Ei Advantage: Putting Emotional Intelligence into Practice

by Mcbride, Patricia

• ISBN13: 9780077098506
• ISBN10: 0077098501
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-11-01
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill

Summary

Through an interactive workbook approach, The EI Advantage examines emotional intelligence and explains how it can be applied to improve all aspects of life. Succinct and easy to read, it concentrates on four key areas -- personal competence, relationship competence, management competence, and continuing professional development -- to provide hands-on instruction for self awareness, team building, leadership, setting career goals, and more. Activities, checklists, case studies, and more help to promote personal and career development.

Table of Contents

Introduction	1	(4)
How to use this workbook	5	(4)
The emotional intelligence advantage	9	(20)
What is emotional intelligence?	9	(3)
What are the advantages of emotional intelligence?	12	(5)
What are the disadvantages of not being emotionally intelligent?	17	(1)
What are emotions for?	17	(1)
Where do emotions come from?	18	(4)
Habitual behaviour patterns	22	(1)
Why do we block emotions?	23	(1)
What happens when we block emotions?	24	(2)
Are emotional responses universal?	26	(1)
Rules for life	26	(3)
SECTION ONE Personal competence -- how we understand and manage ourselves	29	(66)
Definitions of emotions	32	(1)
The three steps to emotional intelligence	33	(2)
Sharing -- appropriate self-disclosure	35	(2)
Other forms of support	37	(1)
Identifying benefits	37	(1)
Recording progress	38	(1)
Personal competence advantage 1 Self-awareness	39	(7)
Identifying emotions	39	(2)
Recognizing emotions	41	(1)
Re-stimulation	41	(1)
History revisited	42	(1)
Positivity log	43	(1)
Your SWOT analysis	44	(1)
Treat yourself well	45	(1)
Personal competence advantage 2 Self-confidence	46	(13)
Identifying parent messages	48	(2)
Monitoring self-talk	50	(3)
Goal setting	53	(1)
Role modelling	54	(1)
Visualizing confident behaviour	55	(2)
Advertising yourself	57	(2)
Personal competence advantage 3 Integrity	59	(8)
Your values	61	(2)
Integrity scale	63	(1)
Activity log	64	(1)
Walking the talk	65	(2)
Personal competence advantage 4 Taking responsibility	67	(4)
My readiness to accept responsibility	68	(1)
`Shoulds' into `coulds' and `musts' into `wills'	69	(2)
Personal competence advantage 5 Positive beliefs	71	(5)
Identifying negative beliefs	72	(2)
Using visualization to conquer fears	74	(1)
Positive affirmations	74	(2)
Personal competence advantage 6 Dealing with negative emotions	76	(19)
Using physical reactions to recognize negative emotions	76	(1)
Recognizing negative emotions by their outcome	77	(1)
Changing a negative mood	78	(2)
Say goodbye to bitterness	80	(3)
Banishing martyrdom	83	(1)
Acknowledging your anger	84	(2)
Overcoming anger	86	(1)
The two-second pause	87	(1)
Stop sulking	87	(2)
Overcoming excessive guilt	89	(2)
Pushing guilt aside	91	(1)
Stop worrying	92	(1)
Allocate worry time	92	(1)
Beat worry by skill building	92	(1)
Using visualization to beat worry	93	(1)
Self-questioning	93	(2)
SECTION TWO Relationship competence -- how we understand and manage our relationships with others	95	(100)
Relationship competence advantage 1 Empathy skills	100	(16)
Your empathy level	101	(3)
Your emotional empathy	104	(1)
Responding with empathy	105	(2)
Seeing another's perspective	107	(2)
Loss and bereavement	109	(4)
Empathy and body language	113	(1)
Reflecting feelings	113	(2)
Recognising feeling messages from others	115	(1)
Relationship competence advantage 2 Effective listening	116	(16)
Barriers to effective listening	117	(2)
Recognizing prejudice	119	(2)
Overcoming prejudice	121	(1)
Listening to the opposite sex	122	(2)
Overcoming distractions	124	(1)
Active listening skills	125	(1)
Separating viewpoints	126	(1)
Rewording skills	127	(2)
Summarizing	129	(1)
Checking progress	130	(2)
Relationship competence advantage 3 Questioning skills	132	(8)
Identifying question types	136	(1)
Designing effective questions	137	(2)
Practising question types	139	(1)
Conversations overheard	139	(1)
Relationship competence advantage 4 Rapport skills	140	(11)
Making small talk	144	(1)
Discovering values	145	(1)
Matching body language	146	(1)
Using matching to calm down others	147	(1)
Checking assumptions	148	(1)
Observing a role model	149	(1)
Asking for forgiveness	149	(2)
Relationship competence advantage 5 Control and trust	151	(6)
Stop being controlling	152	(2)
Coping with a controlling partner	154	(2)
Start trusting others	156	(1)
Relationship competence advantage 6 Assertiveness	157	(28)
Assertiveness rating	157	(6)
Asking for what we want	163	(1)
Assertiveness scale	164	(2)
Your unmet needs	166	(1)
Broken record technique	167	(1)
Understanding body language	168	(4)
Your body language	172	(1)
Responding to criticism confidently	172	(2)
Assertive statements for use in receiving criticism	174	(2)
Assertive statements for use in giving criticism	176	(3)
Using choice	179	(1)
Assertive letter	180	(2)
Saying no	182	(3)
Relationship competence advantage 7 Conflict management	185	(10)
Negotiation skills	187	(2)
Conflict skills practice	189	(1)
Accepting responsibility	189	(1)
Own your feelings	190	(2)
Summary exercise	192	(3)
SECTION THREE Leadership competence -- how to be an inspiring leader	195	(66)
Six leadership styles	198	(1)
Seven characteristics of emotionally intelligent leaders	198	(2)
Your leadership style questionnaire	200	(2)
Leadership competence advantage 1 Authoritative leadership style	202	(12)
Defining the vision	202	(1)
Inspiring others	203	(3)
Increasing creativity and flexibility	206	(3)
Develop your own creativity, flexibility and risk-taking skills	209	(1)
Managing change	210	(2)
Establishing standards	212	(2)
Leadership competence advantage 2 Affiliative leadership style	214	(7)
Positive feedback	215	(1)
Strokes and motivation	215	(2)
Strokes and knowledge of staff	217	(1)
Praise and acknowledgement	218	(1)
Motivation: pleasure and pain	219	(2)
Leadership competence advantage 3 Coercive leadership style	221	(14)
Bullying	221	(3)
Developing a no-blame culture	224	(3)
Encouraging feedback in the workplace	227	(1)
Words that wind people up!	228	(1)
Learning from feedback	229	(3)
Being an inclusive leader	232	(3)
Leadership competence advantage 4 Pace-setting leadership style	235	(6)
Feedback for improved quality	235	(4)
Relaxation techniques	239	(1)
Words that wound, sounds that soothe	240	(1)
Leadership competence advantage 5 Democratic leadership style	241	(13)
Effective decision-making	242	(1)
Clear boundaries	243	(2)
Asserting your leadership	245	(1)
Delegation	246	(3)
Dealing with difficult people	249	(3)
How to get people to listen to you	252	(2)
Leadership competence advantage 6 Coaching leadership style	254	(7)
Coaching practical skills	254	(3)
Coaching El skills	257	(2)
What kind of leader are you now?	259	(2)
SECTION FOUR Future competence -- understanding and managing continuous personal development	261	(42)
Emotional intelligence achievement record	264	(1)
Emotional intelligence wheel	265	(2)
Future competence advantage 1 Lifestyle appraisal	267	(10)
Relationship balance	267	(2)
Life goals	269	(1)
Wants and not wants	270	(2)
SMART goals	272	(1)
Future goals	273	(1)
Personal aspirations	274	(1)
Work/life balance	275	(2)
Future competence advantage 2 Motivation	277	(8)
Positive motivation	279	(1)
Personal motivators	280	(1)
Personal demotivators	281	(2)
Techniques to get you up and running	283	(2)
Future competence advantage 3 Inner dialogue	285	(2)
Improving inner dialogue	285	(2)
Future competence advantage 4 Visualization	287	(5)
Self-energize	288	(1)
The magic wand	288	(2)
Future competence consolidation questionnaire	290	(2)
Future competence advantage 5 Networking	292	(5)
Current networks	292	(1)
Range of networks	293	(2)
Networking grid	295	(1)
Networking advantages	295	(2)
Future competence advantage 6 Career development	297	(6)
Personal commitment	297	(1)
Identify personal learning and development needs	298	(1)
Career development pathway	299	(2)
Celebrating success	301	(2)
Recommended reading	303	(3)
Answers to activities	306	(1)
Index	307	(3)
The El Advantage workshops	310