Emotional Alchemy : How the Mind Can Heal the Heart

by Tara Bennett-Goleman; foreward by the Dalai Lama

• ISBN13: 9780609607527
• ISBN10: 0609607529
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2001-01-01
• Publisher: Harmony

Summary

Alchemists sought to transform lead into gold. In the same way, says Tara Bennett-Goleman, we all have the natural ability to turn our moments of confusion or emotional pain into insightful clarity. Emotional Alchemymaps the mind and shows how, according to recent advances in cognitive therapy, most of what troubles us falls into ten basic emotional patterns, including fear of abandonment, social exclusion (the feeling we don't belong), and vulnerability (the feeling that some catastrophe will occur). Through the simple practice of mindfulness taught in this book, we can free ourselves of such patterns and replace them with empathy for ourselves and others, as well as the freedom to be more creative and alive. You'll find the very latest research in neuroscience--including the neurological "magic quarter second," during which it is possible for a thought to be "caught" before it turns into an emotional reaction. And you'll discover the fascinating parallels of this science with the wisdom of ancient Buddhism--for Buddhists knew centuries ago that we can end our self-destructive habits. This remarkable book also teaches the practice of mindfulness, an awareness that lets us see things as they truly are without distortion or judgment, giving the most insightful explanation of how mindfulness can change not only our lives, but the very structure of our brains. Here is a beautifully rendered work full of Buddhist wisdom and stories of how people have used mindfulness to conquer their self-defeating habits. The result is a whole new way of approaching our relationships, work, and internal lives.

Author Biography

TARA BENNETT-GOLEMAN, a psychotherapist and teacher, has been offering workshops on the synthesis of Buddhism and psychotherapy for close to ten years with her husband, Daniel Goleman, author of <i>Emotional Intelligence</i>. She lives in Massachusetts.

Table of Contents

Foreword	ix
Dalai Lama
I Emotional Alchemy
An Inner Alchemy	3	(13)
A Wise Compassion	16	(10)
The Healing Qualities of Mindulness	26	(27)
A Model of the Mind	53	(12)
II Things as They Seem
Emotional Habit	65	(22)
Schemas in the Larger World	87	(15)
How Schemas Work	102	(17)
III A Mindful Therapy
The Many Uses of Mindfulness	119	(20)
Breaking the Chain	139	(14)
Changing Habits	153	(15)
Working with Emotions	168	(21)
You Don't Have to Believe Your Thoughts	189	(18)
Relationships	207	(18)
The Circle of Life	225	(16)
Stages of Healing	241	(20)
IV Spiritual Alchemy
Perceptual Shifts	261	(15)
Investigating the Mind	276	(15)
Reframing Suffering	291	(13)
May Confusion Dawn as Wisdom	304	(19)
Guide to Resources	323	(1)
Notes	324	(4)
Acknowledgments	328	(3)
Index	331

Excerpts

From Chapter One

From the window of my London hotel room Big Ben displays itself, a prominent, elegant presence amid the vista of river, billowing clouds, and spreading jumble of skyline. Big Ben has a grandeur as a piece of architecture, but I find my eye drawn more to the broad, open expanse of sky and river.

The panorama above and below Big Ben's rounded bluntness includes a resplendence of steeples and bridges that occupy the central view from my window. I notice how my mind, at first glance, takes in the spaciousness of the cloud-filled sky and the soothing expanse of the river below like a regal oil painting by some turn-of-the-century landscape artist, or like a postcard-perfect snapshot.

But as I gaze more carefully, with a sustained attention, I notice that the still snapshot-like rendering of this scene dissolves into a whirl of constant motion, a continuing series of tiny movements that add up to a vastly altered picture. There are tiny successive changes in the shape of clouds as they glide across the sky, sometimes opening up patches of sky through which rays of sunlight spill along the landscape, illuminating shadows into patches of light. There's the translucent shine of buildings and roads and bright red buses as they momentarily bathe in the glow. The scene before me shimmers with kinetic energy.

And so it is with our inner landscapes. This shift in my perception mirrors how the mind works: the tendency to assume it has got the whole picture on first glance, to rush on without a closer look, and the sometimes startling fact that if one continues to look more carefully, there is always more to be discovered beyond those initial assumptions. Too often we take our first impressions, the conclusions from a first hasty glance, as the lasting truth of the moment. But if we keep looking and noticing, we become aware of greater detail and nuance, of changes and second thoughts, and much more. We can see things more as they actually are, rather than as they appear to be. We can bring a more precise understanding to the moment.

If we sustain our gaze within, sometimes our probe may detect pain behind the masks we wear. But if we continue to look, we can see how the patterns of pain hold that very mask in place, and as we investigate further we see even these patterns shift and rearrange themselves. We see how our reactions to our emotions can keep us at a distance from ourselves. And if we sustain our focus, allowing ourselves to open more honestly, our awareness penetrates further, unraveling and dissolving, peeling away the layers as we look still further. We begin to connect with more genuine parts of ourselves, at first in glimpses. Then, as we sustain our gaze, we connect with a source that breathes awareness into every layer of our being.

This book is about seeing ourselves as we genuinely are, not as we seem on first glance as viewed through the filters of our habitual assumptions and emotional patterns. We will explore how through the practice of mindfulness--a method for training the mind to expand the scope of awareness while refining its precision--we can reach beyond the limiting ways we see ourselves. We will see how to disengage from the emotional habits that undermine our lives and our relationships. We will discover how a precise mindfulness can investigate these emotional habits, bringing an insightful clarity to distinguish between the seeming and the actual.

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Excerpted from Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart by Tara Bennett-Goleman
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.