Emotional Vampires : Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

by Bernstein, Albert J.

• ISBN13: 9780071372671
• ISBN10: 0071372679
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-06-01
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill

Summary

"Bernstein provides a field guide to the various types of Emotional Vampires and advises readers how to protect themselves from being victims of these predatory personalities."­­Boston Globe From bestselling author Albert J. Bernstein The author of Dinosaur Brains offers protection from people who seek to destroy the emotional and psychological well-being of others. Like the fabled demons, these vampires: Think their needs are more important than yours Believe "the rules" apply only to other people Use their tempers in the same way terrorists use bombs Emotional Vampires tells readers how to spot a "vampire" in their lives, which defense strategies to employ to prevent one from striking, and what to do if and when they find themselves under attack.

Author Biography

Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D., is clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	xi
Children of the Night	1	(10)
Are They Really Vampires?	3	(1)
Antisocial Vampires	4	(1)
Histrionic Vampires	5	(1)
Narcissistic Vampires	6	(1)
Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires	7	(1)
Paranoid Vampires	8	(3)
Maturity and Mental Health	11	(6)
What Causes People to Become Emotional Vampires?	13	(1)
Immaturity versus Evil	13	(1)
The Everybody and Nobody Rule	14	(1)
What If You See Yourself?	14	(3)
The Way of Vampires	17	(6)
Vampires Are Different	17	(2)
Vampires Prey on Humans	19	(1)
Vampires Can Change Their Shapes	19	(1)
Vampires Can't See Themselves in a Mirror	20	(1)
Vampires Are More Powerful in the Dark	20	(1)
A Vampire's Bite Can Turn You into a Vampire	20	(1)
Protecting Yourself from Vampires	20	(3)
Dark Powers	23	(10)
The Structure of Magic	24	(2)
Recognizing Hypnosis When You See It	26	(1)
The Danger Signs of Hypnosis	27	(2)
Hypnosis and Seduction	29	(1)
What to Do If You Discover You've Been Hypnotized	30	(3)
Part 1 The Antisocial Types: Lovable Rogues	33	(54)
The Ferrari-Toyota Dilemma	35	(1)
How to Recognize an Antisocial Vampire	36	(5)
The Antisocial Emotional Vampire Checklist: Listening to the Call of the Wild	37	(4)
Vampire Daredevils	41	(12)
The Physiology of Excitement	41	(1)
Daredevil Hypnosis	42	(2)
How Vampires Keep You Coming Back for More	44	(9)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Resisting the Forbidden Fruit	47	(6)
Vampire Used Car Salesmen	53	(16)
Used Car Hypnosis	55	(7)
Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?	62	(1)
How Do You Tell If Somebody Is Lying?	62	(7)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Protect Yourself from Predators in Polyester	63	(6)
Vampire Bullies	69	(18)
The Instinct for Aggression	69	(2)
Vampire Bully Hypnosis	71	(1)
What to Do About Bullies	71	(2)
How to Do the Unexpected	73	(14)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Don't Let Vampires Kick Sand in Your Face	77	(7)
Therapy for Antisocial Vampires	84	(3)
Part 2 The Histrionic Types: Show Business, Vampire Style	87	(42)
What's It Like to Be Histrionic	89	(1)
The Histrionic Dilemma	90	(5)
The Histrionic Vampire Checklist: Living a Soap Opera	90	(5)
Vampires Who Ham It Up	95	(14)
Ham-it-up Hynosis	97	(2)
Writing a Safe Role for Yourself	99	(1)
Illness as Theater	100	(1)
Histrionic Vampires and Motivation	100	(9)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: How to Keep from Joining the Cast	103	(6)
Passive-Aggressive Vampires	109	(20)
Giving Until It Hurts	113	(1)
Illness as Metaphor	114	(1)
Passive-Aggressive Hypnosis	115	(1)
Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Relationships	115	(1)
The High Self-Esteem Syndrome	116	(13)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Enduring the Terrible Meek	117	(9)
Therapy for Histrionic Vampires	126	(3)
Part 3 The Narcissistic Types: Big Egos, Small Everywhere Else	129	(50)
What It's Like to Be Narcissistic	131	(1)
The Narcissistic Dilemma	131	(1)
Narcissism and Self-Esteem	132	(7)
The Narcissistic Vampire Checklist: Identifying the Smartest, Most Talented, All-Around Best Person in the World	133	(6)
Vampires Who Are Legends in Their Own Minds	139	(16)
How Narcissistic Legends Prevent Themselves from Succeeding	142	(1)
Narcissistic Legend Hypnosis	143	(3)
Another Narcissistic Dilemma	146	(1)
How to Socialize Narcissistic Legends	147	(8)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Getting Geniuses to Do Something Useful for a Change	148	(7)
Vampire Superstars	155	(24)
Dealing with Superstars' Insatiable Needs	156	(3)
Special People Expect Special Treatment	159	(1)
Who Cares What the Little People Think!	160	(1)
Superstar Hypnosis	161	(1)
Superstar Sex	162	(2)
The Plot to Change Superstars' Style	164	(1)
Superstar Depression and Anger	165	(14)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: How to Stop Being Treated Like a Groupie	168	(8)
Therapy for Narcissistic Vampires	176	(3)
Part 4 The Obessive-Compulsive Types: Too Much of a Good Thing	179	(28)
What It's Like to Be Obsessive-Compulsive	181	(1)
How Much Is Too Much?	181	(1)
Punishment, Where Good and Evil Meet	182	(5)
The Obsessive-Compulsive Vampire Checklist: Vice Masquerading as Virtue	183	(4)
Vampire Perfectionists and Puritans	187	(20)
Why Do They Always Seem Angry?	188	(1)
Obsessive-Compulsive Hypnosis	188	(1)
Product versus Process	189	(1)
Demanding Priorities	190	(1)
Perfectionists	191	(2)
How the Imperfect Can Deal with Perfectionists	193	(1)
Puritans	194	(1)
Why Are Puritans So Mean?	195	(1)
Dealing with Puritans without Getting Burned	196	(11)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: What to Do When the Good Guys Are After You	199	(5)
Therapy for Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires	204	(3)
Part 5 The Paranoid Types: Seeing Things That Others Can't	207	(26)
Paranoid Purity	209	(1)
What It's Like to Be Paranoid	210	(1)
The Narcissist-Paranoid Dilemma	211	(4)
The Paranoid Emotional Vampire Checklist: Next Stop, the Twilight Zone	211	(4)
Vampire Visionaries and Green-Eyed Monsters	215	(18)
The Paranoid Quest	215	(1)
Paranoid Hypnosis	216	(1)
Visionaries	217	(1)
How to Recognize Crazy Ideas	218	(3)
Paranoids and Religion	221	(1)
Green-Eyed Monsters	221	(12)
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: How to Give Paranoids a Glimpse of Reality	225	(5)
Therapy for Paranoid Vampires	230	(3)
Sunrise at Carfax Abbey	233	(2)
Index	235