Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition

by Bernstein, Albert

• ISBN13: 9780071790956
• ISBN10: 0071790950
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2012-06-15
• Publisher: McGraw Hill

Summary

Protect yourself from people who take undue advantage and suck the energy out of your life Emotional Vampireswill help you cope effectively with the people in your life that confound you, confuse you, and seem to sap every ounce of your energy. Bestselling author Dr. Al Bernstein shows you how to recognize each vampire type--antisocial, histrionic, narcissists, obsessive-compulsives, paranoids--and deal with them effectively. He uses many examples from the latest news headlines, which will help you distinguish between the types and deepen your understanding of each one. In response to the daily calls and emails he got about the previous edition of this book, Dr. Al Bernstein has added his advice for dealing with those emotional vampires who come in the shape of spouses and lovers, relatives, and children. Dr. Bernstein shows you how to deal with each vampire type and what you need to do to keep from getting drained.

Author Biography

Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, bestselling author and Emotional Vampire-slayer, reveals the secrets that will protect you from these creatures of darkness. Detailing a whole range of disordered personality types, Bernstein shows you how to spot the Vampires in your life and equips you with a range of defense strategies that are guaranteed to keep the blood-suckers from draining you dry. Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D., is the bestselling author of Dinosaur Brains Neanderthals at Work, and Sacred Bull. He is a clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. xi
Children of the Night	p. 1
Who Are These Emotional Vampires?
Are They Really Vampires?	p. 2
Antisocial Vampires	p. 4
Histrionic Vampires	p. 5
Narcissistic Vampires	p. 5
Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires	p. 6
Paranoid Vampires	p. 7
Maturity and Mental Health	p. 9
If Emotional Vampires Are Children, What Does It Take to Be a Grown-Up?
What Causes People to Become Emotional Vampires?	p. 11
Immaturity Versus Evil	p. 11
The Everybody and Nobody Rule	p. 12
What If You See Yourself?	p. 12
The Way of Vampires	p. 15
How Emotional Vampires Are Different from and More Dangerous than Other Annoying People
Vampires Are Different	p. 16
Vampires Prey on Humans	p. 17
Vampires Can't See Themselves in a Mirror	p. 19
Vampires Are More Powerful in the Dark	p. 20
Protecting Yourself from Vampires	p. 20
Lovable Rogues	p. 21
The Antisocial Types
The Ferrari-Toyota Dilemma	p. 22
How to Recognize an Antisocial Vampire	p. 23
The Antisocial Emotional Vampire Checklist: Listening to the Call of the Wild	p. 24
What the Questions Measure	p. 25
Vampire Daredevils	p. 27
Sexy, Thrilling, and Definitely Bad for Your Health
The Physiology of Excitement	p. 27
Daredevil Hypnosis	p. 28
Female Daredevils	p. 29
How Vampires Keep You Coming Back for More	p. 30
10 Ways to Protect Yourself from Daredevils	p. 31
Daredevils in Your Life	p. 39
Daredevil Lovers and Spouses
The Action Hero	p. 39
The Liar	p. 42
The Unfaithful Lover	p. 43
Daredevil Ex-Husband	p. 44
Daredevil Dads	p. 47
Daredevil Adult Children	p. 50
Antisocial Used Car Salesmen	p. 53
Slicker than Cheap Polyester, So Always Remember to Read the Fine Print
Used Car Hypnosis	p. 55
Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?	p. 61
Vampire Bullies	p. 63
Big, Scary, Powerful, and Stupid as the Guys Who Used to Take Lunch Money
The Instinct for Aggression	p. 63
Vampire Bully Hypnosis	p. 65
What to Do About Bullies	p. 65
How to Do the Unexpected	p. 67
Antisocial Used Car Salesmen and Bullies in Your Life	p. 75
Living with a Liar	p. 75
Bullies in Your Life	p. 80
Living in a Minefield	p. 80
Therapy for Antisocial Vampires	p. 89
The Goal	p. 89
Anger Control Treatment	p. 90
Treatment for Addiction	p. 90
Self-Help	p. 91
What Will Hurt	p. 92
Show Business, Vampire Style	p. 93
The Histrionic Types
What It's Like to Be Histrionic	p. 94
The Histrionic Dilemma	p. 95
What the Questions Measure	p. 95
The Histrionic Vampire Checklist: Living a Soap Opera	p. 96
How to Protect Yourself from Histrionic Vampires	p. 99
Vampires Who Ham It Up	p. 101
Whether It's Sex, Sickness, or Secrets of Success, There's Only One Show Business
Ham-It-Up Hypnosis	p. 103
Writing a Safe Role for Yourself	p. 105
Illness as Theater	p. 105
Celebrities, Fans, and Wannabes	p. 106
Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Histrionic Hams	p. 106
Passive-Aggressive Vampires	p. 111
Deliver Us from Ghoulies and Ghosties and People Who Are Only Trying to Help
Giving Until It Hurts	p. 115
Illness as Communication	p. 115
Passive-Aggressive Hypnosis	p. 120
The High-Self-Esteem Syndrome	p. 120
Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Passive-Aggressive Histrionics	p. 121
Histrionics in Your Life	p. 127
Histrionic Martial Arts	p. 127
My Mother, the Drama Queen	p. 128
The Queen of Gossip	p. 129
Your Depressed Sister	p. 130
Male Histrionics	p. 134
Therapy for Histrionic Vampires	p. 137
The Goal	p. 137
Professional Help	p. 138
Self-Help	p. 138
What Will Hurt	p. 140
Big Egos, Small Everywhere Else	p. 141
The Narcissistic Types
What It's Like to Be Narcissistic	p. 142
The Narcissistic Dilemma	p. 143
Narcissism and Self-Esteem	p. 144
What the Questions Measure	p. 144
The Narcissistic Vampire Checklist: Identifying the Self-Styled Smartest, Most Talented, All-Around Best People in the World	p. 145
Vampires Who Are Legends in Their Own Minds	p. 151
With Talent Like Theirs, Who Needs Performance?
How Narcissistic Legends Prevent Themselves from Succeeding	p. 153
Narcissistic Legend Hypnosis	p. 155
How to Socialize Narcissistic Legends	p. 158
Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Legends in Their Own Minds	p. 159
Vampire Superstars	p. 165
You've Got to Love These Guys! Worship Them, Actually
Dealing with Superstars' Insatiable Needs	p. 166
Superstar Hypnosis	p. 169
Sex and the Superstar	p. 169
Superstar Depression and Anger	p. 171
Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Superstars	p. 173
Narcissists in Your Life	p. 179
Pundits from Hell	p. 180
Tiger Mom	p. 182
Season's Greetings from the Narcissist in Your Life	p. 184
Therapy for Narcissistic Vampires	p. 187
The Goal	p. 187
Professional Help	p. 187
Self-Help	p. 187
What Will Hurt	p. 189
Too Much of a Good Thing	p. 191
The Obsessive-Compulsive Types
What It's Like to Be Obsessive-Compulsive	p. 192
How Much Is Too Much?	p. 193
Punishment, Where Good and Evil Meet	p. 193
What the Questions Measure	p. 194
The Obsessive-Compulsive Vampire Checklist: Vice Masquerading as Virtue	p. 195
The Obsessive-Compulsive Dilemma	p. 197
Vampire Perfectionists and Puritans	p. 199
Can the Undead Be Anal-Retentive?
Why Do They Always Seem Angry?	p. 200
Obsessive-Compulsive Hypnosis	p. 200
Product Versus Process	p. 201
Demanding Priorities	p. 202
Perfectionists How the Imperfect Can Deal with Perfectionists	p. 205
Puritans	p. 206
Meet Your Inner Teenager	p. 207
Nine Ways to Protect Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsives: What to Do When the Good Guys Are After You	p. 210
Obsessive-Compulsives in Your Life	p. 215
Control Freak	p. 215
Control Freak Parents	p. 218
Married to a Control Freak	p. 218
Therapy for Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires	p. 223
The Goal	p. 223
Professional Help	p. 223
What Will Hurt	p. 225
Seeing Things That Others Can't	p. 227
The Paranoid Types
Paranoid Purity	p. 228
What It's Like to Be Paranoid	p. 229
The Paranoid Emotional Vampire Checklist: Next Stop, the Twilight Zone	p. 230
What the Questions Measure	p. 231
Vampire Visionaries and Green-Eyed Monsters	p. 235
Inspiration Always Involves Blowing Things out of Proportion
The Paranoid Quest	p. 235
Paranoid Hypnosis	p. 236
Visionaries	p. 236
How to Recognize Crazy Ideas	p. 238
Paranoids and Religion	p. 241
Green-Eyed Monsters	p. 241
The Nine Elements of Vampire-Fighting Strategy: How to Give Paranoids a Glimpse of Reality	p. 244
Therapy for Paranoid Vampires	p. 249
The Goal	p. 249
Professional Help	p. 249
Self-Help	p. 250
What Will Hurt	p. 250
Sunrise at Dracula's Castle	p. 251
Index	p. 253
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