The Ethical Slut, Second Edition

by HARDY, JANET W.HARDY, JANET W.

• ISBN13: 9781587613371
• ISBN10: 1587613379
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Trade Paper
• Copyright: 2009-03-10
• Publisher: Celestial Arts

Summary

The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable. For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms. "I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for OneReviewsPRAISE FOR THE SECOND EDITION'AuThis book is the definitive guide to having your marriage and eating other people too. The Ethical Slut made me the ethical slut I am today, and I am so proud!'Au 'AiMargaret cho, comedian and author of I'Aom the One That I Want 'AuThe Ethical Slut is one of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It'Aos chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity. An absolute masterpiece and a must-read!'Au 'AiAnnie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle'Aos Spectacular Sex 'AuMany people wish for and dream of a wider world sexually and live out their lives unable to find the courage to explore. This book is a thoughtful, practical, and loving look at that exploration.'Au 'AiDavid crosby, musician and author of Since Then'AuThe Ethical Slut, in this new and expanded edition, is the definitive guide for creating and sustaining all conscious relationships'Aipolyamorous, open, alternative, and monogamous. Don'Aot enter into another relationship without it!'Au 'AiBarbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra 'AuDossie and Janet'Aos blend of good humor and forthright honesty makes for some of the best writing I have found on sexually complicated relationships and blended family options. Engaging, disarming, forthright'Aithis is the book for those of us still brave enough to make the ethically complex choices.'Au 'AiDorothy Allison, author of Bastard Out of Carolina PRAISE FOR THE FIRST EDITION 'AuI couldn'Aot stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends.'Au 'AiBetty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One 'AuA useful guidebook for radical relationship travelers . . . experienced counsel to those on the polysexual frontier.'Au 'AiRyam Nearing, Loving More magazine 'AuA post-graduate

Author Biography

JANET W. HARDY is the author of more than 10 books and founder of Greenery Press, a San Francisco Bay Area book publisher specializing in sexually adventurous books. She swore off monogamy in 1987.THE AUTHOR SCOOP

Do you eat your vegetables?Yes, but I’d rather steal your dessert.Have any good pet stories?My dear Amy – a gigantic shaggy lab/poodle mix who went to doggie heaven last summer – is still the stuff of legend in San Francisco’s alt-sex scene. One evening, she wandered into the room during a bondage demo: a sweetie of ours was modeling a spreadeagle pose. Amy took one look at her beloved auntie and immediately flopped down next to her on her back, all four legs spread out in the identical pose, as the room dissolved in hysterics and Auntie sat up, rubbing her wrists indignantly, and sputtered, “Upstaged by a fucking dog!”Are you "six degrees of separation" away from anyone famous?Distantly related to Clement C. Moore, author of The Night Before Christmas.Do you have a scar anywhere on your body? How did you get it?A stylized elephant branded on my right calf, put there by Fakir Musafar. Elephants are large, smart and matriarchal – hence, my totem.What was your favorite birthday?Ah, this is a good one… my 35th, the year my two main squeezes at the time took a cabin at Sea Ranch for my birthday and we spent the weekend mushroom-hunting, binge-eating and fucking.Name a favorite dish that your mother used to make.“Israeli salad,” which she learned to make when she was trapshooting on the American team in the Maccabiah Games, the Jewish olympics. A chopped salad made with tomatoes, cukes, hard-boiled eggs, bell peppers, etc., and tossed with olive oil and lemon juice.What is your favorite thing about being an author?Spelunking in my own brain.


DOSSIE EASTON is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in alternative sexualities and open relationships. She is the author of four other books. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and has been an ethical slut since 1969.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. vii
Welcome
Who Is an Ethical Slut?	p. 3
Myths and Realities	p. 9
Our Beliefs	p. 20
Slut Styles	p. 27
Battling Sex Negativity	p. 41
Infinite Possibilities	p. 46
The Practice of Sluthood
Abundance	p. 56
Slut Skills	p. 63
Boundaries	p. 71
Interlude: The Unethical Slut (A Rant)	p. 78
Flirting and Cruising	p. 82
Keeping Sex Safe	p. 92
Childrearing	p. 100
Navigating Challenges
Roadmaps through Jealousy	p. 108
Interlude: Clean Love	p. 131
Embracing Conflict	p. 133
Making Agreements	p. 148
Opening an Existing Relationship	p. 160
Sluts in Love
Making Connection	p. 182
Couples	p. 190
The Single Slut	p. 205
The Ebb and Flow of Relationships	p. 218
Sex and Pleasure	p. 226
Public Sex, Group Sex, and Orgies	p. 250
Conclusion A Slut Utopia	p. 268
A Slut's Glossary	p. 272
Resource Guide	p. 277
Index	p. 281
About the Authors	p. 287
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