The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Boys: A Complete Handbook to Develop Confidence, Promote Self-Esteem, and Improve Communication

by Erwin, Cheryl L.

• ISBN13: 9781440506895
• ISBN10: 1440506892
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-12-18
• Publisher: Everything

Summary

Potty training. Violent video games. Dating! Raising a son is a wonderful adventure--but it can also be a challenge.You worry about your son's self-image, his values, his relationship with them--and with others. You want your son to succeed and grow into a capable young man, but how can you make sure that happens? This comprehensive guide shows you how to help your son:Strengthen his self-image and resist peer pressure Identify and exhibit acceptable behaviors Build friendships and relationships Succeed in school--and beyondRaising a son is no easy task. But with patience, perseverance, and this guide, you can see your son through challenging times and take pride in his successful transition from boy to man.

Author Biography

Cheryl Erwin, MA, MFT is a licensed family therapist, a popular parenting speaker and trainer, and the coauthor of numerous books about parenting, including several in the bestselling Positive Discipline series. For over fifteen years, she has counseled children, adolescents, and families at her private practice. Erwin also works with bereaved children and adolescents, children with bipolar disorder, and victims of sexual assault. She has a weekly parenting commentary on Reno's public radio station, KUNR-FM, and is the mother of a son. She lives in Reno, NV.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. xiii
It's a Boy!	p. 1
Why Does Gender Matter?	p. 1
Are Boys Different from Girls?	p. 3
Research about Boys and Girls	p. 4
Who's Easier?	p. 5
Myths about Raising Boys	p. 7
Exploring Your Own Expectations	p. 9
What Do You Want for Your Son?	p. 11
Preparing Yourself to Raise Your Son	p. 13
How Parents Affect Their Children	p. 13
Learning from Your Parents	p. 15
The Nature of Attachment	p. 16
Self-Care and Balance	p. 18
A Word about Your Relationship	p. 21
What You Will Do as a Parent	p. 23
The Basics of Parenting Your Son	p. 25
Belonging and Significance	p. 25
Why Relationships Matter to Boys	p. 27
What about Birth Order?	p. 30
Understanding the Beliefs Behind Behavior	p. 32
Kindness and Firmness	p. 35
Learning to Listen	p. 37
The Importance of Early Decisions	p. 39
The Message of Love	p. 40
Your Son's First Year	p. 41
Physical Development and Parenting	p. 41
Brain Development	p. 43
Your Son's Emotional Development	p. 47
Your Son's Cognitive Development	p. 48
What If I Think Something's Wrong?	p. 50
Temperament	p. 51
The Importance of Touch for Boys	p. 54
Do Babies Need Discipline?	p. 55
Child-Care	p. 56
Your Preschool Boy	p. 59
Creating a Safe Environment	p. 59
Language and Social Skills	p. 62
Getting into Your Son's World	p. 66
The Value of Curiosity	p. 67
Developmental Appropriateness	p. 68
The Terrible Trio	p. 70
Mealtimes, Snacks, and Other Challenges	p. 70
Nighty-Night-or Not	p. 73
The Perils of Potty Training	p. 74
Is It Too Soon for Technology?	p. 75
Discipline as Teaching	p. 77
Discipline and Long-Range Parenting	p. 77
Connection Before Correction	p. 80
Discipline Versus Punishment	p. 81
Following Through	p. 84
Encouraging Communication	p. 86
Teaching Life Skills	p. 91
Boys and Emotions	p. 93
The Myth of the Stoic Male	p. 93
The Voice of Culture	p. 94
The Purpose of Emotions	p. 95
Teaching an Emotional Vocabulary	p. 96
Learning Maturity	p. 99
Anger: The Acceptable Male Emotion	p. 101
Boys and Depression	p. 103
Keeping Your Son Connected	p. 105
Boys and Dads	p. 107
What Sons Learn from Their Fathers	p. 107
Play and Active Love	p. 111
Fathers and Empathy	p. 114
How and When to Support Mom	p. 116
Being Your Son's Role Model	p. 117
The Gift of Fatherhood	p. 119
Boys and Moms	p. 121
The Dilemma of Mothers and Sons	p. 121
What Sons Learn from Their Mothers	p. 123
Connecting with Your Son	p. 125
How Close Is Too Close?	p. 128
Mom Can Play, Too	p. 129
The Other Women	p. 131
Preparing Your Son to Learn	p. 133
Why Boys Struggle with School	p. 133
How Boys Learn	p. 136
Helping Your Son Succeed in School	p. 138
Boys and Books	p. 139
Attention Deficit Disorder	p. 142
Grades and Homework	p. 145
The Dangers of Praise	p. 147
What about Same-Sex Schools?	p. 147
Boys and Their Peers	p. 149
Development of Social Skills	p. 149
Boys and Their Friends	p. 152
Sports and Competition	p. 154
The Importance of Play	p. 157
Bullying and Aggression	p. 158
Making Room for Girls	p. 162
Supporting Your Son's Friendships	p. 163
The Adolescent Boy	p. 165
Understanding the Adolescent Brain	p. 165
Hormones, Emotions, and Anger	p. 167
The Task of Adolescence	p. 169
Setting Appropriate Limits with Your Son	p. 171
Curfew, Dating, and Driving	p. 174
Enjoying Your Son	p. 177
The Importance of Character	p. 179
Teaching Character	p. 179
Encouragement Versus Praise	p. 181
Teaching Responsibility	p. 183
Mindsight and Compassion	p. 185
Ethics: Encouraging Integrity	p. 188
Spirituality in Your Son's Life	p. 189
Supporting Resilience and Self-Reliance	p. 190
Boys and the Outside World	p. 193
The Power of Mass Media	p. 193
Taming the Television	p. 195
Boys, Media, and Violence	p. 197
Video and Computer Games	p. 199
Keeping Up with Your Kid	p. 200
Life in the Digital World	p. 201
Movies, Music, and More	p. 204
Dealing with Risky Behavior	p. 207
Adolescent Immortality	p. 207
Influencing Your Son's Behavior	p. 209
Talking to Your Son	p. 211
What about Your Past?	p. 213
Spying on Your Son	p. 214
Smoking in the Boys' Room	p. 216
Boys and Sexuality	p. 219
Gender Identity in Boys	p. 219
Teaching Your Son about Sex	p. 221
Sex in the Real World	p. 223
Becoming Sexually Active	p. 225
Is My Son Gay?	p. 227
Affection with Your Growing Son	p. 229
Coping with Real-Life Responsibilities	p. 231
Encouraging Responsibility in Your Son	p. 231
Chores and Allowance	p. 233
The Art of Managing Money	p. 236
Should Your Son Get a Job?	p. 239
Respect, Courtesy, and Manners	p. 241
Self-Reliance in Action	p. 242
Single Parents and Stepfamilies	p. 245
No More Broken Homes	p. 245
The Effect of Divorce on Boys	p. 247
Coparenting	p. 249
Life in a Single-Parent Home	p. 252
Stepfamilies That Work	p. 254
Little Men	p. 257
Getting Ready to Let Go	p. 259
Knowing When It's Time to Step Back	p. 259
Weaning	p. 260
Life Skills and Independence	p. 261
From Parent to Mentor	p. 263
When Your Son Returns Home	p. 264
The Empty Nest	p. 267
Keeping the Connection Alive	p. 269
Celebrate Your Son	p. 271
A Moment for Reflection	p. 271
Setting the Stage	p. 273
Have Faith in Your Son	p. 274
Rituals and Traditions	p. 275
Staying in Touch	p. 277
Congratulations! You Raised a Son	p. 279
Bibliography	p. 281
Additional Resources	p. 283
Index	p. 285
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