The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Boys

by Erwin, Cheryl L.

• ISBN13: 9781593375874
• ISBN10: 1593375875
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-06-30
• Publisher: Adams Media Corp

Summary

Defining manhood in today's society is hard-and it has made raising boys even harder. You're worried about his self-image, his values, his interaction with you and others at home and at school. You watch him struggle to grow into the fine young man you know he can be-and you want to help and support him. With The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Boys, you can.

Author Biography

Cheryl L. Erwin is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Reno, Nevada

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION	xiii
CHAPTER 1: It's a Boys	1	(12)
Why Does Gender Matter?	1	(2)
Are Boys Different from Girls?	3	(1)
Research about Boys and Girls	4	(1)
Who's Easier?	5	(2)
Myths about Raising Boys	7	(2)
Exploring Your Own Expectations	9	(1)
What Do You Want for Your Son?	10	(3)
CHAPTER 2: Preparing Yourself to Raise Your Son	13	(12)
How Parents Affect Their Children	13	(2)
Learning from Your Parents	15	(1)
The Nature of Attachment	16	(1)
Self-Care and Balance	17	(3)
A Word about Your Marriage	20	(2)
What You Will Do as a Parent	22	(3)
CHAPTER 3: The Basics of Parenting Your Son	25	(16)
Belonging and Significance	25	(2)
Why Relationship Matters to Boys	27	(3)
What about Birth Order?	30	(2)
Understanding the Beliefs Behind Behavior	32	(3)
Kindness and Firmness	35	(1)
Learning to Listen	36	(2)
The Message of Love	38	(3)
CHAPTER 4: Your Son's First Year	41	(16)
Physical Development and Parenting	41	(2)
Brain Development	43	(3)
Your Son's Emotional Development	46	(2)
Your Son's Cognitive Development	48	(1)
Temperament	49	(3)
The Importance of Touch for Boys	52	(1)
Do Babies Need Discipline?	53	(2)
Child Care	55	(2)
CHAPTER 5: Your Preschool Boy	57	(16)
Creating a Safe Environment	57	(3)
Language and Social Skills	60	(3)
Getting into Your Son's World	63	(1)
The Value of Curiosity	64	(1)
Developmental Appropriateness	65	(2)
The Terrible Trio	67	(2)
Nighty-Night—or Not	69	(2)
The Perils of Potty-Training	71	(2)
CHAPTER 6: Discipline as Teaching	73	(16)
Discipline and Long-Range Parenting	73	(3)
Discipline Versus Punishment	76	(3)
Following Through	79	(3)
Encouraging Communication	82	(2)
Positive Time-Out	84	(2)
Teaching Life Skills	86	(3)
CHAPTER 7: Boys and Emotions	89	(14)
The Myth of the Stoic Male	89	(1)
The Voice of Culture	90	(1)
The Purpose of Emotions	91	(1)
Teaching an Emotional Vocabulary	92	(3)
Learning Maturity	95	(1)
Anger: The Acceptable Male Emotion	96	(2)
Boys and Depression	98	(2)
Keeping Your Son Connected	100	(3)
CHAPTER 8: Boys and Dads	103	(14)
What Sons Learn from Their Fathers	103	(4)
Play and Active Love	107	(3)
Fathers and Empathy	110	(1)
How and When to Support Mom	111	(2)
Being Your Son's Role Model	113	(2)
The Gift of Fatherhood	115	(2)
CHAPTER 9: Boys and Moms	117	(12)
The Dilemma of Mothers and Sons	117	(2)
What Sons Learn from Their Mothers	119	(2)
Connecting with Your Son	121	(2)
How Close Is Too Close?	123	(2)
Mom Can Play, Too	125	(2)
The Other Women	127	(2)
CHAPTER 10: Preparing Your Son to Learn	129	(14)
Why Boys Struggle with School	129	(3)
How Boys Learn	132	(1)
Helping Your Son Succeed in School	133	(2)
Boys and Books	135	(2)
Attention Deficit Disorder	137	(3)
Grades and Homework	140	(3)
CHAPTER 11: Boys and Their Peers	143	(16)
Development of Social Skills	143	(3)
Boys and Their Friends	146	(2)
Sports and Competition	148	(3)
Bullying and Aggression	151	(4)
Making Room for Girls	155	(1)
Supporting Your Son's Friendships	156	(3)
CHAPTER 12: The Adolescent Boy	159	(14)
Understanding the Adolescent Brain	159	(2)
Hormones, Emotions, and Anger	161	(2)
The Task of Adolescence	163	(2)
Setting Appropriate Limits with Your Son	165	(3)
Curfew, Dating, and Driving	168	(3)
Enjoying Your Son	171	(2)
CHAPTER 13: The Importance of Character	173	(12)
Teaching Character	173	(2)
Encouragement Versus Praise	175	(2)
Teaching Responsibility	177	(2)
Empathy and Compassion	179	(3)
Spirituality in Your Son's Life	182	(1)
Supporting Resilience and Self-Reliance	183	(2)
CHAPTER 14: Boys and the Outside World	185	(14)
The Power of Mass Media	185	(2)
Taming the Television	187	(2)
Boys, Media, and Violence	189	(2)
Video and Computer Games	191	(1)
Keeping Up with Your Kid	192	(2)
Movies, Music, and More	194	(5)
CHAPTER 15: Dealing with Risky Behavior	199	(12)
Adolescent Immortality	199	(2)
Influencing Your Son's Behavior	201	(1)
Talking to Your Son	202	(3)
What about Your Past?	205	(1)
Spying on Your Son	206	(2)
Smoking in the Boys' Room	208	(3)
CHAPTER 16: Boys and Sexuality	211	(12)
Gender Identity in Boys	211	(2)
Teaching Your Son about Sex	213	(2)
Sex in the Real World	215	(2)
Becoming Sexually Active	217	(2)
Is My Son Gay?	219	(2)
Affection with Your Growing Son	221	(2)
CHAPTER 17: Coping with Real-Life Responsibilities	223	(14)
Encouraging Responsibility in Your Son	223	(2)
Chores and Allowance	225	(3)
The Art of Managing Money	228	(4)
Should Your Son Get a Job?	232	(1)
Respect, Courtesy, and Manners	233	(2)
Self-Reliance in Action	235	(2)
CHAPTER 18: Single Parents and Stepfamilies	237	(14)
No More Broken Homes	237	(2)
The Effect of Divorce on Boys	239	(2)
Coparenting	241	(3)
Life in a Single-Parent Home	244	(2)
Stepfamilies That Work	246	(3)
Little Men	249	(2)
CHAPTER 19: Getting Ready to Let Go	251	(12)
Knowing When It's Time to Step Back	251	(1)
Weaning	252	(1)
Life Skills and Independence	253	(2)
From Parent to Mentor	255	(2)
When Your Son Returns Home	257	(2)
The Empty Nest	259	(2)
Keeping the Connection Alive	261	(2)
CHAPTER 20: Celebrate Your Son	263	(10)
A Moment for Reflection	263	(2)
Setting the Stage	265	(1)
Have Faith in Your Son	266	(1)
Rituals and Traditions	267	(2)
Staying in Touch	269	(1)
Congratulations! You Raised a Son	270	(3)
APPENDIX A: Bibliography	273	(2)
APPENDIX B: Additional Resources	275	(2)
INDEX	277