Free Yourself From Fears with NLP Overcoming Anxiety and Living without Worry

by O'Connor, Joseph

• ISBN13: 9781857883602
• ISBN10: 1857883608
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-06-09
• Publisher: Nicholas Brealey

Summary

Free Yourself from Fears separates the irrational from the reality. Applying the power of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), one of the fastest growing areas in applied psychology today, O'Connor goes inside the mind to explore which fears are important to our safety and survival, and how to get beyond those that prevent us from leading richly satisfying and fulfilling lives.

Table of Contents

Introduction	1	(6)
PART I OUR EXPERIENCE OF FEAR	7	(54)
The Nine Laws of Fear	8	(53)
1 WHAT IS FEAR?	9	(12)
The two elements of fear	10	(5)
The NLP approach to fear	15	(2)
The physiology of fear	17	(4)
2 FEAR-FRIEND OR FOE?	21	(14)
Positive intention	22	(1)
Authentic fear	23	(1)
Unreal fear	24	(1)
Types of unreal fear	25	(5)
Social reactions to fears	30	(1)
How not to deal with fear	30	(3)
Measure your fears	33	(2)
3 LEARNING AND UNLEARNING FEAR	35	(15)
How we learn unreal fears	37	(1)
Children's fears	38	(6)
Enjoyable fear	44	(4)
Unlearning fear	48	(2)
4 THE LANGUAGE OF FEAR	50	(13)
Talking yourself into fear	50	(2)
Telling other people	52	(1)
Affirmations	52	(1)
Is fear compulsory?	53	(1)
Our relationship with fear	54	(3)
Metaphor	57	(4)
PART II UNREAL FEAR—FEAR AS FOE	61	(82)
5 FEAR IN TIME	63	(10)
The circles test	64	(1)
Unreal fear in the past	65	(4)
Fears of the future	69	(2)
Worry	71	(2)
6 COMMON FEARS THAT HOLD US HOSTAGE	73	(13)
Fear of flying	74	(2)
Fear of authority	76	(4)
Fear of success	80	(2)
Fear of dentists and doctors	82	(1)
Fear of heights	82	(1)
Fear of elevators	83	(1)
Fear of death	83	(3)
7 UNQUIET TIMES AND TURBULENT MINDS	86	(7)
Dangerous places	86	(1)
Personal safety	87	(1)
Laws and safety	87	(2)
Danger and the media	89	(1)
Social anxiety and stress	90	(3)
8 SOCIAL FEARS	93	(14)
Change	93	(1)
Time pressure	94	(2)
Appearances	96	(3)
Fear of the future	99	(2)
Information	101	(2)
Choice	103	(4)
9 THE PRESSURE TO ACHIEVE: THE PRICE OF PERFECTIONISM	107	(17)
Self-sabotage	108	(1)
Excuses	109	(1)
Other people's opinions	109	(1)
Blame	110	(3)
Beliefs	113	(2)
Failure and feedback	115	(1)
Fear of failure	116	(2)
Performance anxiety	118	(3)
Metaphors of failure	121	(3)
10 DEALING WITH CHANGE: THE UNCERTAIN FUTURE	124	(19)
Changes with no choice	125	(1)
The changes we choose	126	(1)
External and internal change	126	(1)
Tolerance of change	127	(1)
Major changes	128	(2)
Loss	130	(2)
Habits	132	(1)
Change and resources	133	(2)
Rationalization and procrastination	135	(1)
The fear cycle	136	(2)
Transition	138	(5)
PART III AUTHENTIC FEAR—FEAR AS FRIEND	143	(52)
The Nine Laws of Safety	144	(1)
11 FEAR AS A SIGN TO TAKE ACTION	145	(5)
You need authentic fear	147	(1)
The Darwin awards	148	(2)
12 How We Assess SAFETY AND RISK	150	(13)
How do you know you feel safe?	150	(1)
Assume risk or assume safety?	151	(1)
What do you need to feel safe?	152	(5)
Risk	157	(6)
13 ACTING ON FEAR: WHEN TO HEED THE WARNING	163	(10)
Warning signals	164	(1)
Denying fear	165	(1)
Predicting violence	166	(2)
Danger signals	168	(2)
The attribution error	170	(3)
14 TRUST AND INTUITION: YOUR Two GUIDES	173	(22)
Level of trust	173	(2)
Three types of trust	175	(4)
Reference experiences	179	(3)
Learning from experience	182	(3)
Intuition	185	(10)
PART IV FINDING FREEDOM—TECHNIQUES TO OVERCOME YOUR FEARS	195	(38)
15 THE VALUE BEHIND THE FEAR	197	(11)
The value under the fear	198	(1)
Self-esteem	199	(2)
The value of respect	201	(1)
Fear of looking stupid	202	(2)
Fear of commitment	204	(4)
16 DEALING WITH FEAR IN THE BODY	208	(7)
Controlling your feeling of fear	208	(1)
Controlling fear through breathing	209	(1)
Controlling fear through feeling	210	(1)
Controlling fear through relaxation	211	(4)
17 DEALING WITH FEAR IN THE MIND	215	(9)
How does this work in practice?	215	(5)
Types of resources	220	(4)
18 FREEDOM FROM SOCIAL ANXIETY	224	(4)
The Hydra of social fears	224	(1)
Beheading the Hydra	225	(2)
Life in the present moment	227	(1)
19 EMOTIONAL FREEDOM: HERE AND Now	228	(5)
Opening doors	230	(1)
Courage	230	(3)
Appendix I: Thinking about Thinking with NLP	233	(4)
Appendix II: Summary of Skills for Freedom	237	(4)
References	241	(5)
Bibliography	246	(1)
About the author	247