Get Out of Your Own Way

by Goulston, Mark (Author); Goldberg, Philip (Author)

• ISBN13: 9780399519901
• ISBN10: 0399519904
• Edition: Revised
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1996-01-01
• Publisher: Perigee Trade

Summary

Self-defeating behavior is the single most common reason that people seek psychotherapy. It is a poison, preventing us from achieving the love, success and happiness we want in our lives. And what really drives us crazy is feeling we have to change and not knowing how - or knowing how but being unable to stick with change. Get Out of Your Own Way is an antidote - it explains why we sabotage ourselves, going back to childhood origins of various behaviors. More important, it offers proven steps of action to transform behavior from self-defeating to life-enhancing.
With anecdotes and usable insights drawn from twenty years of psychiatric clinical practice, Dr. Mark Goulston shares ideas that have helped thousands of patients overcome pain, fear, and confusion - to approach life's challenges with dignity, wisdom, courage, and even humor. By encouraging you to reflect upon your behavior - and providing practical steps toward change that you can work into your everyday life - Get Out of Your Own Way shows you how to stop being your own worst enemy - and become your own best friend.

Table of Contents

10 Things You Can Learn from Self-Defeating Behavior	p. xi
Introduction: How to Beat Self-Defeat	p. xv
Chasing After Love and Approval From a Parent	p. 1
Getting Involved With the Wrong People	p. 6
Procrastinating	p. 11
Expecting Others to Understand How You Feel	p. 15
Waiting Until It's Too Late	p. 21
Getting So Angry You Make Things Worse	p. 25
Saying Yes When You Want to Say No	p. 29
Holding a Grudge	p. 33
Assuming They Don't Want Anything in Return	p. 37
Playing It Safe	p. 41
Always Having to Be Right	p. 45
Focusing on What Your Partner Is Doing Wrong	p. 49
Putting up With Broken Promises	p. 54
Trying to Make up While You're Still Angry	p. 59
Not Learning From Your Mistakes	p. 63
Trying to Change Others	p. 67
Rebelling Just for the Sake of Rebelling	p. 71
Talking When Nobody's Listening	p. 75
Pretending You're Fine When You're Not	p. 79
Becoming Obsessive or Compulsive	p. 83
Taking Things Too Personally	p. 88
Acting Too Needy	p. 92
Having Unrealistic Expectations	p. 96
Trying to Take Care of Everybody	p. 100
Refusing to "Play Games"	p. 104
Putting on an Act to Make a Good Impression	p. 108
Being Envious of Others	p. 113
Feeling Sorry for Yourself	p. 117
Assuming the Hard Way Is the Right Way	p. 122
Thinking "I'm Sorry" Is Enough	p. 126
Holding It All In	p. 130
Quitting Too Soon	p. 135
Letting Others Control Your Life	p. 139
Leaving Too Much to Chance	p. 143
Letting Fear Run Your Life	p. 148
Not Moving on After a Loss	p. 152
Not Getting Out When the Getting Is Good	p. 156
Not Asking for What You Need	p. 161
Giving Advice When They Want Something Else	p. 166
Backing Down Because You Don't Feel Ready	p. 171
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