Getting Ready for the Wedding

by Parrott, Les

• ISBN13: 9780310211488
• ISBN10: 0310211484
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1998-01-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

How do we know when we're ready for marriage? What's the secret to having a great engagement? How can we get married without drowning in debt? Where better to turn for answers than those who have gone before -- experts in the area of marriage, relationships, and finance who know from experience what it takes to make the days leading up to the wedding (and the years that follow) a success! How to Know When You're Ready for Marriage--Les & Leslie Parrot - Secrets to Having a Great Engagement--David & Claudia Arp - Getting Married Without Drowning in Debt--Ron Blue - What to Do With Wedding Jitters--Robert & Rosemary Barnes - Making Your Wedding More Than a Ceremony--David & Jan Stoop - How to Have a Great Wedding Night--Cliff & Joyce Penner - Getting Married When Your Parents Don't Approve--John Trent - How to Handle the Wedding Bell Blues--H. Norman Wright - For Those Getting Married Again--Thom Whiteman - After the Honeymoon--Les & Leslie Parrott

Table of Contents

Preface

1. How to Know When You’re Ready for Marriage

by Les and Leslie Parrott

2. Secrets of a Great Engagement

by David and Claudia Arp

3. Getting Married Without Drowning in Debt

by Ron Blue

4. What to Do with Wedding Jitters

by Robert and Rosemary Barnes

5. Enjoying the Wedding of Your Dreams

by David and Jan Stoop

6. How to Have a Great Wedding Night

by Clifford and Joyce Penner

7. Getting Married When Your Parents Don’t Approve

by John Trent

8. Preparing for a Great First Year of Marriage

by H. Norman Wright

9. For Those Getting Married Again

by Tom Whiteman

10. After the Honeymoon

by Les and Leslie Parrott

Notes

Excerpts

Preface
Leslie and I had just completed a series of marriage seminars in Singapore and were waiting in the Tokyo airport while in transit. Exhausted and groggy, I was forcing myself to stay interested in the book I was trying to read when I looked up to notice a person sitting across from me.
“I know that guy. Who is he?” I whispered to Leslie. “I know I know him.”
“We’re going to be here for the next four hours,” she replied. “Why don’t you ask him?”
“Nah, it’ll come to me.”
An hour later, it did. It was Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense who worked in the Johnson, Kennedy, and Nixon administrations—the one man, more responsible than any other, for getting the United States involved in the Vietnam War. I felt compelled to talk with him.
“I don’t mean to trouble you …,” I started in. We talked for the next half hour. It turned out that he was on a tour through Asia promoting his controversial book, In Retrospect, in which he confesses to the mistake of getting our country into a war we could never win. In the context of our conversation I asked this seventy-something man why he wrote such a self-incriminating book. He didn’t hesitate for a moment. “I wanted this generation to learn from my mistakes,” he said.
In a sense, the book you hold in your hands was written for the very same reason. When it comes to getting ready for a wedding and preparing for marriage, much can be learned from those who have gone before you. With their advantages of experience and perspective, they can show you how to avoid the mistakes others have made and help make your engagement, wedding, and marriage everything they were meant to be.
Whether you are just a few weeks away from your wedding day or standing on the brink of engagement, this book is for you. It brings together a variety of specialists who openly and honestly talk about ten critical issues for making the days that lead up to your wedding (and all the years that follow) an overwhelming success. We’ve worked with hundreds of engaged couples, and, since the release of our book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, we’ve learned that many miss out on what should be a wonderful time of celebration and anticipation because they became more engaged to a wedding than they did to each other. We’ve also learned that with a little bit of practical advice, these same couples could make their engagements a meaningful time of laying the foundation for lasting love.
So, with this in mind, we asked some of the most insightful and experienced experts to guide you through your engagement.
What to Expect from This Book
In this book, you won’t find advice on selecting the color of your bridesmaids’ dresses, choosing a caterer, or selecting wedding stationery. We’ll leave that to the bridal magazines and wedding consultants. What we won’t leave to them, however, are the more important issues that go into having a meaningful and successful engagement—the heartfelt issues that can make or break this important period in your life.
No book has ever really addressed the things that matter most for having a great engagement, but we are pleased to bring you, chapter by chapter, some of the wisest counsel you will ever find on the topic.
We begin in chapter 1 with the most fundamental question engaged couples ask: How do I know if I’m really ready for marriage? Here you will learn the most common reasons for getting married and assess your own motivations for matrimony. This chapter will bolster your confidence and lay a foundation for the chapters that follow.
Dave and Claudia Arp, in chapter 2, show you the ins and outs of how to have a great engagement. It’s not as easy as you might think, but they reveal some proven strategies for taking much of the stress out of your months of engagement.
Chapter 3 gets down to brass tacks by exploring how to get married without drowning in debt. Whether you are paying for your wedding yourself or working within somebody else’s budget, financial expert Ron Blue provides a proven strategy for keeping your wedding bills from drowning out your wedding bells.
It’s not at all uncommon for one or both of you to experience wedding jitters as the big day approaches. In fact, they’re normal. Robert and Rosemary Barnes, in chapter 4, give you a step-by-step plan for helping these jitters work for you rather than against you.
So much planning goes into the wedding day that many couples forget to enjoy it. Without the guidance of Dave and Jan Stoop’s expert advice in chapter 5, the “happiest day of your life” is in jeopardy of being one of the most stressful and pressure packed.
In chapter 6, Cliff and Joyce Penner provide a frank and honest discussion of what you need to know to have a great wedding night and a wonderful honeymoon. Whatever your sexual history, you will find this chapter brimming with wise and practical advice for getting your sex life off to a great start.
On many occasions a couple deeply in love has asked us the painful question: What do we do when our parents don’t approve? We now have an answer. Actually John Trent has an answer in chapter 7. With great care and sensitivity, he provides the tools you’ll need for resolving this situation and making a healthy decision together.
After all the hype and planning that goes into a wedding celebration, you may not be surprised by the almost inevitable post-party letdown. But many couples experience “wedding-bell blues.” In chapter 8, Norm Wright will help you recover from this common malady if and when it strikes, and help prepare you for a great first year of marriage.
Perhaps you are reading this book because you are getting married for the second time and want to do it right. We commend you. And Tom Whiteman knows firsthand that you have unique concerns. In chapter 9 he addresses these issues head-on and shows you how to resolve past pain and renew your spirit for your upcoming wedding.
After the rice is thrown, the rented tuxedos returned, the honeymoon trip completed, and the last thank-you note written, you’ll begin to set up house together. And as you unpack your belongings and put away your new dishes, we want to make sure your marriage—not just your wedding and honeymoon—is a success. So we dedicate chapter 10 to getting your marriage started on the right foot with some practical exercises and creative suggestions that will help you do just that.
With every good wish and prayer,
Les and Leslie Parrott - Center for Relationship Development - Seattle Pacific University

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Excerpted from Getting Ready for the Wedding: All You Need to Know Before You Say I Do by Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.