Happiness for Two: 75 Secrets for Finding More Joy Together

by Stoddard, Alexandra

• ISBN13: 9780061435638
• ISBN10: 0061435635
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2010-03-25
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publications

Summary

Pursuing happiness sounds easy, but with so many demands on our time and resources, it can be a challenge. So, how do we find happiness in a relationship-when there are two people who want and deserve to be happy? Help is here, from a beloved (and blissfully married) lifestyle philosopher whose books and lectures on personal contentment have helped millions and whose popular Happiness Weekends are filled with dating singles, newlyweds, and long-married couples. In brief, readable essays rich in wisdom, practical strategies, and humour, Alexandra Stoddard shows how two people can be happy together, not at each other's expense. Alexandra's essays help couples make personal happiness a priority ("Encourage each other to do something every day that will boost happiness"), connect in simple, powerful ways ("Give the gift of eye contact"), share decisions ("A home has no boss"), set family priorities ("Don't let children control you"), expand your horizons ("Encourage adventure"), be grateful for each other ("Treat each encounter as though it could be your last"), and have fun ("Live a little!"). Perfect for couples to read alone or together, Happiness for Two brims with useful ideas to help us "love and live happy."

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. XIII
An Invitation to Happiness Together	p. XV
Treat Each Encounter as Though It Could Be Your Last	p. 1
My Mantra: Love & Live Happy	p. 3
Live at Ten	p. 6
Pay Attention	p. 9
Read Some Quality Literature Regularly	p. 12
Go on Vacations Alone, Together	p. 15
Assume More Responsibility at Home	p. 17
Have 50-50 Voting Power	p. 20
Criticize with Kindness	p. 22
Encourage Each Other to Do Something Every Day That Will Boost Happiness	p. 24
No Awkward Surprises	p. 27
Together, Explore Your Spirituality	p. 30
Write Each Other's New Year's Resolutions	p. 33
Celebrate More	p. 37
Work Daily on Your Character	p. 40
Begin Each Encounter with a Smile	p. 48
Don't Let Children Control You	p. 51
Listen with a Third Ear	p. 54
It's Okay to Agree to Disagree	p. 57
Nurture Your Core Identity	p. 59
Surround Yourselves with Mutual Friends	p. 62
Don't Discuss Your Intimacy and Secrets with Others	p. 65
Be There as a Support for All Important Occasions	p. 67
A Home Has No Boss	p. 69
It Feels Good to Look Good	p. 71
When You Are Together, Be Together	p. 74
Take Care of Your Own Health	p. 76
Share Sensuous Meal Preparation	p. 79
Encourage Adventures	p. 81
Temper Your Temper	p. 84
Run Errands Together	p. 87
White Lies Are Always Dangerous	p. 89
Write Love Notes	p. 91
Give the Gift of Eye Contact	p. 94
Mess Up, Clean Up	p. 96
Offer to Help	p. 98
Establish Your Own Rituals and Traditions	p. 100
Stop Disappearing	p. 102
Keep Business and Personal Affairs in Order	p. 104
Allow Each Other Freedom for Contemplation	p. 106
When Necessary, Be the Nurse	p. 109
Bring Flowers Home	p. 111
Talk Up, Not Down	p. 114
Stop the Teasing	p. 118
Sincerely Say You're Sorry	p. 119
Encourage Each Other to Have More Fun	p. 121
Don't Move Things from Each Other's Personal Spaces	p. 124
Encourage Self-Expression	p. 126
When Treats Become Traps	p. 131
Remember Important Dates	p. 134
Women Like to Talk Things Out	p. 136
Don't Correct Each Other in Public	p. 138
Generous Compliments Lighten the Heart	p. 140
Explore Together Your Invisible Wealth	p. 143
Don't Discuss Weight	p. 147
Try Not to Interrupt	p. 149
Tit-for-Tat Is Tiresome	p. 151
Conversations Shouldn't Be Monologues	p. 153
Be More Sentimental and Indulge Each Other	p. 155
Never Pick a Fight	p. 158
Please Don't Say Something You'll Regret	p. 161
Play to Each Other's Strengths	p. 163
Set Aside Certain Times for Serious Discussions	p. 165
Control Your Tone	p. 167
Grumpiness Is Contagious	p. 169
Say "It's Okay"	p. 172
Patience, Patience	p. 174
Discover and Rediscover Each Other's Passions	p. 176
Eat as Many Meals Together as Possible	p. 179
Set Aside Times to Sit and Read Together	p. 181
Stimulate Your Curiosity	p. 184
Kindness and Diplomacy Win Hearts and Minds	p. 187
Live a Little!	p. 190
Me & You	p. 192
Your Happiness Is Up to You	p. 195
Afterword	p. 199
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Happiness for Two
75 Secrets for Finding More Joy Together

Chapter One

Treat Each Encounter as Though It Could Be Your Last

Each day should be passed as though it were our last.

Publilius Syrus

When we think of each encounter as though it could be the last, there is a poetic tenderness that perfumes the atmosphere. We're living in the post-9/11 era, with a raised consciousness about how vulnerable we are. We never know if we will ever see each other again. The wisest way to keep our love fresh is to be aware of how deeply intertwined our lives are. When we live in the heart of each moment together, if and when our lover is taken from us, we will have few regrets.

What would you do differently if this moment together were your last? Think of someone you love who has died. Do you remember the last time you were together? Do you recall what you said and did?

We should keep our relationship up-to-date, moment by moment. It doesn't matter where we are or what the circumstances are as long as we're together. Now, remind yourself, you have each other and can hold each other affectionately. This acute awareness of the fragility of our love affair should change the way we think and act. Now may be the only time we have.

From this day forward, gently enjoy the sacred bond between you. Whenever we live in this consciousness, it sparks the flames of love and intensifies our appreciation of the moment and of the shortness of life on earth.

I have found sublime happiness with Peter. I know this paradise on earth will not last forever. I'm aware at the same time that the energy of love never dies. While we have this blessing of our love for each other, we intend to treasure every moment we're privileged to be alive, in love, and together.

It is my fervent wish for you that each time you are with your lover, you will know anew how rare your happiness is, and your heart will overflow with appreciation.

When two souls in love meet and find happiness for two, this is the greatest blessing we can have bestowed upon us on this fleeting earthly journey. With all our relationships, when we understand each encounter as though it could be our last, we honor ourselves and others. See the light in your lover and others and openly express your gratitude and love.

Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other.
Joshua Loth Liebman

Happiness for Two
75 Secrets for Finding More Joy Together. Copyright © by Alexandra Stoddard. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Excerpted from Happiness for Two: 75 Secrets for Finding More Joy Together by Alexandra Stoddard
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.