Explores the origins of all types of hate--gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, culture and ethnicity, and ability differences, and explains how to deal with hate in schools, in the media, and on the Internet.

Introduction: Kids Do Experience Hate

1

(12)

Part One: Understanding Hate and Where It Comes From

From Birth to Teens: How Children Learn About Differences

13

(30)

Infants---I Distinguish Between ``Me'' and Others

15

(4)

First Discovery of ``Others''

16

(3)

Toddlers---I Explore Differences

19

(3)

First Questions About Differences

20

(2)

Three- to Five-Year-Olds---I'm Learning to Interact with Others

22

(6)

Self-worth Develops

24

(1)

Children Are Not Color-blind

25

(3)

Six- to Eight-Year-Year-Olds---I'm Myself and I'm Part of Society

28

(2)

First Conscious Contact with Hate

30

(2)

From Hate to Hope

32

(2)

Nine- to Twelve-Year-Olds---Myself, My World, My Own Values

34

(2)

Teenagers---I'm Independent, Except When I Need You

36

(5)

Cruelty May Not Be Hate

38

(3)

Conclusion

41

(2)

Some Things That Make People Different from One Another

43

(43)

Gender

44

(4)

Sexual Orientation

48

(6)

Race

54

(8)

Religion

62

(7)

Culture and Ethnicity

69

(11)

Reacting to Differences

75

(5)

Differences of Ability

80

(4)

Conclusion

84

(2)

Why Do People Hate?

86

(30)

What Is Hate and Why Do People Feel It?

89

(1)

Hating Out of Ignorance and Untrue Information

90

(6)

``Kids, Kids, Remember What I Told You....''

94

(2)

Hating Out of Fear of the Unfamiliar

96

(8)

``I Am a Member of-----. That's Why I Have to Say What I Have to Say....''

98

(5)

``I Believe I Should Speak Up....''

103

(1)

Hating Out of Hurt and Anger

104

(6)

Role Models for Overcoming Hatred

110

(5)

``Momma, Daddy Said We Shouldn't Hate''

113

(2)

Conclusion

115

(1)

What Can We Do About Hate?

116

(25)

Talking to Your Kids

121

(5)

Dialogue About Diversity

122

(4)

Ground Rules

126

(4)

Respecting Our Differences

130

(3)

Conclusion

133

(4)

Part Two: Questions About Hate/Responses to Hate

Introduction

137

(4)

Hello, World: Questions and Answers for Infants to Preschoolers

141

(6)

Watch Out, Here I Come: Questions and Answers for Three- to Five-Year-Olds

147

(7)

First Stereotypes

149

(5)

Onward and Upward: Questions and Answers for Six- to Eight-Year-Olds

154

(12)

Sample Scenarios

158

(8)

Tweens: Questions and Answers for Nine- to Twelve-Year-Olds

166

(15)

Clarifying Values

168

(2)

Ask, Don't Tell, and Other Protocols

170

(5)

Asking for Affirmation, Not Answers

175

(6)

IExist, Therefore IEmbarrass You: The Teenage Years

181

(12)

Name-calling

193

(14)

What Parents Can Do to Respond to Name-calling

202

(1)

When Your Child Uses Hurtful Names

203

(2)

When Your Child Has Been on the Receiving End of Hurtful Words

205

(2)

Joking

207

(14)

Responding to Situations You Find Offensive: A Five-step Process

213

(4)

Sexual Orientation and Disability Slurs

217

(4)

Excluding, Zooing, and Other Inappropriate Behaviors

221

(18)

Excluding

221

(14)

Explore the Expressed Reason for Exclusion

225

(1)

Responding to the Perpetrator

226

(5)

Discuss How Exclusion Feels

231

(1)

When Your Child Is the Victim

231

(4)

Zooing

235

(4)

Crimes of Hate: Physical and Emotional Violence

239

(20)

Setting the Rules on Violence

242

(6)

If Your Child Is Being Victimized

248

(6)

Ask Questions

249

(1)

Offer Help

249

(1)

Don't Keep It Secret

250

(2)

Common Questions

252

(2)

When Your Child Is the Perpetrator

254

(5)

Key Diversity Skills and Concepts

259

(14)

Basic Diversity Skills

260

(6)

Asking Questions

261

(2)

Answering Questions

263

(3)

Ten Key Concepts About Hate

266

(5)

Part Three: Challenging Hate Outside the Home

Introduction

271

(2)

Combating Hate in Schools

273

(20)

What Parents Can Do

275

(5)

What Children Can Do

280

(13)

Combating Hate in the Media --- TV, Movies, Books

293

(11)

Screening Television and Movie Messages

294

(1)

TV and Movie Questionnaire

295

(2)

Evaluating and Selecting Children's Literature

297

(7)

Combating Hate on the Internet

304

(7)

What Parents Can Do

306

(3)

What Children Can Do

309

(1)

Conclusion

310

(1)

Making a Commitment to Change

311

(8)

In Your Community

312

(3)

In Your Workplace

315

(2)

In Your House of Worship

317

(2)

Resources

319

(12)

Organizations and Web Sites

319

(3)

Selected Bibliography

322

(9)

Permissions

331

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