Healing Conversations: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say, Revised Edition

by Nance Guilmartin ( ; )

• ISBN13: 9780787966942
• ISBN10: 0787966940
• Format: eBook
• Copyright: 2002-11-01
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass

Summary

Whether it's the loss of a job, a marriage, or a life, in today's 24/7 world we're increasingly faced with uncomfortable situations where we don't know what to say yet we're called upon to quickly respond -- online or in person. We may fumble, avoid contact, or simply walk away perplexed, thinking we have done a bad job of responding to our friends, family, neighbors, clients, and co-workers. How do we pause, listen, and offer comfort in those hard moments? Filled with touching stories, this practical guide helps us step into someone else's shoes so that we can empathetically learn how to respond in times of need. The revised compact edition includes a new introduction, index and short reflections at the end of each chapter to help readers become more comfortable and effective when offering or accepting comfort in their demanding lives.

Author Biography

Nance Guilmartin is a four-time regional Emmy award-winning broadcast journalist, business advisor, and community service advocate

Table of Contents

An Invitation to Healing Conversations.

Getting Started.

Supporting others without fixing, rescuing, or judging.

When You Need a Friend.

Please, Don't Ask Me How I Am, Unless.

Beginning a healing conversation.

Using the Rule of Six Asking for help.

Just Listen After a sudden loss.

Rediscovering Empathy What comforts you may not comfort someone else.

It'll Be OK, Sugarplum Being a light at the end of the tunnel.

Mommy, Will He Be OK? Helping children face their fears and yours.

Asking One Friend to Help Another When you don't have the answers.

Unexpected Gifts Accepting help from a stranger.

Before and After the Move Emotional attics and new road maps.

It's Not What You Think The hidden hurts of bankruptcy.

Who Am I If I'm Not Who I Was? After a life-changing event.

It's Over A relationship ends.

Reflection: Tuning Out of Your Head, Tuning In to Your Heart.

Health Matters.

Test Results Getting the news or waiting to hear.

Peaceful Warrior When you want to help deal with a diagnosis.

Facing Surgery Before, during, and after.

Just How Do You Ask for Help? Making your own wish list.

Paciencia Recovering from depression.

Is the Doctor In? Making the most of your time as a patient or as a doctor.

What's the Difference Between a Cure and Healing? Living with chronic pain.

What About Me? Supporting the caregiver.

Second Sight When a disability becomes an ability.

When the Bough Breaks When you can't see their pain.

The Bear Close calls.

After the Accident Fears remain.

A Cry for Help Responding to attempted suicide.

Reflection: How to Be with Someone Who's in Pain.

Healing Conversations at Work.

You People Are Incompetent! Turning angry customers into loyal fans.

When Staff Don't Get Along The power of listening.

Trading Places Helping a colleague pause before jumping to conclusions.

You Must Be Kidding! Giving and getting difficult feedback.

Plant Closings and Pink Slips Taking away their jobs but not their dignity.

Trapezes Being laid off, fired, or acquired.

Bad News at the Office Crossing invisible boundaries.

Celebrating Life Asking a coworker for help with a family dilemma.

I Just Wanted to Let You Know I Cared Consoling an employee.

Honoring Paul Tsongas Coping with death in the workplace family.

Notes to Keep a Memory Alive A letter to the children.

Reflection: Maybe It IS My Job-Intentional Kindness.

Transitions: Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul.

We're Getting Divorced Appreciating what you may not understand.

Be a Friend, Not a Hero Helping someone deal with verbal abuse.

I Don't Want to Be a Burden Supporting the widowed spouse.

Splinters, Mice, and Little Things Learning to live alone.

Broken Hearts and Burnt Offerings When a gift offers a reservoir of care.

What Is Enough? Retirement as a way of life.

What Happens When You Show Up for Class? Lessons from an elder.

I Know Her Name Living with Alzheimer's.

The Long Goodbye When death takes its time.

He Knows He's About to Die Visiting a friend in a hospice.

Anniversaries of Loss Special dates to remember.

Reflection: Being with Their Silence-AND Yours.

Lost Loves.

Leo the Cat Putting a "four-footed angel" to sleep.

When You Don't Get the Chance to Say Goodbye Unfinished feelings.

It's a Blessing, Really When death brings relief.

Take a Friend to Lunch Writing the obituary.

Oh, Damn! Did Anybody Bring a Knife? Scattering ashes.

Best-Laid Plans When last wishes clash with the needs of the living.

When Mom Leaves A gift of poetry.

After the Funeral Appreciating behind-the-scenes responsibilities.

When a Young Child Dies A parent's bewilderment lingers.

Frail Submarines When someone chooses suicide.

When Tragedy Inspires Action Responding to a sudden death.

Grief Unburied Sorrow returns in waves.

Perhaps Is this heaven on earth?

Reflection: Sometimes There Are No Words.

In the End.

Healing Takes Time.

Appreciations.

Resources.

The Author.

Index.