The Heart of Nonviolent Communication 25 Keys to Shift From Separation to Connection

by Mattei, Stephanie Bachmann; Collier, Kristin K.

• ISBN13: 9781934336427
• ISBN10: 1934336424
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2023-04-01
• Publisher: PuddleDancer Press

Summary

Do you want to learn how to express yourself honestly and compassionately?

How to live in choice rather than submit or rebel?

These are two of the key distinctions that Marshall B. Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication, developed and taught as ways to reveal the consciousness behind his visionary practice. This book invites you into a systematic exploration of these key distinctions.

Each chapter provides real-life examples from around the world alongside contributions from brain science research and awareness of power dynamics and systemic conditioning. Key by key, chapter by chapter, you’ll collect understandings and practices that will help you see every action and relationship anew. Nonviolent Communication is often introduced as a model with four components—observation, feeling, need, and request.

At its heart, lies a reverence for life based on awareness of power-with, interdependence, and wholeness. With this consciousness, Nonviolent Communication reaches beyond interpersonal conversations into the realms of spirituality, social change, and life-serving community.

Use this book as your key to moving towards the spirit of true connection.

Author Biography

Stephanie Bachmann Mattei is a certified trainer and assessor with the Center for Nonviolent Communication, an affiliated teacher with the Right Use of PowerTM Institute, and a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction teacher with the Center for Mindfulness at the University of California, San Diego. She holds a research degree in philosophy from the Universita’ Degli Studi di Firenze, Italy. She wrote her dissertation on the sixfold system of Indian philosophy while living in ashram under Swami Yogamudrananda Saraswati. Kristin K. Collier graduated from the University of Oregon with a bachelor’s degree in English. She has published poems, articles, and essays online and in magazines such as The Sun. Kristin’s 2016 memoir, Housewife: Home-Remaking in a Transgender Marriage, won several awards, including a prestigious Nautilus award. She and her parenting partner, Seda Collier, have been featured on NPR’s Snap Judgment. Kristin has been developing and sharing her practice of Nonviolent Communication since 2004, with a special interest in parenting. She is a teacher and administrator for social groups.

Table of Contents

Foreword Introduction Part 1. Fundamentals 1. Life-Connected and Life-Disconnected Mindsets 2. Moralistic Judgments and Value Judgments 3. Interdependence and Dependence or Independence 4. Power-With and Power-Over 5. Choice and Submission or Rebellion Part 2. Components 6. Observation and Observation Mixed With Evaluation 7. Feelings and Feelings Mixed With Thoughts 8. Needs and Strategies 9. Requests and Demands 10. Idiomatic Language and Classical (Formal) Language Part 3. Options for Connection 11. Being Giraffe and Doing Giraffe 12. Empathy and Sympathy or Other Responses 13. Empathic Sensing and Intellectual Guessing 14. Self-Empathy and Acting Out, Repressing, or Wallowing 15. Jackal Honesty and Giraffe Honesty Part 4. Options for Power 16. Punitive Use of Force and Protective Use of Force 17. Respect for Authority and Fear of Authority 18. Self-Discipline and Obedience Part 5. Further Applications 19. Natural and Habitual Ways of Being 20. Vulnerability and Weakness 21. Stimulus and Cause 22. Persisting and Demanding 23. Shift and Compromise 24. Appreciation and Approval, Compliments, or Praise 25. Love as a Feeling and Love as a Need Conclusion Acknowledgments Appendices Notes Index The Four-Part Nonviolent Communication Process Some Basic Feelings We All Have Nonviolent Communication Research and About Nonviolent Communication About PuddleDancer Press About the Center for Nonviolent Communication PuddleDancer Press Book and Booklets About the Author