Help! I'm a Military Spouse-I Want a Life Too!

by Hightower, Kathie

• ISBN13: 9781597970679
• ISBN10: 1597970670
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2007-02-28
• Publisher: Potomac Books Inc

Summary

Make the most of this challenging but extremely rewarding life. Suport your spouse and craft a life for you-based on who you are as an individual. You will learn: 5 keys to happiness for your life with the military, How to strengthen your relationship with your spouse, Ways to make and maintain friends as you move, How to tap into the richness and possibilities of this lifestyle, 70 creative and practical ways to follow your own dreams, while you follow the military.

Table of Contents

Preface	p. xix
Acknowledgments	p. xxiii
Prologue: Why Should I Believe You Two?	p. xxvii
What If I Don't Fit This Life?: The Myth of the Perfect Military Spouse Versus Authenticity and Uniqueness	p. 1
What about That Mythical Creature Who Shows Up during Deployments?	p. 3
The Keys to Happiness and What That Means to You: What the Research on Happiness Tells Us about Your Life with the Military	p. 7
First Key to Happiness: Seek Out Friends and Support	p. 8
Second Key to Happiness: Cultivate Faith	p. 8
Third Key to Happiness: Discover Simple Joys	p. 9
Fourth Key to Happiness: Know What You Want and Take Action to Achieve It	p. 9
Fifth Key to Happiness: Work from Your Strengths to Serve a Greater Good	p. 11
Resources	p. 13
Seek Out Friends and Support: How to Make Friends and Stay Connected as You Move	p. 15
Find Other Newcomers	p. 16
Attend Activities That Interest You and Talk with People	p. 16
Connect with Other Military Spouses during Deployments	p. 18
Don't Limit Yourself to Activities on Post or Base	p. 21
Too Shy to Speak Up?	p. 21
Create Your "Agenda"	p. 22
Be Curious	p. 23
Ask for a Job	p. 24
Find or Create Your Tribe!	p. 24
How Do You Make Time for Your Friends?	p. 25
Make and Keep Friends for Life	p. 26
Reach Out to Those Who Are New	p. 27
Resources	p. 27
If the Military Wanted You to Have a Spouse, They Would Have Issued You One: Relationship Resources and Ideas	p. 29
Find Something for Yourself and Strengthen Your Relationship	p. 29
Take Advantage of Marriage Enrichment Classes and Resources	p. 30
Learn from the Experience of Other Military Couples	p. 33
Access Additional Relationship Resources at Reunion Time	p. 36
Resources	p. 37
Faith, Hope, and Gratitude: Essentials to Your Overall Happiness in Life	p. 39
Daily Prayer, Weekly Service, Bible Study, and Reading Inspirational Devotionals	p. 41
Journaling	p. 41
Daily Meditation and/or Yoga or Tai Chi	p. 43
"Legs Up the Wall"	p. 43
Cultivate Quiet Time: Find Time for Self-Reflection in Simple Activities	p. 44
Time in Nature	p. 45
Deep Conversations with Friends	p. 45
The Importance of Gratitude-And the Lesson of the Rainbow Glasses	p. 45
Resources	p. 49
Simple Joys...and Energy for Life!: How to Have the Energy to Go for Your Dreams	p. 51
One Simple Exercise-For Joy and Energy	p. 51
Learn to Live Strategically	p. 59
Learn to Say No	p. 59
Know That You Have a Choice	p. 60
Breathe	p. 61
Take One Day at a Time	p. 62
Think Movement, Not Exercise	p. 63
Dump Your Time and Energy Drains	p. 64
Choose Foods and Beverages for Energy	p. 66
Turn Interests into Energy!	p. 66
Resources	p. 67
Figure Out Who You Are and What You Want: Exercises to Help You Figure Out Your Priorities, Strengths, and a Vision for Your Life	p. 69
Know What You Want-And Why This Matters	p. 69
Develop Whole-istic Dreams	p. 70
Start with the Ideal Life Exercise	p. 72
Get Input from Your Friends and Family	p. 75
Forget the "Shoulds" and Comparisons	p. 76
Adopt the "As Is" Philosophy	p. 78
Celebrate Your Strengths	p. 80
Identify Your Strengths So You Can Celebrate Them	p. 82
Choose Your Battles-Or Choose Your Weakness	p. 82
Create Your Life List: 101 Things I want to Do, Be, Have in My Life	p. 84
Start Your Heart's Desires File	p. 86
Identify a Passion to Help Others	p. 86
Action Steps	p. 86
Resources	p. 87
How Can I Pursue a Career While I'm Married to the Military?: Finding Meaningful Work as You Move	p. 89
Be Aware of the Realities	p. 89
First, Know What You Want	p. 92
Complete the Assessment/Interest Inventories and Pay Attention to Them	p. 93
Invest Time in Information Interviews	p. 94
Join and Stay Active in Your Professional Association	p. 95
Get Your Professional Certification	p. 96
Look for Mentors, Negotiate Career-Building Opportunities, and Be Proactive on Cross Training	p. 96
Start Early in Your Job Search and Be Persistent	p. 97
Be Willing to Take a Pay Cut for New Experience	p. 98
Be Prepared to Make Changes in the Kind of Work You Do	p. 99
Learn to Sell What You Bring to an Employer	p. 99
Build Networking Skills to Make and Keep Great Connections	p. 101
Can't the Services Help Us with This?	p. 101
What if No Job is Available in Your Career Field with This Move?	p. 103
Resources	p. 105
Wouldn't It Be Easier to Have My Own Business?: Moving a Business as You Move	p. 107
The Realistic News	p. 107
Can You Make Money Right Away?	p. 108
Where Will You Get Your Customers or Clients?	p. 109
Are You Ready to Do It All?	p. 109
Do You Have What It Takes, or, Are You Cut Out for Entrepreneurship?	p. 109
How Will This Affect Your Family?	p. 110
Some Good News and Success Stories	p. 110
The Virtual Advantage	p. 111
Virtual Businesses Today Can Cover a Wide Range of Specialties	p. 112
Businesses That Develop by Chance and Serendipity-And Because of-Military Life	p. 113
The Bottom Line	p. 114
Resources	p. 116
Resources for Virtual Assistants	p. 116
Military Spouse Business Mentioned Here	p. 117
To Volunteer or Not to Volunteer: Volunteering Your Time Has Benefits and Challenges	p. 119
Volunteering Connects You to the Military Community	p. 119
Volunteering Increases Your Energy and Happiness	p. 123
Volunteering Develops Skills	p. 125
Be Aware! Volunteering Can Also Cause Problems	p. 127
Action Steps	p. 128
What Skill Do You Want to Use or Learn?	p. 129
Try These Effective and Fun Goal Achieving Techniques: How to Move Toward Your Goals Even as You Move with the Military	p. 131
Choose a Primary Focus for Each Stage of Life	p. 131
Apply the Basics of Effective Goal Setting and Achieving	p. 133
Determine the Outcome of Your Outcomes	p. 134
Brainstorm Second and Third Right Answers	p. 135
Develop a Plan of Action and Get Moving	p. 138
Open Yourself Up to Serendipity	p. 139
Set Short-Term and Long-Term Goals, Big and Small	p. 141
Create a Visual Treasure Map of Your Dreams	p. 141
Get Your Spouse's Support	p. 144
Financing Your Dream	p. 144
Reap the Rewards of Risk Taking	p. 145
Know That Failure Isn't Always Failure	p. 148
Monitor Your Self-Talk-The Power of Words	p. 148
Action Steps	p. 150
Resources	p. 151
Financial Resources	p. 151
Get Help for Your Dreams: How to Effectively Ask for and Create the Support You Need	p. 153
Teams Help You Get What You Want	p. 153
Ask for What You Want	p. 157
And Ask for Things That Affect All of Us	p. 159
Action Steps	p. 160
Resources	p. 160
Ask for Help, Accept Help, Offer Help in Challenging Times: Acknowledge That Extra Help Is Necessary	p. 163
Ask for-And Accept-Help When You Need It	p. 163
Pay It Forward	p. 164
Be Specific in Your Offers of Help	p. 165
Access the Help That Is Available	p. 166
Make Use of Military OneSource-One Incredible Resource	p. 166
Get Professional Help When Necessary	p. 168
Recognize the Signs of Depression	p. 170
Resources	p. 171
The Richness of Military Life: Look at the Benefits as Well as the Challenges of This Lifestyle	p. 173
Cherish Patriotism, Pride, and Esprit de Corps	p. 174
Get to Know Our Country	p. 174
Seek Out Unique Opportunities, Compliments of Uncle Sam	p. 174
Take the Opportunity to Reinvent Yourself	p. 176
Discover New Interests	p. 177
Open the World to Your Kids	p. 179
Open Yourself to the World	p. 180
Relish the Opportunity for Personal Growth	p. 181
Action Steps	p. 181
It's Time to Take Action for Your Life: Start Today to Craft a Life That Works for You	p. 183
Resources	p. 184
Books	p. 184
Extended Learning Centers	p. 184
Associations	p. 185
Specific Resources for Militaiy Families	p. 185
Nonfiction Books-Some Highlights	p. 185
Fiction Books-A Sampling	p. 187
Magazines, Newspapers, and Newsletters	p. 187
Service Resources	p. 188
Websites	p. 188
Index	p. 191
About the Authors	p. 197
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