Hollow Kids : Recapturing the Soul of a Generation Lost to the Self-Esteem Myth

by SMITH, LAURA L. PHDELLIOTT, CHARLES

• ISBN13: 9780761516743
• ISBN10: 0761516743
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2001-08-01
• Publisher: Prima Lifestyles

Summary

Being a kid today is starkly different from what it was a generation ago. In a society where children have more toys, more television, and more independence than ever before, we have left them dangerously empty inside. Children from elementary to high school are more likely to commit acts of violence, abuse drugs and alcohol, or engage in risky sexual behavior than their parents were, while test scores and academic performance have declined. The self-esteem movementthe teaching and parenting panacea that was supposed to cure these social ills and create brilliant, healthy childrenhas fallen flat. By bending over backwards to make kids feel good about themselves, educators, the media and well-meaning parents have created a generation of hollow kids who lack the fundamental understanding of who they are and what they can accomplish. How did our society become obsessed with the feel-good curriculuma practice that places making every child feel special above learning the basics of appropriate behavior? Why did it become wrong to hold kids to standards of learning in reading, writing, and arithmetic? What steps can we take to ensure our children grow up with ahealthyself-acceptance?Hollow Kidshas the answers. Written by two highly respected psychologists, this ground-breaking book masterfully debunks the self-esteem myth with hard evidence and insightful observations. Drs. Laura L. Smith and Charles H. Elliot meticulously demonstrate the damage overinflated self-esteem can inflict on our children:narcissism, prompting aggression, violence, and delinquency; adistorted self image,leading to tattooing, piercing, bulimia, and anorexia; and aceaseless quest to feel good,stimulating insatiable materialism, shoplifting, and substance abuse. An extreme example is that of the Columbine boys who killed themselves, their classmates, and a teacher. The notes they left behind showed that they harbored a shocking sense of superiority and self-absorption. A clarion call to parents, educators, and child psychologists, this book clearly shows how to identify much of the ill that plagues today's youth and root it out. By parents reclaiming their position of authority and educators reestablishing a leadership role and lost standards of excellence, we can fill this generation and those to come with a healthy understanding of themselves and their society.

Author Biography

Laura L. Smith, Ph.D., a school and clinical psychologist, has worked with high-risk children for more than twenty years. She has published articles and made national and international presentations on the dangers of unrealistic self-esteem among children. An adjunct faculty member at the Fielding Graduate Institute, cofounder of ParentHelpZone.com, and coauthor of Why Can't I Be the Parent I Want to Be? with Dr. Charles H. Elliott, she lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico Charles H. Elliott, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and specialist in cognitive behavior therapies and pediatric psychology, is a member of the faculty at the Fielding Graduate Institute and a Founding Fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. The former director of mental health consultation-liaison services at the University of Oklahoma Children's Memorial Hospital, he also lives in Albuquerque

Table of Contents

Preface	vii
Acknowledgments	xi
The Self-Esteem Movement: The Selling of an Illusion	1	(26)
Focus on Self: Esteem or Narcissism?	27	(28)
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Self-Esteem and Obsession with Appearance	55	(28)
Feeling Too Good: Spending, Sensations, and Substances	83	(26)
Violence: The Darkest Side of Self-Esteem	109	(30)
``You're So Special!'' Self-Esteem in the Schools	139	(32)
The Perfection Paradox	171	(18)
The Acceptance Alternative	189	(22)
Parenting Solid Kids	211	(20)
Teaching Solid Kinds	231	(18)
Epilogue: Concluding Thoughts at the Mall	249	(8)
Notes	257	(36)
Index	293