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Contents
Introduction
Part One
Law of Love
* What Is Self-Love?
* Whole, Balanced Life: The Foundation for Self-Love
* In the Name of Love
* Self-Love Versus Selfish
* Types of Love
* Faith, Trust, and Release
* Random Acts of Kindness
* The Art of Receiving
* Living in Love
Part Two
Law of Preparation and Attraction
* Law of Preparation
* Law of Mirroring
* Your Emotional Suitcase
* Healing Old Emotional Wounds
* Beliefs
* Needs/Wants List
* Intuition
* Law of Attraction
* Visualization
* Affirmations
* Silencing the Mind: Meditation
* Goal Board
* Hypnotherapy
* Where's My Guardian Angel?
* Prayer
* Lights, Camera, Living
* Practicing Silence
* Risk
* Detachment
Part Three
Law of Maintenance
* Stages of a Relationship
* The Three C's: Communication, Courtesy, Compassion
* Soulmates: Reflecting Love and Magnifying Fear
* Relationship Goals
* Creating Win-Win Solutions
* Growing Through the Different Types of Love
* Relationship Cycles
* Twenty Things to Maintain the Love in Your Relationship
Part Four
Law of Letting Go
* Signs That a Relationship Isn't Working
* Stages of Grief
* Spiritual Growth
* Why People Hang On to Relationships That Aren't Working
* Was It Love, or Fear?
* Patterns in Past Relationships
* Forgiveness
* Symbols to Help You Release
Epilogue
Resources
Index
The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.
The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.
Falling in love is actually a powerful experience of feeling the Universe move through you. The other person has become a channel for you, a catalyst that triggers you to open up to the love, beauty and compassion within.
SHAKTI GAWAIN
From the moment I opened up to my friends in college about my psychic gift, the questions I've been asked the most have been about love and relationships. Everyone wants to know: "When will I meet my soulmate?" "Am I dating him now?" "Will I ever hear from him/her again?" Or, "Where can I find my ideal mate?" Each person is looking to find their ideal mate to share in their journey. Without love, people feel empty and lonely.
Love is the nutrition required by our souls to energize us toward achieving our purpose on Earth. That's why it feels so good. When we're in love, we feel as if there's nothing we can't accomplish. Our bodies, minds, and souls are healthier. It's no wonder that if you're not in love, you want to be. And that's why we're driven to take the risks necessary to find our ideal mate: we go on blind dates, answer personal ads, read books, attend classes, call psychics, and pray to find our soulmate.
The process of finding your ideal mate is an opportunity to learn about yourself and your purpose in life.
Finding your ideal mate is more than just universal coincidence. It's true that most people meet their ideal mates unexpectedly, but that meeting is a by-product of the energy that you've been reflecting to the Universe for a long, long time. The journey toward finding your ideal mate begins with knowing, respecting, and loving yourself first. My beloved mother, Marie Georgian Simmons, told me when I was growing up that it was important to develop myself as a person. This would then allow me to attract another complete person into my life. She said, "The most important earthly relationship that you have is withyourself."
It's important to understand what youreallywant in a relationship at any given point in your life, because that's what you are going to attract. A friend of mine was recently divorced, and she often said that she was looking for someone to have fun with but not have a committed, ongoing relationship with. The men who kept appearing in her life were also interested in a noncommitted relationship. Eventually she complained that none of the men she was dating wanted more than a casual relationship. I reminded her that she was fond of saying that she wanted only fun, without commitment. That's the message she was presenting to the Universe, and that's what she was getting. At some point she changed her mind about what she wanted, but she didn't change her request to the Universe. Aswemove through different phases of our life, the definition of an ideal mate will also change to meet our changing needs.
During certain times of your life you may enjoy the lessons you can learn from dating many different people. You may also believe that there's one ideal mate for you, and you will put your time and energy into creating and maintaining that relationship. Sometimes you may think you've sent out one request and you wonder why you keep receiving something else. This is when you must take an inventory of yourtruebeliefs about relationships and your ideal mate.
The Universe is always listening to our requests. A couple of years ago a colleague of mine had been dating a man for about a year, but he had not yet expressed his feelings about their relationship, or whether he even wanted to explore the possibilities of it continuing in the future. Driving down the highway one afternoon, in exasperation, she said out loud, "All right, I'm tired of this. I want to know what he wants!" Much to her surprise -- although she shouldn't have been shocked, since she had directly asked the Universe for information -- her boyfriend, over dinner that evening, and without any hint from her, not only brought up the subject but volunteered quite emotionally that he cared deeply for her and wanted the relationship to last.
While some people might term this a coincidence, many of us know that when we ask for information or make our feelings known to what we loosely refer to as the Universe, or God, or whatever we choose to call the creative force we are intertwined with, we will get an answer, and often quite quickly. Somebody or something "out there" is always listening -- and is indeedhereto assist you. As many spiritual leaders have stated, the Universe conspires to fulfill all our dreams.
As the following story shows, you can send verbal or nonverbal messages to the Universe that you wish had not been sent. These, too, demonstrate the enormous power we have to manifest anything.
When one of my clients began dating a man she found herself in love with a few years ago, he was afraid because of the strong feelings he had for her. It had been many years since he had given up on the idea that he might find his ideal mate, and in the meantime be had married someone who he knew wasn't ideal for him. After that marriage faltered and he met my client, he realized that she was everything he had been looking for and that they were the "perfect fit." My client felt that way, too.
So, what was the problem?
The man, after expressing his deep feelings, seemed to stall the relationship. Knowing that he was afraid, my client was very patient, understanding, and encouraging. One evening, upon the advice of a friend, she drew pictures of everything she wanted at that point in her life. In addition to a few drawings related to her career, she drew on the page a picture of the man and herself holding bands. Around them she drew a shining sun, a palm tree, a beach -- a beautiful romantic setting. On her left hand she drew an engagement ring and wedding band. To make sure that their identities couldn't possibly be misunderstood, she even put their initials as monograms on the T-shirts she had drawn on their figures.
For a couple of days the picture sat on the counter in her kitchen, but feeling a bit embarrassed and not wanting anyone else to see the picture (for fear they might think her superstitious, childish, or even crazy), she put the picture on the top shelf in her bedroom closet next to some sweaters.
She had not told the man about this picture. In fact, the only one who knew about it was the friend who suggested she draw it in the first place.
Within forty-eight hours of her placing the picture on the shelf, the man she had been dating told her that he was afraid of his feelings and needed more time to think about their situation.
"I'm going to have to put you on a shelf for a little while," he told her.
When she heard those words she froze, in shock that he had chosen the phraseon the shelf.When she got home that night she immediately took the picture off the shelf in the closet and brought it back out into the bedroom.
"I stood there with the picture in my hand," she told me. "I had no idea where to put it next. I could not believe how much power this picture actually turned out to have."
She moved the picture from place to place around her house for the next couple of weeks, making sure it never sat on anything that even remotely resembled a shelf. She then said a little prayer, affirming her love for this man, and asked the Universe to bring them together again. Finally, she threw the picture away, releasing the power of the picture to the Universe.
Within a few months, he had taken her "off the shelf," and their relationship resumed.
Another example happened to a client of mine fifteen years ago, while he sat in a restaurant with a friend having ice cream.
"I know what I'm looking for," he told his friend, "but I just haven't found her yet."
"Me, too," his friend replied.
"Why don't we try something just for fun?" my client suggested. "Each of us can write down every single quality and detail we can think of that describes the woman each of us is looking for, and then let's read out loud what's on our list."
They each grabbed a napkin and wrote down their list. They left no stone unturned. In fact, they both felt a bit silly because their lists included the time of year they thought their ideal mate's birthday would be, what her hands would look like, and even the tiniest details about her family, interests, and life's work.
They read their lists aloud to each other and my client said to his friend, "Well, if I run into your girl, I'll send her to you; and if you run into mine, send her to me."
The very next afternoon, my client met a woman through his work. They be began dating a week later, and be soon discovered she matched everything on the ice cream napkin list.
They were married two and a half years later.
This book highlights all of the principles I've learned and taught people throughout my career as a psychic and spiritual advisor. I also show examples of real relationships people have had, either learning about the types of relationship they want to have (their own individual spiritual lessons) or actually meeting and beginning their journeys with their soulmates.
In Part One we focus on the Law of Love. You must first love yourself so you can give love to others. Relationships with ideal mates are based on many types of love, depending on what you need and want at that time in your life. We'll discuss why you must become a whole person and live in a state of love to create the energy to attract your ideal mate.
In Part Two we explore the Law of Preparation and Attraction. Preparing yourself by learning what you want and need in a relationship is necessary in order to attract what youreallywant in a mate and in a relationship. Often we put energy into creating one thing even though we really want something else. It's like ordering cheese pizza and, when it arrives, expecting there to be pepperoni on it. You must make certain that what you want and what you request are the same thing.
In Part Three we see that once you've found your ideal mate, it's important to practice the Law of Maintenance. You must nurture your relationship to provide mutual growth that enhances its spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical aspects. I'll help you identify ways to develop a relationship from the moment you meet a possible life mate until you're both ready to make that commitment. Even relationships with ideal mates require effort and care to ensure that the romance continues to bloom.
In Part Four we focus on the Law of Letting Go. Some relationships are part of our growing process as spiritual beings but aren't meant to last a lifetime. Just because a relationship didn't last forever, though, doesn't mean that the other person wasn't your ideal mate for that particular moment in time. This chapter will also reveal how to lovingly let go of past relationships so you can move forward and begin new ones.
In each chapter you'll meet clients to whom I've taught the principles of attracting their ideal mate and others who've shared their stories about their relationships with me. You'll see the principles of these universal laws in action through these real life stories about people who've loved, grown wiser, and have experienced being in a relationship with an ideal mate. Your heart and soul will be inspired as you begin to believe it can happen to you.
Remember, your will is very powerful. As you literally create your life, think about this:
In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
OSCAR WILDE
Copyright © 1999 by Linda Georgian
Part One: Law of Love Chapter One
Love isn't something that we find, it's something that we do.
-- CLINT BLACK, SOMETHING THAT WE DO
For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- RAINER MARIA RILKE
What's the only four-letter word you can't hear enough of?Love.We all want to feel it, hear it, and experience it. We search the world looking for it. We hope and pray to find it. We go to psychics, seminars, dating services, church, and therapy; read books; and have countless dates trying to find it or the map that leads to it. We'd be only so thrilled if the Home Shopping Network could package it and sell it and UPS could deliver it to our door.
Everyone knows why we take risk after risk searching for it. There's no greater feeling in the world than being in love. Love is the most potent natural aphrodisiac. Food, alcohol, or drugs can't replace it. It's a healer. It's our connection to the universal forces of life, or God.
Love is the gatekeeper that allows us to experience all other emotions. Without love we surround our hearts with a stone wall and eventually can't feel anything, until the wall is torn down. Love is what allows us to feel joy and sorrow; it gives us laughter and tears, provides strength for others and the need to be held. Love is a state of being that allows us to experience all things. It's not something that you find; it's a way of life.
Someone looking for the love of their life must have a clear understanding of what love is in their life. Think of love as a house. Self-love is the foundation of your house. If you have a weak love foundation, the house will be shaky. On the other hand, if you have a solid, strong love foundation, you have the opportunity to build a house full of more love in your life than you can imagine. The fact that you have self-love doesn't mean that you won't have to say no to some of the people trying to put inferior-quality materials in your house of love. There are always con artists out there testing us to see if we'll put things in our house of love that aren't healthy or don't match our requirements. However, if you have a strong foundation you'll have less to rebuild or will be able to recover more quickly if you accidentally put inferior products in your house.
Fortunately, you can always improve or change your foundation. In fact, keeping your foundation strong is a lifelong job. Different parts of your foundation may be weak at different times in your life. Sometimes you may have to work more on the foundation that supports your family; other times, on taking care of yourself; and yet other times, on the foundation of your relationship with your significant other. It seems some rooms of a house are used more than others, and the foundation that supports them may need more maintenance. But by constantly maintaining your foundation you'll get to spend most of your moments living in the flow of love.
When you're living in a state of love, life is an adventure. Each day life offers experiences that are full of opportunities to enjoy living on Earth. Living in love is about living in the moment. With rare exceptions, when you're focusing on the moment you're living in, not on the past or future, you can be happy and in a state of love. Love is the most abundant natural resource we have.
When you're living in a state of love, it's difficult to be angry, resentful, and bitter. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that likes to take inventories of people's actions and keep debits and credits. Some good deeds get a credit, and every offense receives a debit. At some point in our relationship we look at the balance sheet and see if we think everything has been fair. In a perfect world, debits and credits would always be balanced. However, we live on planet Earth. Everyone here is participating in a human experience and has to learn their individual spiritual lessons, so we create relationships in which the debits and the credits aren't always equal.
Even when you feel your debits and credits aren't equal, you can still access your infinite supply of love. It heals you so you can move forward. Of course, it's easier to access your infinite supply of love when you're living in a state of self-love.
Copyright © 1999 by Linda Georgian
Excerpted from How to Attract Your Ideal Mate by Linda Georgian
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
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