How to Forgive When You Can't: The Breakthrough Guide to Free Your Heart & Mind

by Dincalci, Dr Jim

• ISBN13: 9780982430705
• ISBN10: 0982430701
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-04-01
• Publisher: Forgiveness Foundation

Summary

Used successfully coast to coast to heal and renew relationships and careers.

Author Biography

Dr. Jim Dwcalci, a university instructor and retired child family therapist, brings 41 years of work in healing therapies, including nine years teaching forgiveness in universities, hospitals and public seminars.

Table of Contents

Successes From People Who Work With Clients	p. ii
Dedication	p. vII
Contents	p. ix
Foreword	p. xiii
Acknowledgements	p. xv
Opening to a Different Way	p. 1
The Opening	p. 3
Stages and Phases of Forgiveness	p. 4
The Very First Step Is:	p. 5
The Search for What Works	p. 8
Facing Deep Trauma	p. 10
How it Works	p. 13
The Best-kept Secret	p. 14
The Types of Forgiveness	p. 15
The Myths of Forgiveness	p. 16
The Forgiveness Battle	p. 17
The Effects of Trauma and High Stress	p. 18
The War of the Brains	p. 20
Quieting the Stressed System	p. 22
Success in Forgiving	p. 24
What Forgiving Really Is	p. 28
How Do You Know You Have Really Forgiven?	p. 31
Justice and Punishment	p. 32
Effects of Hostility	p. 34
Important Points for Effective Forgiving	p. 34
Always Be Aware Of	p. 34
The First Essential Aspect	p. 35
The Major Barrier to Forgiving:	p. 37
Forgiving Big Issues	p. 39
The Key Question	p. 40
The First Hurdle	p. 42
The Blocks to Forgiving	p. 43
The Myths of Forgiveness	p. 43
The Second Hurdle	p. 61
The Proven Benefits of Forgiving	p. 62
Research Results	p. 62
Forgiveness Therapy Results	p. 64
Increased Energy and Uplifted Spirits	p. 64
Changes in Others	p. 65
Happier Relationships	p. 65
Positive Results with Children	p. 66
Dealing with Marriage and New Relationships	p. 66
Physical Healing	p. 67
Hope	p. 69
The Seldom Used Act That Brings Big Results:	p. 72
The Simplest Forgiveness Practice	p. 73
Hope for Humankind	p. 74
The Third Hurdle	p. 75
Going Deeper	p. 77
Making Sense of Our Thinking	p. 79
Why Habits Are Hard to Break	p. 80
How the Brain Works Best	p. 93
Breaking Out of Prison	p. 95
Dealing with Emotional Pain	p. 95
The Overlooked Aid for Empowering Yourself:	p. 95
The Deadly Rules, Judgements and Expectations	p. 104
Making Forgiving Easier	p. 112
The Best Strategy for Difficult Situations	p. 114
A Technique to Make Forgiveness Go Faster:	p. 114
Getting Needs and Wants Met	p. 116
The Secret Attitude That Aids Forgiving	p. 117
The Overlooked Brain Function	p. 120
How to Change Your Inner Experience:	p. 123
The Secrets of Forgiveness Work	p. 127
The Power behind Forgiving	p. 129
The Core of Our Being	p. 129
Love and Forgiveness	p. 131
Our Healthiest State of Mind	p. 132
Real Healing	p. 133
How to Empower Yourself and Others	p. 141
Working on Upsets	p. 142
Vital Steps and Actions to Remember	p. 142
The Truth behind the Resistance	p. l47
Forgiving Permanently	p. 149
Our Mind's Defenses that Prevent Forgiving	p. 153
Making Forgiveness Permanent	p. 156
Awareness of Defense Mechanisms Is Not Enough	p. 161
Stressed Thinking That Sabotages Forgiving	p. 162
Self-Forgiveness and Empowerment	p. 167
The Keys to Self-Forgiveness	p. 167
Guilt, Pain and Punishment	p. 168
Dealing with Inner Conflict	p. 169
The Cycle of Victimhood and Guilt	p. 173
Help in Gaining Self-forgiveness	p. 178
Dealing with Stress and Trauma	p. 180
The Signs of Stress Overload and Exhaustion	p. 183
Pain	p. 185
Dealing with Family Burnout	p. 186
What Do Trauma Survivors Need to Know?	p. 188
Trauma's Long-Term Consequences - PTSD	p. 190
Forgiving and PTSD	p. 193
Compassion Fatigue	p. 194
How and Why Self-Forgiveness Helps	p. 195
Trauma and Forgiveness	p. 196
Doing the Work	p. 197
Successful Preparations	p. 199
Review of Secrets & Essentials of Forgiving	p. 202
The Principles of Power Forgiveness	p. 204
Preparing for the Process	p. 206
The Power Forgiveness Process	p. 210
Facing the Unforgiven In Your Life	p. 211
Working on an Incident	p. 213
Transformation	p. 226
After the Process	p. 229
Continued Healing	p. 231
After Deep Change	p. 231
The Ultimate Result	p. 243
Appendix	p. 251
Notes	p. 269
Bibliography	p. 273
Permissions	p. 281
Index	p. 283
About the Author	p. 289
Signed Book - Order Form	p. 290
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