Summary

A vast readership awaits How to Negotiate with Kids. It addresses some of today's top parenting concerns: how to deal with a child who disagrees, how to avoid being either an ogre or a pushover, and-most of all-how to handle conflicts in ways that build lasting relationships with children. Scott Brown, a founding member of the world-famous Harvard Negotiation Project, coauthor of Getting Together, and a father of four, has found that parents face the same dilemmas as negotiators everywhere. Now he has adapted his highly acclaimed techniques to teach parents how to: manage their own emotions and reactions during conflict manage their children's emotions and strengthen their emotional control listen in ways that will build understanding negotiate solutions to common problems teach their children to be problem solvers learn when not to negotiate discipline wisely Personal anecdotes, stories from Brown's workshop families, and sample dialogues of "right" and "wrong" approaches make How to Negotiate with Kidsan essential tool for parents who want to reduce conflict and strengthen their families in ways that will protect their children's emotional health and happiness.

Author Biography

Scott Brown is a negotiation expert and father of four children. After helping to launch the Harvard Negotiation Project, he spent ten years teaching, writing, and speaking about managing conflict and established the nonprofit Conflict Management Group to advise governments and nongovernment organizations on public conflicts worldwide.

Contents
acknowledgments	p. vii
broccoli, baths, and bedtime-why i needed this book	p. xi
Your Conflict Style	p. 1
Deal with Your Emotions Before You Deal with Your Children	p. 24
Help Your Child Deal with His Emotions Too	p. 51
Listen to Learn	p. 77
Talk to Teach	p. 105
Persuade, Don't Coerce	p. 123
Discipline Wisely	p. 156
What's Nonnegotiable?	p. 180
Mediating Sibling Rivalry	p. 189
I Knew That	p. 199
notes	p. 201
index	p. 211
Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.

Supplemental Materials

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

Excerpts

Chapter OneYour Conflict StyleThe parents in my Negotiating with Children workshops come loaded with questions: "How can I get my daughter to take a bath? . . . How can I get my son to bed without a fight? . . . How can I get out of the grocery store without two arguments and a candy bar?" Parents come looking for ways to make their lives easier and their relationships stronger and for answers to problems with behavior and discipline. Even those with "easy" children come looking for better ways to deal with their differences. Most of all, they come with stories-sometimes funny, sometimes sad, and usually familiar. Here are a few samples. Five-year-old Lucas and his mother struggle over everything from play dates to baths. Dinnertime can be especially frustrating. lucas: "I hate beans. I can't eat them." mother: "You need to eat three bites." lucas (grimacing and whining): "I can't eat three bites. I'll throw up." mother: "That's fine. Just eat three bites." lucas (a minute later): "There, I'm done." mother: "You're not done. You didn't eat three bites." lucas (almost bursting with denial): "I did too! They were small." mother: "That won't do it." lucas: "All right, three beans. I already ate one." mother: "I said three bites." lucas: "That is three bites. They're big." mother: "They're beans." lucas: "If I eat three beans, how many M&M's can I have?" mother: "I don't know." lucas: "Twenty?" mother: "No, you haven't eaten enough." lucas: "I ate all my applesauce and all my bread!" mother: "All right, ten M&M's." lucas: "Fifteen." mother: "I said ten." lucas: "If I finish my milk, can I have fifteen?" mother: "OK, but you have to bring your plate to the kitchen." Nine-year-old Sadie has become much more particular about what she wears. Mornings ring with wails of "Where's my blue shirt?" and slamming drawers. sadie's father: "Sadie, put your shoes on for school." sadie: "I'm wearing my sandals." father: "Sadie, it's snowing." sadie: "I don't care." father: "Sadie, don't be stubborn. You can't wear sandals." sadie (exploding): "I'm NOT STUBBORN!" father: "Your toes will freeze." sadie: "So? They're my toes!" father: "Sadie, put on your shoes." sadie: "I hate my shoes." father: "What's wrong with your shoes?" sadie: "I hate them." father: "Just like that? You hate them? You just bought them a month ago." sadie: "So? They're ugly." father: "Look, Sadie, it's snowing. You have to wear your shoes." sadie (erupting): "Then I won't go to school!" father: "Sadie, stop it! You have to go to school." sadie: "Then I won't wear my shoes." father: "Fine. I don't care what you wear!" Twelve-year-old Jenna and her parents are struggling to handle her mood swings and growing independence. Even simple comments turn into arguments. jenna (getting up from the dinner table): "I'm going to Ali's." mother: "Wait a minute. You're not excused." jenna (rolling her eyes and loudly thumping her plate back onto the table): "May I be excused?" father: "You haven't said anything about what happened in school today." jenna (slumping in her chair with exaggerated indifference): "Nothing happened." mother: "Anything new at practice?" jenna (staring at the table): "No. Can I go now?" mother: "What are you doing at Ali's?" jenna: "Jeez, what is this, the Inquisition?" father: "Hey, we just want to know what you're doing." jenna: "I don't ask what you're doing when you go out, do I?" mother: "OK, go! Be back by nine, and take the trash out when you go." jenna: "Why do I have to do the trash all the time? Why can't Alex do it?" father: "Jenna, that's enough! If you want to