How to Talk So People Listen

by Sonya Hamlin

• ISBN13: 9780060915735
• ISBN10: 0060915730
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 2010-11-02
• Publisher: Independent Publishers Group (Chicago Review Press)

Summary

Whether making a presentation or dealing one on one, interacting at a meeting or just answering questions, do others listen when you talk? This book explains how to communicate successfully so people listen, understand, and are persuaded. It is a comprehensive guide to every aspect of communicating in the workplace and beyond.

Author Biography

As one of America's foremost communications experts, Sonya Hamlin consults for and teaches at many major American corporations and numerous law firms, bar associations, political institutions, and colleges. She is the author of What Makes Juries Listen and a frequent communications analyst for television and radio.

Table of Contents

What's the Problem? Why We Don't Communicate Well in the Workplace	p. 1
What This Book is About	p. 2
How Do I Know?	p. 3
Why We Have Such a Hard Time Communicating	p. 4
Where It Begins	p. 5
How It Develops	p. 6
What We Want	p. 7
What Motivates Work	p. 8
Status	p. 8
Usefulness	p. 9
Affection/Acceptance	p. 9
Money/Security	p. 10
Our Public Image	p. 12
What Works, What Doesn't and Why	p. 12
What We Already Know	p. 13
Basic Work Personalities	p. 13
Achievers	p. 14
Affiliators	p. 15
Influencers	p. 16
Using the Work Types	p. 18
A Predominance of Achievers	p. 19
The Basics of Communicating: Why and How People Listen	p. 21
Telling and Listening	p. 21
The One-sided Nature of Telling	p. 21
Listening Is Work	p. 22
Motivation	p. 22
What Makes People Listen	p. 23
Self Interest	p. 23
Who's Telling	p. 25
How They Tell It	p. 31
The New Techniques of Telling	p. 34
Basic Techniques of Television Communication	p. 34
Communication Consequences of TV	p. 36
Implications for Business Communication	p. 40
Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication	p. 40
How We Communicate	p. 40
Common Obstacles to Communication	p. 43
How People Feel About Learning	p. 43
Language	p. 45
Getting Ready to Communicate: Fore-thought for Strategies	p. 48
Developing Strategies	p. 48
What Goes Wrong and Why	p. 48
Where We Get Stuck	p. 52
Fore-Thought	p. 52
Who Is Your Audience?	p. 53
What You Know, What You Need	p. 53
The Fore-Thought Chart	p. 56
The Basic Idea	p. 56
The Process	p. 57
Objective Goals	p. 58
Emotional Needs	p. 61
Probable Expectations	p. 68
A Chart for the Summoned	p. 74
Fore-Thought Check-List	p. 76
Forethought for Larger Audiences	p. 77
Structuring and Organizing Business Encounters	p. 78
Preparation	p. 78
Choose and Edit Your Goals	p. 78
Scheduling the Meeting	p. 81
When to Meet	p. 81
Which Day	p. 84
Where to Meet	p. 85
To Lunch or Not to Lunch	p. 89
Breakfast Meetings	p. 90
Getting on the Calendar	p. 91
Techniques	p. 91
Designing Presentations: What Captures Attention and Understanding	p. 96
Guidelines for Designing Presentations	p. 97
How We Think	p. 97
What We Need So We Understand and Stay Interested	p. 99
Structuring a Presentation	p. 104
Outline Form	p. 104
Order of Presentation	p. 104
Checklist	p. 109
Making Messages Visual	p. 110
Why Use Visual Reinforcement	p. 110
What to Show; What to Tell	p. 110
"Leave-Behinds"	p. 112
Designing Visual Materials	p. 114
Basic Guidelines	p. 114
Techniques for Using Visual Aids	p. 117
Close Encounters: One-on-One	p. 119
Openers	p. 119
Before You Begin	p. 120
Change Gears	p. 120
Warm-up	p. 120
Small Talk	p. 121
Where to Sit	p. 123
Amenities	p. 124
Body Language	p. 125
Substance	p. 126
Up Front: Agenda, Goals, Time	p. 126
Sharing the Power	p. 127
Motivation	p. 129
Telling and Explaining	p. 129
Discussion	p. 130
Special Issues	p. 132
Creative Criticism	p. 132
Getting at the Truth	p. 134
Handling Anger--Yours and His/Hers	p. 135
Closure	p. 138
Recap and Clarify	p. 138
List Next Steps	p. 139
Follow-Up	p. 139
End on a High Note	p. 139
Checklist	p. 140
Presentations: How to Make Memorable Speeches	p. 142
Understanding Audiences	p. 142
How Audiences Feel	p. 142
Planning Your Presentation	p. 145
Profile Your Audience	p. 145
Why Are They Coming	p. 147
Physical Realities	p. 149
Designing Your Presentation	p. 150
Positioning the Speech	p. 150
Basic Organization of a Speech	p. 153
Should You Write It?	p. 154
Written vs. Oral Speeches	p. 154
The Effect of Written Speeches on the Audience	p. 156
The Effects on You, the Speaker	p. 157
For Addicted Speechwriters	p. 158
For Extemporizes	p. 158
Making Usable Notes and Outlines	p. 159
The Basic Process	p. 159
Techniques for Delivering Memorable Speeches	p. 164
Attention-Getting Openings	p. 164
Audience Involvement	p. 168
Presenting Subject Matter	p. 171
Endings	p. 174
Personal Style	p. 175
Being Yourself	p. 175
How You Feel Toward Your Audience	p. 176
Stage Fright	p. 177
Getting Started	p. 179
The Lectern or Podium	p. 181
Speaking and Language Skills	p. 182
Making Language Clear	p. 182
Analogies	p. 183
Use Words Visually	p. 183
Emphasize	p. 184
The Use of Silence	p. 184
A Postscript	p. 185
The Never-Make-A-Speech-Without-It Checklist	p. 185
The Art of Being Questioned: The Audience or the Boss Vs. You	p. 188
Basic Principles of Answering Questions	p. 188
The Questioning Process	p. 188
Conditioning	p. 189
How We Answer Questions	p. 189
The Audiences vs. You: Answering Audience Questions	p. 191
Why Answer Questions?	p. 191
Preparing for Q and A	p. 193
Answering Techniques	p. 196
Getting Started	p. 196
Handling Questions	p. 198
Handling Difficult Questions and Questioners	p. 201
Buying Time	p. 201
Avoiding the Question	p. 203
Turning Questions Around	p. 203
Cutting People Off	p. 204
Getting the Audience on Your Side	p. 204
Handling Hostility	p. 205
Why People Get Hostile	p. 205
Techniques for Handling Hostility	p. 207
The Boss vs. You	p. 211
The Dynamics of Power	p. 211
How Much Room at the Top	p. 211
Preparation	p. 213
Basic Techniques for Answering	p. 214
Answering Informational Questions	p. 215
Answering Critical Questions	p. 217
Role Play and Practice	p. 220
Meetings: Leading and Participating Effectively	p. 222
What Goes Wrong and Why	p. 222
Factual Issues	p. 222
"Feeling" Issues	p. 224
Why Meetings?	p. 226
Comparison of What Should Be and What Is	p. 227
Basic Personalities at Meetings	p. 228
Players in a Group Interaction	p. 229
Interaction	p. 232
Basic Communication Skills for Meetings	p. 233
Listening	p. 233
Supporting	p. 236
Disagreeing	p. 239
Personal Skills for Leaders	p. 240
Personal Skills for Meeting Participants	p. 243
Creating and Leading Effective Meetings	p. 246
Planning	p. 246
Creating the Agenda	p. 246
Designing and Implementing the Meeting	p. 249
Leadership Techniques	p. 250
Warm-Ups	p. 250
Openings	p. 251
The Body of the Meeting	p. 252
Assign Visual Charting	p. 253
Closure	p. 255
The Last Word	p. 257
A Personal Note	p. 258
Index	p. 259
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