How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist (and if he is, should you break up with him?)

by Carlin, Patricia; Miller, Michael

• ISBN13: 9781594741401
• ISBN10: 1594741409
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2007-02-01
• Publisher: Quirk Books

Summary

Let's face it-lust can seriously impair your judgment. It's hard enough for most women to meet a sane, single, straight specimen-who has time for a psychoanalytic debriefing with a hot new guy on the horizon? Enter Patricia Carlin's hilarious and handy guide, How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist. There's a fine line, as Pat says, between a quirk and a severe personality disorder. Is he a pedophile or is he just good with kids? A cross between The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, The Rules, and He's Just Not That Into You, How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist teaches women to identify the warning signs associated with a spectrum of Mr. Wrongs, from cult leaders to closeted homosexuals, passive aggressives, polygamists, Scientologists, and avowed Trekkies. (Warning sign? You're his "first." Should you dump him? Sure, chances are if you want him back, he'll be available.) More importantly, this irreverent, outrageous "guide" offers tips on whether you should hang onto these guys or quickly and safely dump them.

Author Biography

Patricia Carlin is a writer and illustrator who lives in Ardmore, Pennsylvania.

Excerpts

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is . . .
     The Antichrist
     Obsessive-Compulsive
     A Closeted Homosexual
     Suffering from Amnesia
     A Pimp
     Actually Twins
     An Extraterrestrial
     A Commitment-phobe
     A Total Bastard
     Suffering from ADHD
     A Serial Killer
     An Enabler
     A Kleptomaniac
     A Robot
     A Scientologist
     A Trekkie
     A Hypochondriac
     A Slacker
     A Time Traveler from the Past
     A Misanthrope
     A Misogynist
     Actually a Woman
     In the Witness Protection Program
     Passive-Aggressive
     A Cult Leader
     Suffering from an Anxiety Disorder
     A Zombie
     A Polygamist
     An Ex-Convict
     Too Old for You
     A Rageaholic
     A Junkie
     An Illegal Alien
     Possessed by Demons
     A Workaholic
     A Pedophile
     A Bumpkin
     Suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder
     A Player
     A Fugitive from Justice
     Jealous
     A Hit Man
     Married with Children
     A Ghost
     An Alcoholic
     A Stalker
     A Psychic
     On Crystal Meth
     A Cross-Dresser
      A Nymphomaniac
     A Narcissist
     Addicted to Porn
     Bipolar
     A Mama’s Boy
     An Angel
     A Government-Trained Assassin
     Dyslexic
     A Renegade Cop
     Clinically Depressed
     Suffering from an STD
     Narcoleptic
     A Control Freak
     P-Whipped
     On Steroids
     A Homophobe
     A Compulsive Gambler
     A Gun Nut
     A Vampire
     Trying to Kill You
     Agoraphobic
     An Insufferable Bore
     A Crackhead
     A Pathological Liar
Index by Trait
Acknowledgments