I Can't Believe I Just Did That

by Allyn, David

• ISBN13: 9781585422579
• ISBN10: 1585422576
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2003-12-29
• Publisher: Tarcher

Summary

You blush, your throat tightens, your mind races, and all you want to do is run away and hide. You're not quite sure what's happening, but one thing is certain: You want it to end. So it's no surprise that when it comes to asking for a raise, inviting someone to dinner, or just saying what you think in a difficult situation, a quietly lurking fear of embarrassment can undermine your ability to get the job done effectively. In I Can't Believe I Just Did That, social scientist David Allyn examines the subtly damaging effects of embarrassment on our personal and professional relationships -- and presents powerful advice for identifying and managing this all-too-common emotion.

Author Biography

David Allyn, Ph.D., is a Harvard-trained social scientist. A Visiting Scholar at the Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy at Columbia University, Allyn's essays have appeared in such publications as The Journal of American Studies, The New York Times Magazine, and The Washington Post.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Magic of Achievement	vii
PART I: Spirals of Shame
Image Control	3	(21)
The Perils of Pulling In	24	(27)
Seven Secrets to Avoiding Shame-Inducing Situations	42	(9)
The Trouble with Trumping Up the Truth	51	(17)
The Liabilities of Lashing Out	68	(19)
PART II: Spirals of Success
Beyond Image Control: The Art and Science of Self En-Couragement	87	(33)
Work: Turning Awkwardness into Excellence	120	(39)
En-Couraging Yourself	145	(14)
Family: From Guilt to Good Feelings	159	(10)
Dating: En-Couraging Real Romance	169	(20)
Relationships: Resparking the Spiral of Intimacy	189	(25)
What to Do When It Seems Too Late to Do Anything	206	(8)
Parenthood: Raising Courageous Kids	214	(11)
PART III: Conclusion
The Craft of Living Courageously	225	(8)
Resources	233	(2)
Notes	235	(11)
Glossary of Terms	246	(3)
Acknowledgments	249	(2)
Index	251