I Can't Believe I Just Did That

by Allyn, David

• ISBN13: 9781585423613
• ISBN10: 1585423610
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2004-09-09
• Publisher: Tarcher

Summary

A social scientist examines the subtly damaging effects of shame and embarrassment on our everyday lives and offers a powerful program for overcoming them. What is embarrassment? What really causes it, and when does it stop being an emotion that can just be brushed away with the fleeting hope that no real harm has been done? In I Can't Believe I Just Did That, David Allyn reveals how the feelings of confusion and self-doubt associated with embarrassment can powerfully affect the overall quality of our lives. With a complete program for identifying and managing embarrassment and repairing the harm it can inflict, Allyn's book shows how to: - decipher the underlying fears of embarrassment that are holding you back - admit to others when embarrassment leads you to behave in a way that you didn't intend - find the courage to say what you really think - manage the emotions associated with embarrassment as you are experiencing them; and - gain the confidence to be free of embarrassment in every area of your life. A revolutionary look at a commonplace emotion that we shouldn't simply learn to ignore, this book will dramatically improve how you live your life.

Author Biography

David Allyn, Ph.D., is the author of Make Love, Not War: The Sexual Revolution-An Unfettered History. He is a visiting scholar at the Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy at Columbia University in New York City.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Magic of Achievement	vii
PART I: Spirals of Shame
Image Control	3	(21)
The Perils of Pulling In	24	(27)
Seven Secrets to Avoiding Shame-Inducing Situations	42	(9)
The Costs of Covering Up the Truth	51	(17)
The Liabilities of Lashing Out	68	(19)
PART II: Spirals of Success
Beyond Image Control: The Art and Science of Self En-Couragement	87	(33)
Work: Turning Awkwardness into Excellence	120	(39)
En-Couraging Yourself	145	(14)
Family: From Guilt to Good Feelings	159	(10)
Dating: En-Couraging Real Romance	169	(20)
Relationships: Resparking the Spiral of Intimacy	189	(25)
What to Do When It Seems Too Late to Do Anything	206	(8)
Parenthood: Raising Courageous Kids	214	(11)
PART III: Conclusion
The Craft of Living Courageously	225	(8)
Resources	233	(2)
Notes	235	(11)
Glossary of Terms	246	(3)
Acknowledgments	249	(2)
Index	251