I Could Not See God, but God Could See Me : It All Happened for a Reason

by Carolyn T. Christian, T. Christian

• ISBN13: 9781450228831
• ISBN10: 1450228836
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-05-21
• Publisher: Textstream

Summary

Four-year-old Carolyn Christian was playing outside her home in Alabama when she found herself standing in front of an old door. Curious, Carolyn looked through the keyhole and saw something she would remember for the rest of her life. It was at that moment that she learned that God was watching out for her-always. Carolyn chronicles her life from age two to present, telling the story of how she found God even through her most challenging moments. Carolyn shares not only poignant, but also humorous anecdotes that detail unforgettable moments from her childhood like the time she pretended to be tipsy from drinking the communion wine at church and the evening she mashed potatoes without draining the water, ending up with potato juice instead. As Carolyn discloses the confusion she felt as a young girl when she was sexually molested by a family friend, she also shares an inspirational message that God provided her with strength, even during her darkest hours. By offering an honest and self-disclosing glimpse into her life story, Carolyn inspires women everywhere to trust that God will always live in their hearts.

Excerpts

At age 4
One day I'm outside playing, and I find myself on the side of the building where there was this beat up, old door. I knew that the door was there, but I never wondered what was on the other side until that day. I remember thinking that this door probably didn't go anywhere. It was kind of old and it had rust and cobwebs all around it. So now, I decide to look through the keyhole. You know the one shaped like a castle keyhole. The door would remind you of a castle door, except it was smaller. Now I would not lie and you may think that I am making this up, but I'm not. I put one eye to the keyhole and when I focused, I could not believe my own eye. So I changed to the other eye, but the view did not change, it was the same. What I saw, I knew that I would remember for the rest of my life. I saw another world where there were blue skies, a few clouds, trees, beautiful green grass, lots of beautiful green grass that was at least six or eight inches tall and not a brown bald batch anywhere. This place even had its own sunlight. Outside where I was it was around seven thirty, maybe eight o'clock. Inside that keyhole it was high noon if anything. The weather was like spring. Not early spring, but late spring, maybe even early summer.
At age 14 (much later in life)
The fact that I had a very nice figure did not cross my mind I was too busy feeling ugly. I didn't have very much hair and people never let me forget it. So I decided that I would tell him that I cut it off. I picked it into a very nice fro and hoped that he would not notice.
At five thirty, he was at the door. I had not even thought about the fact that I had never seen him either. But boys didn't have to be all that good looking to get the girl. So I sent Cassie to the door to see how he looked. That's what I said too, "Go to the door and tell me what he looks like." I should have specified to come back to me and tell me. I asked her and she told me. She opened the door, looked at him then looked in my direction and said, "He's so black." She said it in his face too. So I felt that my shortcomings would be okay.
When I got the nerves to go to the door, the person on the other side was so, well let me say, he was not ugly at all. He was very dark skinned, but smooth as a baby's butt. I smiled and it seemed to take hours for him to respond, but he smiled back. He must have liked me also, because he did not leave running. It was still kind of questionable, because we did not kiss. He smiled at me a lot and held my hand almost the entire visit. He also did most of the talking and when he did leave, he called me first. I was glad about that, because I was sure that I'd seen the last of him before I'd even kissed him.