I Hate Other People's Kids

by Frost, Adrianne; Swain, Wilson

• ISBN13: 9781416909880
• ISBN10: 1416909885
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-03-01
• Publisher: Gallery Books

Summary

Sure, children are the greatest gift of all -- but that doesn't mean you want to be seated next to one on an airplane.From the dawn of time, other people's kids have found ways to spoil things for the rest of us. Movie theaters, parks, restaurants -- every venue that should be a place of refuge and relaxation has instead become a freewheeling playground complete with shrieks, wails, and ill-timed excretions.Now,I Hate Other People's Kidsdelivers a complete handbook for navigating a world filled with tiny terrors -- and their parents. It boldly explores how children's less- endearing traits have disrupted life throughout history ("And they say Jesus loved the little children, all the children of the world, but he never had to dine with one. He chose the lepers") and classifies important subspecies of tyke, from "Little Monsters" (Dennis the Menace, Bamm-Bamm Rubble) to the "So Good It Hurts" variety (Dakota Fanning, Ricky Schroeder inThe Champ).Dotted with illuminating sidebars such as "Parents Think It's Cute, but It Isn't" and featuring tips on ingeniously turning the tables without seeming childish yourself,I Hate Other People's Kidsis clever, unforgiving, and sidesplittingly funny.

Author Biography

Adrianne Frost is an actor and comedian living in New York City. She has been a panelist on VH1's Best Week Ever. Adrianne has appeared on The Daily Show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and Law and Order. Her comic prose, "Easter Is Cancelled," was published in the 2005 edition of The Signet Book of American Humor.

Table of Contents

Introduction	5	(4)
Preface: A Brief History of Hating Other People's Children	9	(2)
Ouiz: You Down with Other People's Kids (OPK)?	11	(6)
SECTION ONE: Identifying the Enemy
The Hellbound Tyke	17	(10)
Little Monsters	17	(3)
Agitators	20	(3)
They're Just Asking for You to Hate Them	23	(4)
The Hidden Menace	27	(12)
Disconcerting Children	27	(5)
What the Hell Is Wrong with This Kid?	32	(2)
So Good It Hurts (Saints, Cripples, and Child Stars)	34	(5)
SECTION TWO: Public Places
Shopping	39	(12)
Movies and Theaters	51	(8)
Public and Private Transportation	59	(11)
Restaurants and Cafes	70	(5)
Theme Parks and Other Places You Go to Have Fun	75	(5)
Places You Go to Relax	80	(6)
Ouiz for Parents: Not My Baby!	86	(9)
SECTION THREE: Private Places
My House, My Rules	95	(7)
Hello, Good-bye	102	(11)
This Is When She Crowned	113	(14)
SECTION FOUR: How to Deal
Turning the Tables	127	(10)
1. On Kids	127	(5)
2. On Parents	132	(5)
Epilogue	137
About the Author