I Killed : True Stories of the Road from America's Top Comics

by SHYDNER, RITCHSCHIFF, MARK

• ISBN13: 9780307341990
• ISBN10: 0307341992
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2006-10-03
• Publisher: Crown

Summary

The biggest names in standup comedy reveal the howlingly funny, completely shocking, and disturbingly bizarre moments they've experienced on the road.

Table of Contents

Foreword
JERRY SEINFELD	xiii
And Further Delaying Tactics
MARK SCHIFF and RITCH SHYDNER	xvii
Hey, Mr. Cooper!
LARRY MILLER	1	(3)
My First Road Trip
RON SHOCK	4	(4)
This Ain't My First Gig
DAVID TYREE	8	(2)
My Ride Is Here
ANT	10	(2)
Life with Rodney
ROBERT SCHIMMEL	12	(3)
A Lost Love
JAY LENO	15	(4)
Joke's on Me
MACK DRYDEN	19	(1)
The 2oo-Pound Heckle
BOB GOLDTHWAIT	19	(2)
The Mark of a Genius
JACKIE MARTLING	21	(1)
Get in the Car
MARGARET SMITH	22	(2)
Shag Can Stop Bullets
CARLOS MENCIA	24	(1)
A Tip from Bob Hope
DAN BRADLEY (as told to Jason Dixon)	25	(2)
Only Superman Onstage
DANIEL TOSH	27	(4)
Blame Them for My Funny
BOB MARLEY	31	(2)
Something I Said?
JERRY SEINFELD	33	(2)
No Love from a Llama
JOHN BOWMAN	35	(4)
Alabama Waitress
BARRY MARDER	39	(2)
The Pissed-off Pirate and Me
CATHRYN MICHON	41	(2)
Is She Still Drunk?
ALEX COLE	43	(1)
Poker Flats Did Just That
MARCIE SMOLIN	44	(2)
Funny Goes to the Front of the Line
BRANT VON HOFFMAN	46	(1)
I'm the Motherfucking Man
CHRIS ROCK	47	(3)
A Night at the Precinct
BRETT BUTLER	50	(3)
Henny Worked Clean
T. SEAN SHANNON	53	(1)
The Perfect Intro for Sam
RALPHIE MAY	54	(2)
Lefkowitz Comedy
PAT COOPER	56	(1)
Man Overboard
RAY ROMANO	56	(1)
The Show Must Go On
RITA RUDNER	57	(2)
The Real Andy Kaufman Has Stood Up
BOB ZMUDA	59	(3)
The Real High
RITCH SHYDNER	62	(2)
Entertaining the Mob
ALLAN HAVEY	64	(6)
Early Digs
PAULA POUNDSTONE	70	(2)
For the Kids
TOM PAPA	72	(2)
Tanking It
DON BARNHART JR.	74	(2)
Welcome to My World
JEFF FOXWORTHY	76	(5)
Comic Material
DENNIS MILLER	81	(1)
Goodnight Charlie
OPHIRA EISENBERG	82	(4)
Zippity-Doo-Dah
RUSTY WARREN	86	(1)
The Comic Stripper
EDDIE BRILL	87	(1)
State Fair Comedy
RICHARD LEWIS	88	(2)
Peer Laughter
BILLY MARTIN	90	(3)
Is There a Comic in the Audience?
TOM STERN	93	(3)
Don't Worry if They Suck
PAUL REISER	96	(3)
Giving My Fans Away
PAUL RODRIGUEZ	99	(3)
A Clinging Love
JOHN HEFFRON	102	(2)
They Weren't Sedated
RITCH SHYDNER	104	(4)
Wrong Move on the Wrong Guy
TIM ALLEN	108	(1)
Pay Fight
GEORGE WESTERHOLM	109	(1)
Comedy House Calls
CHRISTOPHER TITUS	110	(4)
Willie and Richard at The Comedy Store
CHARLIE HILL	114	(1)
A Shining Star
SHELLEY BERMAN	115	(1)
Rodney and Me
JACKIE MARTLING	116	(4)
Bad Timing
COLIN QUINN	120	(2)
A Larry David Crowd
CHRIS ALBRECHT	122	(1)
Moving on Black Time
LISA LAMPANELLI	123	(1)
The Wile E. Coyote of Comedy
PAUL KOZAK	124	(2)
Pryor and the Fire
HARRIS PEET	126	(1)
Don Adams Hated Standup
RON ZIMMERMAN	127	(3)
You Heckle Me, You Heckle Dean
BILL MAHER	130	(3)
A Lost Toy
THE AMAZING JONATHAN	133	(2)
The Star Returns
JONATHAN WINTERS	135	(2)
Upstaging Rich Little
KEVIN POLLACK	137	(4)
The Vanishing Gig
VINCE MORANTO	141	(2)
Driving Miss Stripper
KELLY MONTEITH	143	(2)
The Dream of Doing Standup
LARRY DAVID	145	(1)
Eighty-Proof Review
RON WHITE	146	(4)
Sunday Night Is Blow-Job Night
CLAY HEERY	150	(5)
Late-Night Dining
MARK RUSSELL	155	(1)
The Funny Side of Typing
JAY THOMAS	156	(3)
Promo at a Funeral
DANTE GARZA	159	(1)
The N Word Wins
HEATH HYCHE	160	(3)
Roseanne, Rodney, and Pritikin
LOUIE ANDERSON	163	(2)
Live Nude Comedy
MARCIE SMOLIN	165	(1)
I Said What?
HENRY CHO	166	(1)
Opening for Prince
JUDY CARTER	167	(2)
A Special Night
JONATHAN SOLOMON	169	(1)
The Irish Tenor
KEVIN NEALON	170	(1)
Driving Johnny Home
BRUCE SMIRNOFF	171	(4)
You Follow the Burning Bush
BOB SAGET	175	(3)
A Modest Proposal
PATTON OSWALT	178	(1)
Spartacus Finally Gets a Laugh
STEVEN ALAN GREEN	179	(1)
100% Cotton
MIKE MYERS	180	(6)
Check the Oil and Clean the Punch Lines
KIP ADOTTA	186	(2)
It's Not Decaf
GEORGE LOPEZ	188	(2)
Classy Gig
MICHAEL PATRICK KING	190	(2)
A Comic No-Show
DIANE NICHOLS	192	(1)
Save the Goldfish
TOM ARNOLD	193	(2)
Don't Heckle the Driver
JUDY TENUTA	195	(1)
A Trained Smart-ass
CARL LABOVE	195	(1)
Armed and Affectionate
D.L. HUGHLEY	196	(1)
Is That What I Think It Is?
DOUG STANHOPE	197	(4)
Even a Politician Has to Pay
EARTHQUAKE	201	(1)
Sorry About the Funny
DREW CAREY	202	(4)
Stage Clothes
GEORGE WALLACE	206	(1)
Joke Pimp
JOE BOLSTER	207	(3)
Motorcycle Mayhem
JIMMY SHUBERT	210	(4)
Follow That
CHRISSY BURNS	214	(1)
Jokes for an Orgy
RICK OVERTON	215	(1)
My Mom Loves George Carlin
DENNIS BLAIR	216	(1)
Swanee, How I Hate Ya!
KATHY GRIFFIN	217	(2)
The Joke Is in the House
PAUL MOONEY	219	(1)
Doing Ron White
FRANK LUNNEY	220	(1)
The First Rule of a Show
STEVEN WRIGHT	221	(1)
A Little Comedy from the Audience
VIC HENLEY	222	(1)
Hooked on Love
STEVE WILSON	223	(2)
Not That Kind of Girl
MIKE PREMINGER	225	(2)
The Laugh Is on Me
HELEN KEARNEY	227	(3)
The One-Handed Clap
JIM O'BRIEN	230	(1)
A Fool for the Road
LARRY THE CABLE GUY	230	(1)
Any Publicity Is Good, but...
TONY ROBINSON	231	(1)
Funny Asa Guy
MISHNA WOLF	232	(2)
Where the Tuscaloosa
DOBIE "MR. LUCKY" MAXWELL	234	(5)
Keep the Crowds Down
KENNY KRAMER	239	(2)
Buddy Hackett's Late-Night Dining
LONDON LEE	241	(2)
Here's Last Night's Show
MIKE MCDONALD	243	(1)
The Joke Was on Me
RODNEY CARRINGTON	244	(1)
Making Friends with Kenny G
MIKE ROWE	245	(1)
She Dead in My Bed
DOUG WILLIAMS	246	(3)
Don't Ask Him to Do a Second Show
JOHN FOX	249	(1)
Thongs
JENNIFER RAWLINGS	250	(1)
Heeeeere's David
DAVID STEINBERG	251	(2)
Traveling with My Father
MARK SCHIFF	253	(3)
The Lost Fishhook
JOAN MAURER	256	(1)
Killing at a Funeral
VICKI BARBOLAK	257	(2)
Laughs in Bosnia
BERNIE MCGRENEHAN	259	(4)
Acknowledgments	263
Plus bits and pieces from...
ORNY ADAMS
TIM ALLEN
KERRY AWN
IAN BAGG
GREG BEHRENDT
JOHN BIZARRE
LEWIS BLACK
ALONZO BODDEN
PAT BUCKLES
KATHY BUCKLEY
BRETT BUTLER
RED BUTTONS
TOM CALTABIANO
MARK CORDES
DAVE COULIER
JIM DAVID
PHYLLIS DILLER
TOM DREESEN
MACK DRYDEN
JEFF DUNHAM
JIM EDWARDS
DAVID FELDMAN
HUGH FINK
PETER J. FOGEL
JEFF FOX WORTHY
JEFF GARLAND
ARGUS HAMILTON
JON HAYMAN
CLAY HEERY
PETER HEFTY
NICK HINES
MARYELLEN HOOPER
RICHARD JENI
HIRAM KASTEN
JONATHAN KATZ
JAMIE KENNEDY
BRIAN KILEY
ANDY KINDLER
SUE KOLINSKY
MIKE LANG WORTHY
LARRY THE CABLE GUY
CONRAD LAWRENCE
NATASHA LEGGERO
CAROL LEIFER
JON MANFRELLOTTI
MARC MARON
DICK MARTIN
SHELAGH MARTIN
LENNY MAXWELL
STEVE MOORE
JOE MULLIGAN
JOEY NOVICK
JIM O'BRIEN
GREG OTTO
HARRIS PEET
KEVIN POLLACK
FRANK POYNTON
LARRY REEB
BILLY RIBACK
JOAN RIVERS
KEVIN ROONEY
BOB SAGET
LEW SCHNEIDER
T. SEAN SHANNON
RONDELL SHERIDAN
WILL SHRINER
SINBAD
THE SKLAR BROTHERS
BOBBY SLAYTON
MARGARET SMITH
CARRIE SNOW
ALLAN STEPHANS
JEFF STILLSON
JASON STUART
JUDY TENUTA
RICH VOS
RUSTY WARREN
BROTHER WEASE
STEVEN WRIGHT
ROBERT WUHL and BOB ZANY