Intercultural Couples: Exploring Diversity in Intimate Relationships

by Karis; Terri A.

• ISBN13: 9780789029409
• ISBN10: 0789029405
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 2008-12-05
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

While cross-cultural relations were once assumed to be inherently problematic, in recent years these couples have increased in both numbers and social acceptance, and there is now a growing awareness of how little we really know about them. Addressing this gap in our knowledge, this book presents 12 chapters focusing on cross-cultural couple formations (i.e., a partner from the U.S. and another from abroad). Highlighting both the struggles and successes of couples, this book challenges the principle of homogamy, helping the reader gain a deeper understanding and respect for intercultural couples. The chapters tackle a broad range of topics and issues, including systemic considerations of the phenomenon of cross-cultural couples, bilingual couples, interfaith relationships, struggles in such couple formations, different methods of approaching solutions, and the use of the internet to meet partners from diverse backgrounds.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. xiii
Contributors	p. xv
Introduction	p. xvii
Theoretical Frameworks for Understanding Intercultural Couples
A Systems Theory Analysis of Intercultural Couple Relationships	p. 3
The Diversity of Intercultural Couple Systems	p. 4
The Value of a Comparative Approach	p. 6
Ecosystems	p. 7
Cultural Differences about Many Things	p. 7
Families of Origin in the Couple System	p. 8
Gender Relations and Patriarchy in Cultures of Origin	p. 9
Being Different from Most or All Surrounding Couples	p. 10
Power in the Couple System	p. 11
Wealth Differences	p. 11
Whose Cultural Territory Are They in?	p. 12
Whose Language Is the Language of the Couple's Life?	p. 13
Insulation from a Partner's Power	p. 14
The Evolving Couple System	p. 15
A Lifetime of Unfolding Challenges and Systemic Change	p. 15
Life Cycle Events	p. 17
Intercultural Couples as Ecosystem for Others around Them	p. 18
Conclusion	p. 18
References	p. 19
Ambiguity as a Solution to the "Problem" of Intercultural Weddings	p. 21
Intercultural Weddings	p. 22
Case Study	p. 24
Conclusion	p. 28
Notes	p. 29
References	p. 29
A Mindful Approach to Managing Conflict in Intercultural Intimate Couples	p. 31
A Mindful Approach: Conceptual Bases	p. 31
Mindfulness: A Starting Point	p. 32
Mindfulness: An Integrative Viewpoint	p. 33
Approaching Intercultural-Intimate Conflicts: Invisible Obstacles	p. 34
Individualism-Collectivism Value Dimension	p. 35
Different Expectations on Love	p. 38
Different Expectations on Autonomy-Connection	p. 39
Communication Decoding Problems	p. 39
Understanding Cultural/Ethnic Identity Issues: Extending Identity Support	p. 42
Ethnic Identity Conceptualization and Identity Support	p. 43
Conclusion	p. 45
Author Note	p. 47
References	p. 47
Examining Prevalent Assumptions about Intercultural Relationships
"I Always Wanted to Marry a Cowboy": Bilingual Couples, Language, and Desire	p. 53
Bilingualism and Romantic Desire	p. 54
Language Desire	p. 57
A Bilingual Relationship as a "Way in"	p. 58
A Desire to Raise Bilingual Children	p. 62
Conclusion	p. 66
Notes	p. 67
References	p. 67
Transcription Conventions	p. 70
The Luckiest Girls in the World	p. 71
Arranged Marriage	p. 72
Jessie's Story	p. 75
Polygamy	p. 78
Lauren's Story	p. 81
Conclusion	p. 85
References	p. 87
"We're Just a Couple of People": An Exploration of Why Some Black-White Couples Reject the Terms Cross-Cultural and Interracial	p. 89
A Theory of Metaphor	p. 90
Categories as Containers	p. 91
Interracial and Cross-Cultural as Metaphors	p. 91
What Is Highlighted by Cross-Cultural?	p. 93
Culture as a Physical Location	p. 93
Relationships within the Cultural Location	p. 96
What Is Obscured by Cross-Cultural?	p. 97
Shared American Culture	p. 97
Asymmetrical Racial Categories	p. 98
The Dominance of Whiteness	p. 99
Asymmetrical Racial and Ethnic Identities	p. 100
Border Patrolling: The Difficulty of Crossing Racial Boundaries	p. 101
Why Some Black-White Couples Reject Cross-Cultural and Interracial	p. 102
Rejecting or Challenging Categorization	p. 102
Rjecting an Emphasis on Power Relations	p. 104
Rejecting Interracial Because It Doesn't Fit Their Experiences	p. 105
Rejecting an Emphasis on Homogeneity	p. 106
Rejecting Uncomfortable Racial Realities	p. 107
Conclusion	p. 107
References	p. 108
Electronic Attachments: Desire, the Other, and the Internet Marital Trade in the 21st Century	p. 111
Cyberspatial (Re)Presentations and Seductions: The Internet as Contested Border of Social Relations and Governance	p. 112
The Internet: Borderless Site of the Neoliberal "Free Market"?	p. 113
Disruptions of Worlds and Intimacies: Technologies of Social Relations	p. 118
Crossings and Intimacies: International Dating and Electronic Exchanges	p. 121
Seductions and Simulations: Borders, Bodies, and Other Sites of Contestation?	p. 122
International Coupling and International Border Crossings as Contradictions	p. 136
Conclusion	p. 137
Notes	p. 139
References	p. 140
Particular Cultural Combinations
Russian-American Marriages: Cultures and Conflicts	p. 147
Historical Background	p. 147
American Men Seek Russian Brides	p. 149
American Men and Russian Women	p. 153
Disappointments and Disasters	p. 155
American Husbands and Russian Wives	p. 157
Russian Husbands and American Wives	p. 159
Different Types of Couples	p. 160
Causes of Conflict	p. 162
Friends and Family	p. 162
References	p. 164
Constructions of Difference Among Latino/Latina Immigrant and Non-Hispanic White Couples	p. 167
Marrying a Latino or Latina in the United States	p. 168
Latinos in the United States: Who Are They?	p. 169
Constructions of Difference in Relational Contexts	p. 172
Differing Clans and Conceptions of Family: Nuclear vs. Extended Family	p. 174
Immigration: The Couple as the United Nations	p. 175
Emerging Themes in the Life Cycle: The Discovery of New Meanings of Difference	p. 176
Courtship Differences and Family Responses to Dating	p. 177
Differences between Traditional Latino Courtships and More Liberal American Dating Practices	p. 177
Personal and Family Fears Based on Stereotypes	p. 177
Marriage: The Newlyweds	p. 180
Becoming a New Unit: The Ongoing Negotiation of Cultural and Family Boundaries	p. 181
Communication and Interaction Styles	p. 182
Language	p. 183
Raising Children	p. 183
Conclusion	p. 184
Note	p. 185
References	p. 185
Asian Indians in Intercultural Marriages: Intersections of Acculturation, Gender, and Exogamy	p. 189
History and Demographics	p. 190
Statistics on Intermarriage	p. 191
Understanding Asian Indian Families	p. 192
Family Structure and Dynamics	p. 192
Collectivism	p. 193
Hierarchy	p. 194
Revisiting Acculturation	p. 194
Couples of Asian Indian Origin: A Focus on Acculturation and Gender	p. 195
Asian Indians in Interracial Relationships	p. 200
Conclusion	p. 203
References	p. 204
Bridges Crossed, Paths Traveled: Muslim Intercultural Couples	p. 207
Reactions to Interfaith Marriage	p. 208
Religious and Community Resources for Interfaith Couples	p. 209
Stages of Marital Transition	p. 210
The Honeymoon Phase	p. 210
The Setting-In Phase	p. 210
The Life-Pattern Phase	p. 213
Challenges for Muslim Intercultural Couples	p. 214
Belief System and Values	p. 214
Gender Relationships	p. 214
Time Orientations	p. 216
Political Views	p. 217
Economics and Financial Issues	p. 217
Extended Family Relationships	p. 218
Socioeconomic and Class Status	p. 219
Spirituality and Religion	p. 220
Children and the Family's Multicultural Context	p. 221
Problem-Solving, Language, and Communication	p. 222
Health and Stress	p. 223
Guidelines for Better Connections and Happier Relationships	p. 224
Prerequisites for Permanent Commitment	p. 226
Muslim Intercultural Couples' Incentives	p. 226
Conclusion	p. 227
References	p. 228
U.S./Caribbean Couples: Perspectives from Caribbean Psychology and Mainstream Social Psychology	p. 229
Interpersonal Relationships in Caribbean Psychology	p. 230
Blacks in Jamaica and White Americans	p. 231
Black Caribbean Immigrants and Black Americans	p. 234
Social Exchange in Relationships	p. 236
Summary	p. 238
Accommodation in Personal Relationships	p. 239
Cultural Values as Individual Difference Influences on Accommodation	p. 240
Within-Couple Differences in the Impact of Cultural Values on Accommodation Among U.S./Caribbean Couples	p. 241
Potential Influences of Socioeconomic Status, Race, and Nationality on the Impact of Cultural Values on Accommodation among U.S./Caribbean Couples	p. 244
Summary	p. 246
Beyond Exchange and Interdependence Theories: Results of Initial Research on U.S./Caribbean Relationships	p. 246
Conclusion	p. 247
Notes	p. 248
References	p. 249
Author Note	p. 251
Index	p. 253
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