Interpersonal Communication : Relating to Others

by Beebe, Steven A.; Beebe, Susan J.; Redmond, Mark V.

• ISBN13: 9780205417926
• ISBN10: 0205417922
• Edition: 5th
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-01-01
• Publisher: Allyn & Bacon

Summary

"Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others" emphasizes the importance of focusing on others in order to understand and improve interpersonal communication. Self concept, perception, listening and responding skills, verbal and nonverbal communication skills, conflict management, interpersonal relationships, and managing relationship challenges. Interpersonal communication.

Table of Contents

Preface	xvii
About the Authors	xxvii
Part One Interpersonal Communication Foundations	3	(118)
Introduction to Interpersonal Communication	4	(28)
Defining Interpersonal Communication	6	(3)
Interpersonal Communication Is a Distinctive Form of Communication	6	(2)
Interpersonal Communication Involves Mutual Influence Between Individuals	8	(1)
Interpersonal Communication Is the Fundamental Means We Use to Manage Our Relationships	8	(1)
The Importance of Interpersonal Communication to Our Lives	9	(1)
An Evolving Model for Human and Interpersonal Communication	10	(4)
Human Communication as Action: Message Transfer	10	(2)
Human Communication as Interaction: Message Exchange	12	(1)
Human Communication as Transaction: Message Creation	13	(1)
Mediated Interpersonal Communication: A New Frontier	14	(4)
Applying Theory and Research: Does Your Level of Communication Apprehension Predict the Type of Relationships You Have with Others Online?	16	(2)
Principles of Interpersonal Communication	18	(4)
Interpersonal Communication Connects Us to Others	18	(1)
Understanding Diversity: The World Is Here	19	(1)
Interpersonal Communication Is Irreversible	19	(1)
Interpersonal Communication Is Complicated	20	(1)
Interpersonal Communication Is Governed by Rules	21	(1)
Interpersonal Communication Involves Both Content and Relationship Dimensions	22	(1)
Interpersonal Communication Myths	22	(2)
Myth: ``More Words Will Make the Meaning Clearer''	22	(1)
Myth: ``Meanings Are in Words''	22	(1)
Myth: ``Information Equals Communication''	23	(1)
Myth: ``Interpersonal Relationship Problems Are Always Communication Problems''	23	(1)
How to Improve Your Own Interpersonal Communication Competence	24	(8)
Become Knowledgeable	25	(1)
Become Skilled	25	(1)
Become Motivated	26	(1)
Become Flexible	26	(1)
Become Ethical	26	(1)
Become Other-Oriented	26	(2)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Consider Others' Needs and Perspectives Without Abandoning Your Own Integrity	28	(1)
Summary	29	(1)
For Discussion and Review	30	(1)
For Your Journal	30	(1)
Learning with Others	30	(1)
Weblinks	31	(1)
Interpersonal Communication and Self	32	(34)
Self-Concept: Who Are You?	34	(9)
Building Your Skills: Who Are You?	34	(1)
One or Many Selves?	35	(1)
Building Your Skills: Dimensions of Your Self	36	(1)
How Your Self-Concept Develops	37	(3)
Applying Theory and Research: Symbolic Interaction Theory	40	(2)
Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Willingness to Communicate	42	(1)
Self-Esteem: Your Self-Worth	43	(1)
How to Improve Your Self-Esteem	44	(5)
Engage in Self-Talk	44	(1)
Visualize a Positive Image of Yourself	45	(1)
Avoid Comparing Yourself with Others	45	(1)
Reframe Appropriately	46	(1)
Develop Honest Relationships	47	(1)
Let Go of the Past	47	(1)
Seek Support	48	(1)
How Self-Concept and Self-Esteem Affect Interpersonal Communication and Relationships	49	(5)
Self and Others	49	(1)
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy	50	(1)
Self and Interpretation of Messages	50	(1)
Self and Interpersonal Needs	51	(1)
Self and Communication Style	52	(1)
Building Your Skills: Sociocommunicative Orientation	53	(1)
Self-Disclosure: Connecting Self to Others Through Talk	54	(4)
Understanding the Depth and Breadth of Self-Disclosure: The Social Penetration Model of Self-Disclosure	54	(2)
Understanding Diversity: Cultural Differences in Self-Disclosure	56	(1)
Understanding How We Learn About Ourselves from Others: The Johari Window Model of Self-Disclosure	56	(2)
Characteristics of Self-Disclosure	58	(8)
Self-Disclosure Usually Moves in Small Increments	58	(1)
Self-Disclosure Moves from Less Personal to More Personal Information	59	(1)
Self-Disclosure Is Reciprocal	60	(1)
Self-Disclosure Involves Risk	60	(1)
Self-Disclosure Involves Trust	60	(1)
Self-Disclosure Over Time: Enhancing Intimacy	61	(1)
Building Your Skills: Self-Disclosure Patterns	62	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: A World View	63	(1)
Summary	64	(1)
For Discussion and Review	64	(1)
For Your Journal	65	(1)
Learning with Others	65	(1)
Weblinks	65	(1)
Interpersonal Communication and Perception	66	(22)
Understanding Interpersonal Perception	68	(4)
Stage 1: Selecting	69	(1)
Stage 2: Organizing	69	(2)
Stage 3: Interpreting	71	(1)
Perception and Interpersonal Communication	72	(1)
Perceiving Others	72	(5)
How We Form Impressions of Others	73	(1)
How We Describe Others	73	(1)
How We Interpret the Behavior of Others	74	(2)
Understanding Diversity: The Power of Perspective	76	(1)
Identifying Barriers to Accurate Perception	77	(6)
Ignoring Information	77	(1)
Overgeneralizing	78	(1)
Oversimplifying	78	(1)
Stereotyping	78	(1)
Imposing Consistency	79	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Moving Beyond a First Impression	79	(1)
Focusing on the Negative	80	(1)
Making a Fundamental Attribution Error	80	(1)
Building Your Skills: Preconceived Explanations	80	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: Politeness Theory	81	(1)
Exhibiting Self-Serving Bias	82	(1)
Improving Your Perception Skills	83	(5)
Link Details with the Big Picture	83	(1)
Become Aware of Others' Perceptions of You	84	(1)
Increase Your Awareness	84	(1)
Become Other-Oriented	84	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Ten Questions That Can Help You Become Other-Oriented	84	(1)
Check Your Perceptions	85	(1)
Summary	86	(1)
For Discussion and Review	86	(1)
For Your Journal	87	(1)
Learning with Others	87	(1)
Weblinks	87	(1)
Interpersonal Communication and Cultural Diversity: Adapting to Others	88	(33)
Understanding Diversity: A Diversity Almanac	90	(1)
The Nature of Culture	91	(8)
Cultural Elements	91	(1)
Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Communication with Strangers	91	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Our Range of Differences	92	(1)
Cultural Values	93	(3)
Applying Theory and Research: Uncertainty Reduction Theory	96	(1)
Cultural Contexts	97	(2)
Barriers to Effective Intercultural Communication	99	(4)
Ethnocentrism	99	(1)
Different Communication Codes	100	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Ethnocentric Thinking	100	(1)
Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Ethnocentrism	101	(1)
Stereotyping and Prejudice	102	(1)
Assuming Similarity	103	(1)
Improving Intercultural Competence	103	(18)
Developing Knowledge: Strategies to Understand Others Who Differ from Us	104	(3)
Developing Motivation: Strategies to Accept Others Who Differ from Us	107	(1)
Building Your Skills: Can You Tolerate Ambiguity?	108	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Tao: A Universal Moral Code	109	(1)
Building Your Skills: Measuring Mindfulness	110	(1)
Developing Skill: Strategies to Adapt to Others Who Differ from Us	111	(1)
Building Your Skills: Predicting How Others Feel	112	(2)
Becoming Other-Oriented: The Platinum Rule	114	(2)
Summary	116	(1)
For Discussion and Review	117	(1)
For Your Journal	117	(1)
Learning with Others	118	(1)
Weblinks	119	(2)
Part Two Interpersonal Communication Skills	121	(134)
Listening and Responding Skills	122	(34)
Listening Defined	124	(2)
Selecting	124	(1)
Attending	124	(1)
Understanding	124	(1)
Remembering	125	(1)
Responding	126	(1)
Listening Styles	126	(2)
People-Oriented Listeners	126	(1)
Action-Oriented Listeners	127	(1)
Content-Oriented Listeners	127	(1)
Time-Oriented Listeners	127	(1)
Listening Barriers	128	(6)
Understanding Diversity: Who Listens Better, Men or Women?	129	(1)
Being Self-Absorbed	129	(1)
Unchecked Emotions	130	(1)
Building Your Skills: Identifying Your Emotional ``Hot Buttons''	131	(1)
Criticizing the Speaker	131	(1)
Differing Speech Rate and Thought Rate	132	(1)
Shifting Attention	132	(1)
Information Overload	133	(1)
External Noise	133	(1)
Listener Apprehension	133	(1)
Improving Listening, Comprehension, and Responding Skills	134	(5)
Stop	134	(1)
Look	135	(1)
Listen	136	(1)
Ask Questions	137	(1)
Reflect Content by Paraphrasing	137	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Identifying Message Details and Major Ideas	138	(1)
Improving Empathic Listening and Responding Skills	139	(6)
Building Your Skills: Test Your Empathy Ability	140	(1)
Understand Your Partner's Feelings: Imagine How You Would Feel	141	(1)
Paraphrase Emotions	141	(1)
Building Your Skills: Sympathy versus Empathy	142	(1)
Building Your Skills: Listening and Paraphrasing Content and Emotion	143	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: Listening to Others' Stories as Co-Storyteller	144	(1)
Responding to Confirm or Disconfirm Others	145	(4)
Provide Confirming Responses	146	(1)
Avoid Disconfirming Responses	147	(2)
Improving Critical Listening and Responding Skills	149	(1)
Identify Useful and Flawed Information	149	(1)
Avoid Jumping to Conclusions	149	(1)
Improving Your Responding Skills	150	(6)
Provide Well-Timed Responses	150	(1)
Provide Usable Information	151	(1)
Avoid Unnecessary Details	151	(1)
Be Descriptive Rather Than Evaluative	151	(1)
Building Your Skills: Practicing Your Responding Skills	152	(1)
Summary	153	(1)
For Discussion and Review	153	(1)
For Your Journal	154	(1)
Learning with Others	154	(1)
Weblinks	155	(1)
Verbal Communication Skills	156	(30)
Understanding How Words Work	157	(4)
Words Are Symbols	158	(1)
Words Are Arbitrary	158	(1)
Words Are Context Bound	159	(1)
Words Are Culturally Bound	159	(1)
Words Communicate Denotative and Connotative Meaning	160	(1)
Words Communicate Concrete or Abstract Meaning	161	(1)
Recognizing the Power of Words	161	(3)
Words Have Power to Create	161	(1)
Words Have Power to Affect Thoughts and Actions	162	(1)
Words Have Power to Affect and Reflect Culture	163	(1)
Avoiding Word Barriers	164	(7)
Bypassing: One Word, Two Thoughts	164	(1)
Building Your Skills: The Talkaholic Scale	165	(1)
Lack of Precision: Uncertain Meaning	165	(2)
Allness: The Language of Generalization	167	(1)
Static Evaluation: The Language of Rigidity	167	(1)
Polarization: The Language of Extremes	168	(1)
Biased Language: Insensitivity Toward Others	168	(3)
Using Words to Establish Supportive Relationships	171	(7)
Describe Your Own Feelings, Rather Than Evaluate the Behavior of Others	172	(1)
Building Your Skills: Practice Using ``I'' Language	173	(1)
Solve Problems Rather Than Try to Control Others	173	(1)
Be Genuine Rather Than Manipulative	174	(1)
Empathize Rather Than Remain Detached from Others	174	(1)
Building Your Skills: Supportive/Defensive Communication Role-Play	174	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: The Power of a Kind Word	175	(1)
Building Your Skills: Expressing Your Emotions	176	(1)
Be Flexible Rather Than Rigid Toward Others	176	(1)
Building Your Skills: Using Word Pictures to Express Your Feelings	177	(1)
Present Yourself as Equal Rather Than Superior	177	(1)
Using Words to Be Appropriately Assertive	178	(8)
Building Your Skills: How to Assert Yourself if You Are Sexually Harassed	179	(1)
Behaving Assertively: Five Steps	180	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Bumper Sticker Slogans	181	(1)
Building Your Skills: How to Assert Yourself	182	(1)
Summary	183	(1)
For Discussion and Review	184	(1)
For Your Journal	184	(1)
Learning with Others	184	(1)
Weblinks	185	(1)
Nonverbal Communication Skills	186	(32)
Why Learn About Nonverbal Communication?	187	(5)
Nonverbal Messages Communicate Our Feelings and Attitudes	188	(1)
Nonverbal Messages Are More Believable	188	(1)
Nonverbal Messages Work with Verbal Messages to Create Meaning	189	(1)
People Respond and Adapt to Others Through Nonverbal Messages	190	(1)
Nonverbal Messages Play a Major Role in Interpersonal Relationships	190	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: Adapting to Intimacy	191	(1)
The Challenge of Interpreting Nonverbal Messages	192	(3)
Nonverbal Messages Are Often Ambiguous	192	(1)
Nonverbal Messages Are Continuous	193	(1)
Nonverbal Cues Are Multichanneled	193	(1)
Nonverbal Interpretation Is Culture Based	193	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Cultural Differences in Interpreting Nonverbal Messages	194	(1)
Nonverbal Communication Codes	195	(12)
Body Movement, Posture, and Gestures	195	(1)
Building Your Skills: Communicating Interest	196	(2)
Eye Contact	198	(2)
Facial Expression	200	(1)
Building Your Skills: Facial Expression Quiz	200	(1)
Vocal Cues	201	(1)
Personal Space	202	(2)
Territory	204	(1)
Touch	205	(1)
Appearance	205	(2)
Interpreting Nonverbal Communication	207	(3)
Immediacy	207	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Gender Differences and Nonverbal Communication	208	(1)
Arousal	209	(1)
Dominance	209	(1)
Improving Your Ability to Interpret Nonverbal Messages	210	(8)
Consider Nonverbal Cues in Context	211	(1)
Look for Clusters of Nonverbal Cues	211	(1)
Consider Past Experiences When Interpreting Nonverbal Cues	211	(1)
Check Your Perceptions with Others	211	(2)
Be Aware That the Nonverbal Expression of Emotion Is Contagious	213	(1)
Look for Cues That May Communicate Lying	213	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Checking Perceptions	213	(2)
Summary	215	(1)
For Discussion and Review	216	(1)
For Your Journal	216	(1)
Learning with Others	216	(1)
Weblinks	217	(1)
Conflict Management Skills	218	(37)
What Is Conflict?	220	(1)
Myths About Conflict	221	(2)
Myth 1: ``Conflict is Always a Sign of a Poor Interpersonal Relationship''	221	(1)
Myth 2: ``Conflict Can Always Be Avoided''	221	(1)
Myth 3: ``Conflict Always Occurs Because of Misunderstandings''	222	(1)
Myth 4: ``Conflict Can Always Be Resolved''	222	(1)
Myth 5: ``Conflict Is Always Bad''	222	(1)
Types of Conflict	223	(5)
Pseudoconflict: Misunderstandings	223	(1)
Simple Conflict: Different Stands on the Issues	223	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Gender, Culture, and Conflict	224	(2)
Ego Conflict: Conflict Gets Personal	226	(2)
Conflict as a Process	228	(3)
Source: Prior Conditions	228	(1)
Beginning: Frustration Awareness	228	(1)
Middle: Active Conflict	228	(1)
End: Resolution	229	(1)
Aftermath: Follow-Up	229	(2)
Conflict Management Styles	231	(6)
Avoidance	231	(1)
Building Your Skills: Identifying Your Conflict Management Style	232	(1)
Accommodation	233	(1)
Competition	234	(1)
Compromise	235	(1)
Collaboration	235	(2)
Negotiation Strategies	237	(2)
Win-Lose Negotiation Strategies	237	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: Cultural Differences and Preferred Conflict Management Style	238	(1)
Win--Win Negotiation Strategies	239	(1)
Conflict Management Skills	239	(16)
Manage Your Emotions	240	(2)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Tips for Managing Anger	242	(1)
Manage Information	243	(2)
Be Empathic	245	(1)
Manage Goals	246	(1)
Manage the Problem	247	(3)
Summary	250	(1)
For Discussion and Review	251	(1)
For Your Journal	251	(1)
Learning with Others	252	(1)
Weblinks	253	(2)
Part Three Interpersonal Communication in Relationships	255	(126)
Understanding Interpersonal Relationships	256	(30)
An Interpersonal Relationship as a System and a Process	258	(1)
Relationships of Circumstance and Relationships of Choice	259	(1)
Intimacy and Attraction in Relationships	259	(7)
Short-Term Initial Attraction and Long-Term Maintenance Attraction	261	(1)
Elements of Interpersonal Attraction	262	(2)
Building Your Skills: Are Your Needs Complementary?	264	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Dating Customs Around the World	265	(1)
Interpersonal Power in Relationships	266	(6)
Principles of Interpersonal Power	266	(2)
Types of Power Relationships	268	(1)
Types of Power	269	(1)
Negotiating Power in Interpersonal Relationships	269	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: Power in Marital Relationships	270	(2)
Relationships with Friends, Lovers, and Family	272	(14)
Friends	273	(4)
Lovers: Romantic Relationships	277	(2)
Understanding Diversity: Improved Attitudes Toward Interracial Dating	279	(1)
Family Relationships	280	(2)
Building Your Skills: Origins of Your Interpersonal Communication Skills	282	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Intimacy and Power in Relationships	283	(1)
Summary	284	(1)
For Discussion and Review	284	(1)
For Your Journal	285	(1)
Learning with Others	285	(1)
Weblinks	285	(1)
Developing Interpersonal Relationships	286	(28)
Stages of Interpersonal Relationships	288	(5)
Relational Escalation	289	(2)
Building Your Skills: Graphing Your Relationship Changes	291	(1)
Relational De-Escalation	291	(2)
Theories of Interpersonal Relationship Development	293	(4)
Social Exchange Theory	293	(2)
Dialectical Theory	295	(2)
Strategies and Skills for Developing Interpersonal Relationships	297	(17)
Skills and Strategies Used Primarily During the Initiation Stage	298	(2)
Skills and Strategies Used in Both Initiating and Escalating Relationships	300	(1)
Building Your Skills: Questions to Keep the Conversation Going During a Date	301	(3)
Building Your Skills: Affinity-Seeking Observation	304	(1)
Applying Theory and Research: Initiation Stage: Male-Initiated versus Female-Initiated Date Requests	305	(1)
Building Your Skills: Anxiety Level and Familiarity	306	(1)
Skills and Strategies Specific to Escalating and Maintaining Relationships	307	(2)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Adapting Relational Strategies and Skills to Your Partner	309	(2)
Summary	311	(1)
For Discussion and Review	312	(1)
For Your Journal	312	(1)
Learning with Others	312	(1)
Weblinks	313	(1)
Managing Relationship Challenges	314	(34)
Relationship Challenges	316	(6)
Failure Events	316	(1)
Building Your Skills: Responding to Failure Events	317	(1)
Physical Separation and Distance	318	(1)
Relationships That Challenge Social Norms	319	(1)
Understanding Diversity: The Colors of Love	320	(2)
Building Your Skills: Friends with a Difference	322	(1)
The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication	322	(12)
Deception	323	(3)
Applying Theory and Research: When Lies Are Uncovered	326	(1)
Communication That Hurts Feelings	327	(2)
Aggressive and Argumentative Communication	329	(1)
Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Verbal Aggressiveness	330	(2)
Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Argumentativeness	332	(2)
De-Escalation and Termination of Relationships	334	(14)
Understanding Diversity: Gender and Ending Relationships	334	(1)
Responses to Relational Problems	335	(1)
The Decision to End a Relationship	336	(1)
How Relationships End	336	(1)
Understanding Diversity: Empathy and Sexual Orientation	337	(1)
Reasons for De-Escalating and Terminating Relationships	337	(2)
A Model of Ending Relationships	339	(1)
Strategies for Ending Relationships	340	(3)
Strategies for Post-Dissolution Recovery	343	(1)
Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Past Relationships	343	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: Considering Emotional Reactions	344	(1)
Summary	345	(1)
For Discussion and Review	346	(1)
For Your Journal	346	(1)
Learning with Others	346	(1)
Weblinks	347	(1)
Interpersonal Relationships at Home, on the Internet, and at Work	348	(33)
Interpersonal Relationships at Home	350	(9)
Family Defined	351	(1)
Family Types	351	(1)
A Model of Family Interaction	352	(1)
Building Your Skills: Identifying Your Family System	353	(2)
Building Your Skills: The Circumplex Model Applied to TV and Movie Families	355	(1)
Improving Family Communication	355	(3)
Applying Theory and Research: Family Rituals	358	(1)
Interpersonal Relationships on the Internet	359	(11)
Comparing Face-to-Face (FtF) Communication and Computer-Mediated Communication (CMC)	360	(1)
Challenges of Computer-Mediated Communication	361	(1)
Types of Computer-Mediated Communication	362	(3)
Using Computer-Mediated Communication to Initiate New Relationships	365	(1)
Building Your Skills: Some Hypotheses About How Text Influences Internet Relationships	366	(1)
Using Computer-Mediated Communication to Maintain Existing Relationships	367	(3)
Interpersonal Relationships at Work	370	(11)
Workplace Friendships	370	(1)
Workplace Romances	371	(1)
Upward Communication: Talking with Your Boss	371	(1)
Downward Communication: Talking with Your Subordinates	372	(1)
Horizontal Communication: Talking with Your Colleagues	373	(1)
Understanding Diversity: An Office-Speak Primer	374	(1)
Outward Communication: Talking with Your Customers	375	(1)
Becoming Other-Oriented: At Home, Online, and at Work	375	(1)
Summary	376	(1)
For Discussion and Review	377	(1)
For Your Journal	377	(1)
Learning with Others	378	(1)
Weblinks	379	(2)
Notes	381	(18)
Glossary	399	(8)
Index	407	(12)
Credits	419