It's My Life Now

by Dugan, Meg Kennedy, M.A.

• ISBN13: 9780415923583
• ISBN10: 0415923581
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2000-07-01
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

This book is for women who have recently left an abusive relationship and are attempting to face the challenge of putting their lives back together. During this difficult period, women who have managed to leave the relationship are faced with the scary and daunting prospect of living independently, rebuilding self-esteem and self-worth, and learning how to establish healthy relationships in the future. Many are tempted to return to the abuser and have to mend or re-establish relationships with friends or family. This book provides accessible practical information on how to protect yourself once you've left the relationship, how to get through the difficult emotions that accompany leaving an abusive relationship, and includes exercises that are designed to help women monitor their emotional progress as they get further away from their old relationships.

Author Biography

Meg Kennedy Dugan is Director of Counseling Services at New England College in New Hampshire.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	ix
Introduction	xi
Self-Exploration ``Healing in Progress''	xviii
Part I LOOKING BACK	1	(56)
Were You in an Abusive Relationship?	3	(14)
Self-Exploration ``Abusive Behaviors Inventory''	16	(1)
Are You Out of Danger Now?	17	(17)
Self-Exploration ``Assessing Your Risk''	30	(4)
How Could This Have Happened?	34	(9)
Self-Exploration ``What You Heard Growing Up''	41	(2)
The Hidden Horror: Sexual Abuse	43	(14)
Self-Exploration ``Self-Talk''	56	(1)
Part II NOW	57	(112)
Do You Still Love Him?	59	(7)
Self-Exploration ``Why You Loved Him''	65	(1)
Losing Your Partner, Your Dream, Your Life	66	(12)
Self-Exploration ``Expressing Your Feelings''	76	(2)
When Feelings Overwhelm You	78	(25)
Self-Exploration ``Assessing Your Feelings''	90	(13)
Signs of Unfinished Healing	103	(13)
Self-Exploration ``Is the Negative Talk Yours?''	112	(4)
Managing Your Stress	116	(23)
Self-Explorations
``Take Care of Yourself''	120	(1)
``Schedule Stressful Thoughts''	121	(1)
``Stressful Thoughts Inventory''	122	(1)
``Week Two: Thought Partitioning Assessment''	123	(1)
``Thought Stopping''	124	(2)
``Thought Substitution''	126	(2)
``There's Always Too Much to Do''	128	(2)
``Deep Breathing''	130	(2)
``Progressive Muscle Relaxation''	132	(2)
``Visualization''	134	(2)
``Meditation''	136	(1)
``Create Your Personal Relaxation Tape''	137	(1)
``Physical Exercise''	138	(1)
What About the Children?	139	(17)
Self-Exploration ``Child Assessment''	154	(2)
The Reactions of Others	156	(13)
Self-Exploration ``Evaluating Your Relationships''	167	(2)
Part III LOOKING FORWARD	169	(74)
Practical Considerations	171	(15)
Self-Exploration ``How Much Money Do You Need to Survive?''	182	(4)
Beginning to Heal	186	(15)
Self-Exploration ``Do You Need Professional Help?''	196	(5)
Believing in Yourself	201	(13)
Self-Exploration ``Who Are You?''	208	(6)
The Temptation to Go Back	214	(10)
Self-Exploration ``Considering Your Options''	223	(1)
Is He Still in Your Life?	224	(9)
Self-Exploration ``Planning Ahead for Contact''	231	(2)
Loving Again	233	(10)
Self-Exploration ``What to Look For and What to Avoid''	242	(1)
Postscript	243	(2)
Resources	245	(4)
Index	249