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Dead at Thirty-Two
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:36
About two hundred years ago (or was ityesterday?), Alice lived two doors away from us. She didntprofess to be a Christian, and those of us who knew her well knewshe had struggles, like the rest of us, which she didntalways win. But Christ loved her. And, Christian or not, heworked in her life, making her cheerful, sensitive, sympathetic,and generous. Like so many others, she had a hard life. She hadfour children, serious heart trouble, and a hard-drinking husbandwho gave her many a beating.
I can still see her in the street, leaningagainst her window with her arms folded, wisecracking with theneighbors, milkman, or anyone who showed the slightest interestin being friendly. More than once I caught her crying, wonderinghow she was going to get through the week with so little moneyand so many things to be done with it. She was thin, too thin,and her skin was clear and smooth, almost transparent. (With skinlike hers, we could easily see the bruises.) She kept her hairswept up, and her eyes were strikingly beautifulpale blueand big and round. She died undergoing her second heart surgery.I think she was thirty-two years old.
Alice reminds me of all the people Iveknown who, day after day, without end, struggle to keep theirheads above water. Never, in all their lives, are they able to goto a shop and buy something without first doing seriousarithmetic. Never, from the cradle to the grave, are they surethe money for rent, heat, food, and clothing is going to bethere. Its that endless grind that beats so many people,that takes the light out of their eyes. They march up from thegates of birth with sunshine on their faces, dreaming dreams,purposing purposes, but life just wears them down. Then we putthem in the ground at the age of thirty-two, look at each othersadly, and shrug in helplessness.
Its at times like these that you hungrilysearch for moments when you did something comforting for theAlices in your life, something kind, something that brought asmile or a happy, speechless look of gratitude. Not so you canbrag and think you werent such a bad neighbor after all.No, its just that it becomes important to know that peoplelike Alice didnt die without a moment of knowing somebodycared, without friendly arms to hold them while they sobbed.Its at times like these that your heart remembers and isglad for all the moments when cups of sugar were loaned orborrowed or packets of tea were halved.
Im sick and tired of comfortableChristians dismissing other peoples heartache as if it madeno difference in how those people respond to God. Im tiredof comfortable Christians receiving endless pulpit and booktherapy because they have a "tough time," while peoplelike Alice (who number in the multimillions) are given thetake-it-or-leave-it kind of offer of the gospel.
Take me, for example. As well as I think I knowwhat Im talking about in this matter, as deeply as I thinkI feel about it, I still slip into the notion that we all have anequal shot at life. That just isnt true! But if I know itisnt true, how can I forget that so quickly and easily? Whydo I look at people and assume that each of them has the samechance to hear and respond?
Didnt I hear that the people ofIsraelbeaten and despairing because of generations ofexploitation and oppressiondidnt I hear that when theGood News came, they werent able to hear it because oftheir pain?1 Their hard lives had beaten the hope out of them;their long, unchanging weeks and months and years made it toohard for them to believe. And God took all that into account!
Oh sweet Lord Jesus, what am I going to doabout what Im writing here? What are we who are readingthis going to do? Can you not enter our lives with greater visionand enable us to see Alice all around us? Are we deliberatelykeeping you out? Are we afraid to see? We seem to be able todismiss this whole matter with such ease. At least, I seem to beable to. I wish I could believe I am the only one, but I knowIm not.
Lord, have you been speaking to us all along,but because we have preferred to hear other things, you havedecided to let us go our way? Dont leave us this way.Its so ugly, and we long for your beauty.
Excerpted from Jesus, Hero of Thy Soul by Jim McGuiggan
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