Just One Little Thing: Finding a Happy Life in an Imperfect World, One Moment at a Time

by Buckley, Kelly S.

• ISBN13: 9781452544786
• ISBN10: 1452544786
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2012-02-18
• Publisher: Author Solutions

Summary

We've all been faced with moments in life where the rug gets pulled out from beneath our feet. And, sometimes, it is not only the rug that has been removed; the whole darn floor has disappeared too. Just One Little Thing is about one of those life changing groundless moments. The story begins on the 4th of July, when a phone call changes everything in Kelly Buckley's life. Devastated by the unexpected death of her son Stephen, Kelly started to journal about what goodness still remained in her life in the hopes of finding just one little thing to make it through the day. Gratitude changed everything. By focusing on the blessings found moment by moment, she was able to allow herself to grieve with an open heart, and accept all the wisdom that comes from life's difficulties.

Excerpts

I am wondering, in my quest for gratitude, who is coming into our house and wearing our clothes and using our towels. Of all the simple things in life I can find to feel gratitude for, laundry is not one of them. And to top it off, I am the mother of a hockey player. This means I am the woman who dons a HAZMAT suit to unpack wet and dirty socks that could walk out of the bag without my assistance; socks that emit an odor that is like no other. After a particularly long weekend of playing hockey, a voice can be heard when we open this bag. It is the socks, saying How you doing? In any case, this morning, as the washer's rhythmic tones fill our quiet house, and remind me of the order of things, I am thinking about the meaning of life. Imagine living with someone like me, who connects the meaning of life with the sound of a washing machine? My husband is a saint. Life is beautiful and delicious, and at the same time, it can be ugly and painful. It is complicated, and I marvel at how my perspective on life has changed from my teenage years to now. As a teenager, I just knew I had it all figured out. Not only did I have it figured out, I believed I was advanced in my thinking. In explaining things to my parents or older siblings, I had this finality in my statements that made it seem like I had researched and knew what I was talking about. I was obviously seeing this much clearer than the rest of you right? Wrong. By the time I finished nursing school, I realized that there were some things that maybe I did not have completely buttoned up, but I could smile and I was sure everyone would think I did. I realized that life could sometimes present you with situations that simply gutted you, but you could put on a strong face and keep moving and everything would be okay. I blocked them, did not speak about what I did not want to deal with. It just made it easier if I kept those hurtful things in a separate compartment. Right? Wrong. Years passed, I realized I was not as invincible as I once thought. Nor was I as smart. I realized that life not only meant being gutted sometimes, it meant that you could be kicked and spit on when you were down. It could mean that everything you thought you could count on... you could not. Ten years ago, I started to make sense of what my parents were saying, and as I came to certain conclusions, I would inwardly cringe, and wonder why I was such a slow learner. But, I pressed on with a self-assured outer image, giving the impression I knew the right path and direction, all the while desperately looking for someone with a damn map. And now another ten years. And what do I realize? I wasn't really wrong back then, I was just learning. And the best learning comes from hurt and mistakes. Wisdom comes when you get stomped on, it gives you perspective so you can avoid it the next time, or at least figure out how to bounce back. Wisdom comes from being in the place I am in now, knowing that it is okay to not have things all figured out. I've learned that life is complicated, bad things happen all the time, and no one is spared. I've learned that when something bad happens to you, that doesn't mean you will go to the back of the line to be spared further until your turn comes around. I've learned not to be afraid of it, but rather become still and quiet, and just accept it. Fighting it changes nothing, and only intensifies your pain. I have my moments of hurt and anger and protest of course. But these days, I understand and have the tools that will allow them to pass quickly. I've realized that the measure of life is not in years, position, letters behind your name, weight, height, ethnicity, place of birth, religion or bank balance. I've realized the measure of a life is dependent on how far you will go each day to become a better person, how many people you treat with kindness, and how much closer you get to learning how to forgive, both yourself and others. I've learned that faith in God is personal, much like a deep and lasting friendship with someone who has seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I've learned that true prayer is not only getting on your knees when life slaps you up the side of the head. Why do we look up when things go bad and say God, please make this better, please fix what is going wrong. But, when things are sailing along, and we are on top of the world, we look in the mirror. We somehow think it is because of what we ourselves did and God is not in the credits. True prayer is your daily conversation with your friend, understanding that where you are is because you are together. I've realized that faith is not about the church you attend, or how loud you exclaim your beliefs or the fact that you are a Christian. It's all about the love and your own personal relationship with the Big Guy. I call him the Big Guy, as I think He likes to bring some levity into the discussion instead of having faith be all about pomp and circumstance and fear. I think it makes Him more approachable, don't you? I've learned that the human spirit is unstoppable, and resilience is within each of us, including twelve year old boys. And finally, I've learned it is all about the love. The more I surround myself with the good stuff, the closer I feel Stephen's spirit all around me. And, on those days, life can go on. And there lies the reason for all these words of mine. My focus on the good stuff keeps him close in my heart, and gives me strength for the coming days. As a child, I coped in childlike ways. And now, years later, here I am with all those lessons in my pocket. Thank God for all of them, no matter how they arrived. If it wasn't for my earlier adventures, I would not be coping with the loss of my son as I am today. So today's gratitude is for the past. It is because of it I feel peace in my heart that everything will be okay, for I am resilient and open to learn more as the days pass. I am deep today. It's the Green Tea, and the washing machine. It makes me reflective. I can't wait for tomorrow. I'm going to drink orange juice and ask the microwave for advice.