Lessons on Love : Building Deeper Relationships

by Bill Hybels with Kevin and Sherry Harney

• ISBN13: 9780310265931
• ISBN10: 0310265932
• Edition: Revised
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-08-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

Learn about various kinds of love, beginning with forms of love you'll recognize--and ending with a supernatural love so awesome it can utterly transform lives. (6 sessions)

Table of Contents

Interactions	p. 7
Introduction: Building Deeper Relationships	p. 9
Loving Lessons	p. 11
Tender Love	p. 19
Tough Love	p. 27
Sacrificial Love	p. 35
Steadfast Love	p. 43
Radical Love	p. 51
Leader's Notes	p. 59
Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Lessons on Love
Copyright © 1996 by Willow Creek Association
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
ISBN-10: 0-310-26593-2
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-26593-1
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International
Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of
Zondervan. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any
other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Interior design by Rick Devon and Michelle Espinoza
Printed in the United States of America
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S E S S I O N 1 L E S S O N S O N L O V E
LOVING
LESSONS
T H E B I G P I C T U R E
When a building is being constructed, the groundwork is critically
important. If the foundation is faulty, the whole building
will be unstable. If the foundation is solid, the building will be
stable and stand firm under stress.
The same is true when building loving relationships. We need
to have a solid foundation on which to build. If we don’t, the
whole structure of the relationship is in danger. If we have a
solid base of love, we can experience deep and meaningful
relationships.
Although all of us desire to be genuinely loving, we all have
different natural capacities for receiving and expressing love.
If I were to teach a ski class, there would inevitably be a variety
of skill levels displayed. Some people would barely be able to
stand up. They would be falling over in the lift line, impaling
themselves on their ski poles, or accidentally stabbing those
around them. Others could negotiate the bunny slope with a
certain amount of confidence. And then there would be those
who could ski down the hills with ease and style. It doesn’t
bother us to think about how some people are better at a certain
sport or activity. However, when it comes to loving, we assume
everyone has acquired the same abilities and skills. The hard
truth is that some people have a great natural ability to love,
while others have to work at expressing love.
There are a variety of loving capacities among the members of
your small group. This may be partly the result of how much
love each received in their family as they were growing up. It
is also determined by basic temperament and personality. Some
of us have soft and gentle temperaments, while others do not.
Our capacity to love is also based on how we have responded
to the things life has thrown at us. Life is a mixed bag. Some
people encounter obstacles and difficulties and become
increasingly bitter and hard-hearted over the years. Others
tend to become more open and kind and gentle over time. In
almost every group there will be those who are more naturally
caring and kind and others who can be short-fused, calloused,
and even a little tough-hearted. The majority of us are somewhere
in the middle.
A W I D E A N G L E V I E W
1. Put an “X” on each line below to indicate where you
would place the following people in relationship to
their ability to feel and express love.
Your father
Tenderhearted Tough-Hearted
Expressive of love Not expressive of love
Your mother
Tenderhearted Tough-Hearted
Expressive of love Not expressive of love
You
Tenderhearted Tough-Hearted
Expressive of love Not expressive of love
Why did you choose to put the “X” where you did on each
line?

A B I B L I C A L P O R T R A I T
2. In this passage we are called to “spur one another on
toward love and good deeds.” If you view your small
group members as the “one another” in this passage,
what can you do to “spur one another on” to be more
loving?
S H A R P E N I N G T H E F O C U S
Read Snapshot “You Matter to God!”
3. What would you say to a person in your small group to
express to them how much they matter to God?
YOU MATTER TO GOD!
God wants to see each of us transformed into a more loving person. The first thing He does in this
transformation process is convince you, to the core of your being, that you matter to Him. You are the
focus of His affection. You are precious in His sight. You are loved beyond words.
When seekers turn to the Bible they find countless portions of Scripture where God takes a huge risk.
He knows, with His omniscience, that certain people are going to reject His love, but He says it anyway. I like the way it
is put in Isaiah 43, verses 1 and 4. God says through Isaiah, “I have summoned you by name . . . You are precious and
honored in my sight.” And then there are the words “I love you.” In a loveless world, God reaches out and says we matter
more to Him than we could ever dream.
How do we show kids that they matter to God?
Read Snapshot “Love in Action”
4. If you were talking with a seeker who had never
stepped foot into a church, how would you explain
what God has done to show His love for them?
5. When did you first really experience the depth of
God’s sacrificial love for you, and what helped you to
understand it?
LOVE IN ACTION
When it comes to love, God takes it far beyond just words. We all know that talk is cheap. God didn’t
demonstrate His love in some glittery, Hollywood style with soft colors and moving music in the
background. God rolled up His sleeves, put on human flesh, and came to live among us. He became
part of a family. He developed a trade as a carpenter. He became active in relationships. He came out
of the heavenly grandstand and got knocked around on the playing field of life. This means that when
we pray to Him, we can be assured that He knows all about family joys and struggles. He knows all about work. He
knows all about relationships. We have rock-solid assurance that He understands. He truly has walked in our shoes.
Another reason God put on human flesh was to show people a purer kind of love than they had ever witnessed before.
Love for the unlovely, the needy, the forgotten people, and love for sinners like you and me. Of course, in the supreme
demonstration of love, He sacrificed Himself voluntarily and paid the penalty for our sins so that we could come into a
relationship with the Father. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). If
you miss this, you miss everything. When you become personally involved with this kind of love, when the scales fall
off your eyes for the first time and this kind of love grips you and moves you and comes crashing into your soul, you
will never be the same.
Read Snapshot “The Presence of the Holy Spirit”
6. How have you experienced the transforming presence
and power of the Holy Spirit in the following areas of
your life:
• How you love family members
• How you love and care for other followers of Christ
• How you feel toward those who do not yet know

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Excerpted from Lessons on Love: Building Deeper Relationships by Bill Hybels, Hybels
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.