9781439188545

Acknowledgments
Manners from the Heart
Everyday Relationships For Our Times
Family Manners
The Family, Idealistically Speaking
Manners with Those Close to You
Courtesies That Hold Your Nuclear Family Together
With Your Mate
With Your Mother- and Father-in-Law
With Your Son and Daughter-in-Law or Daughter and Son-in-Law
Roommate Etiquette
The New Family Formation: Adults (Hopefully) Living Together Harmoniously
An Adult Child Returns to the Nest
When a Parent Lives with You
The Family Forum
You Are Single but Still Part of a Family
Fighting the Good Fight Against Loneliness
Making Friends of your Family
Reasons to Be Glad You Are Single
If You Want to Stop Being Single
The Opportunities for Meeting People Are Endless
Complete Turnoff Questions Never to Ask a Single Person
If You Want to Play Matchmaker
Gay and Lesbian Couples -- They Are Families, Too
Good Manners Toward Gays and Lesbians
When a Gay Couple Adopts a Child
The Keepers of Your House -- They Are Family, Too
Working with Non-English-Speaking Employees
Before You Employ Someone in Your Home
Special Recommendations for Your Sitter and Child Caregiver
Special Training for Workers in Grand Houses
What Should Your Domestic Staff Call You and What Should You Call Them?
The "Character Factor"
If You're Using a Caterer for Your Party
The Manners That Make Children Great
How a Child Learns to Distinguish Between Right and Wrong
The Example of Her Parents
Moral Lessons a Small Child Gleans from Parents Through Reading and Conversation
When Your Child Is Curious About a Disabled Person He Sees in Public
The Help That Religious Faith Can Give
Basic Behavior Rules Your Child of Ten or Older Should Know
The Basics
Teenagers Need a Few More Rules
22 Common Teenage Examples of a Family's Bad Manners and Oversights
Household Telephone Rules
A Few Dating Manners
Making the Rules Easier to Take
What's a Piece of Furniture?
Your Role in Your Children's Relationships
With Siblings
Addressing Adults
Parents Speak to Their Children About Sex
A Mother Speaks to Her Daughter
A Father Speaks to His Son
The E-mailing Kids' Generation
Guarding Your Child Against the Perils of Drugs and Alcohol pard
Drugs and the Vulnerable Teenager
The Kinds of Drugs Around Us
Teaching Your Young Child About Alcohol
Teenage Drinking
Where to Get Help
When Your Children Become Adults: Keep Your Family Together
Nice Ways to Treat Other Family Members
Everyday Manners Out in the World
Making Friends in a Busy World
The First Step: Meeting People Who May Become Friends
Become Creative About How You Use Your Leisure Time
Solidifying a New Friendship
Manners and Friendship in the Great Outdoors
Sports
Making Friends at Work
Widening Your Horizons Through Volunteer Work
Choosing a Volunteer Activity
The Way to Get on a Nonprofit Agency Board
If Your Volunteer Motives Are Partly Social
Words to Use at Difficult Times
Growing Older with Grace
The Middle-Aged Years Should Be and Can Be the Best of Times
Some Options for Improving the Mind
Some Options for Improving the Body
Some Options for Improving the Heart
Leave Your Real Legacy Behind You
Working Smart
Commonsense Polite Business Behavior: Good to Know!
When You're New in the Office
What to Say When You Are Belittled at Work
To Be a Well-Liked, Successful Executive
Some ABCs of Executive Etiquette
Traveling with the Boss
Meeting Manners
Receiving a Visitor to Your Office
Corporate Jet Etiquette
If a Member of Senior Management Dies
Corporate Responsibility When Serving Alcohol
When You Have to Let Someone Go for Economic Reasons
When You Are the One Let Go
Finding a Job in an Unsympathetic Environment
Hunting for a New Job
While You are Still Employed
Infant Feeding and Breast-Feeding in the Office
Tasty Tidbits of Etiquette (for Your Business or Social Life)
The Manners That Make Travel Easier
Ensuring a Pleasurable Trip
Having a Good Time with a Traveling Companion
When You're Taking a Plane
Your Hotel Manners
Your B&B Manners
Going on a Cruise?
How to Have a Happy Cruise
Remember Your Manners
Cruise Attire
Cruise Tipping
Women and Travel
Men and Women Traveling Together on Business
A Woman Traveling Alone
Some Practical Advice
Dealing with a Travel Agent
A Wise Move for the Overseas Traveler
The Art of Tipping
General Guidelines on Tipping
At Restaurants
Valet Parking and Limousine Service
When You're Taking a Taxi
When You Are Staying in a Hotel
If You're a Weekend Guest in a Home with a Domestic Staff
When You're at the Hairdresser
When You Are in a Railroad Club Car
Tip the Fast-Food Deliverer
Holiday Tipping
Tipping the People Who Serve You in Your Home
Holiday Tipping in Your Staffed Apartment House
When You Have Your Car in a Private Garage
When You Are in a Foreign Country
Dressing Appropriately
Propriety and Appropriateness
At Church or Temple
The Right Thing to Wear -- Women
What You Wear to a Cocktail Party
What You Wear to a Black Tie Affair
What You Wear to a White Tie Affair
What You Wear to Someone's Private Club
Women at Their Offices
The Right Thing to Wear -- Men
Sandal Etiquette
Men's Fashion Disasters
Your Ties
Your Jewelry
What You Wear to a Black Tie Affair
What You Wear to a White Tie Affair
A Final Word of Advice
Common Courtesies
Common Courtesies Appropriate When You Are Out and About
On the Street as Pedestrian or Driver
On Public Transportation
At Movies and in the Theater
In the Supermarket
At the Beach or Camping
At a Pool
The Magical Game Called Golf
Courtesies to Observe with Those You Encounter During Your Day
Your Manners with the Expert Professionals Who Serve You
Your Manners with Waiters
Your Manners with Tradespeople and Salespeople
Your Manners with Strangers Encountered Along the Way
Table Manners That Take You Anywhere: The Right Thing to Do at Every Kind of Meal -- or, How to Avoid Being a Klutz
Table Manner Basics
Body Language at Table
General Rules on Conduct at Table
Dilemmas at Mealtime
Mealtime Decorum
Saying Grace
When Do You Start Eating?
Serving Yourself from a Platter
Taking Modest Portions
Tasting Other People's Food
Diets, Diets, Diets
If You Spill at Table
Using Your Flatware Properly
Napkin Etiquette
Finger Bowls
How to Handle Different -- and Sometimes Difficult -- Foods
Hors d'Oeuvres
Breads and Pastries
The Relish Tray
Appetizers
Meat
Fish
Lobster
Pasta
Vegetables That Are Difficult to Eat
Salad
Fresh Fruit Served at the End of a Meal
Informal Foods
Answers To Questions About Manners You Thought That No One Had To Ask Anymore
New Manners for an Ever-Changing Society
Dating Today
Asking the Person for the Date
Dating Manners
Who Pays for What
If You're Miserable on the Date
Give Blind Dates a Chance!
Sex -- Good, Bad, and Indifferent
What Do Manners, Compassion, and Character Have to Do with It?
When the Answer Is Yes
When the Answer Is No
When a Woman Is Afraid to Be Alone at Home with a Man
Bringing Up the Subject of Condoms
Safe Sex and Multiple Partners
A Homosexual Relationship
What to Tell the Mate of Someone Who's Playing Around
Pleasures and Pitfalls of the Office Romance
Sex and Sexism in the Office
Watch Your Language
When Sex Can Create Problems for a Woman Traveling Alone on Business
Sexual Harassment Is Not Just Against Women
Cohabitation Manners
Making a Commitment Even Though You Decide Not to Marry
The Romance Is Over
The Rights Of Passage
You're Engaged!
Telling the World Your Good News
When Announcing Your Engagement Is Not Necessary
Newspaper Announcement of the Engagement
The Engagement Ring
Celebrating the Engagement
The Engagement Party
Engagement Presents
Showers: Feting the Bride-to-Be
Asking Someone to Marry You
When a Woman Does the Proposing
When Your Answer Is "No"
Weddings
The Architecture of a Beautiful First Wedding
The Homosexual Community's Wedding and Commitment Ceremonies
Acknowledgments for Commitment Gifts or Baby Presents If the Couple Adopts a Baby
Your Wedding Invitations
Who Receives Your Invitations?
The Various Ways of Inviting Guests to the Wedding
The Formal Traditional Wedding Invitation
Addressing and Mailing the Invitations
The Correct Wording on Wedding Invitations
The Etiquette of Names on Wedding Invitations
The Separate Reception Invitation Card
The Ceremony Card
Soliciting a Reply to an Invitation
"At Home" Cards
A Pew Card
Admission Cards
Other Enclosures, Such as Maps and Special Parking Instructions
Wedding Announcements
The Announcement Text
How Much Will It Cost and Who Will Pay?
First, the Budget
Paying for It
Planning for a Perfect Wedding Day
Choosing the Time for the Religious Ceremony
Choosing the Place for the Wedding Service
Options That Make for a Happy Day
Keep Track of Important Details with a Wedding Planner
Invitation List
The Wedding Party
The Wedding Ceremony
Reception Planner for a Large Wedding
Transportation Arrangements
Working with the Caterer
The Food at the Reception
Planning the Menu
The Presentation Is Important
The Wedding Cake
Flowers
Bridesmaids' Bouquets
Boutonnieres
Photography Requirements
The Bride's Portrait
The Candid Photographer
Music
Transportation
Wedding Attendants
The Bride's Attendants
The Groom's Attendants
The Rehearsal
The Rehearsal Dinner
The Wedding Day Arrives!
Getting to the Church
Meanwhile, Inside the Church
Seating in the Front Pew on the Bride's Side
The Wedding Service
Music for the Ceremony
The Service Is About to Begin
The Processional Begins
The Role of the Bride's Attendants
Variations on Who Acts as the Father of the Bride
Giving the Bride Away
The Wedding
Ring Is Placed on the Finger
Recitation of the Vows
The Kiss
The Recessional
A Double Wedding Ceremony
The Pregnant Bride
A Small or Big Wedding at Home
Tenting Your Yard or Garden
The Reception
When the Wedding and Reception Place Are Combined
Guest Book
The Receiving Line
Seating the Tables at the Reception
Wedding Toasts
The Bride's First Dance
Weddings in the Jewish Tradition
Invitations
Preparation for the Wedding Day
The Chuppa
The Processional
The Ceremony
The Recessional
The Reception
Interfaith Marriages
The Ecumenical Wedding Service
Another Option: Two Ceremonies
Wedding Apparel
The Bridal Attendants' Dresses
The Apparel of the Groomsmen
How the Guests Should Dress
The Wedding Ring
Announcement in the Newspaper
Last-Minute Wedding Disasters
Gifts
Wedding Gift Record Book
The Exchange of Gifts Within the Wedding Party
Gifts from Family and Friends to the Bride and Groom
Bridal Registry
The Gift of Money
Returning and Exchanging Gifts
Thank-you Notes
Postponing the Wedding
Calling Off the Wedding
Prenuptial Agreements
When You Marry More Than Once
Who Does the Inviting?
Changes in the Ritual
How the Bride Dresses
The Ceremony
Parties and the Second Wedding
Gifts the Second Time Around
Stepchildren, Stepparents, and Grandparents
Pregnancy, Birth, and Other Rites of Passage That Welcome a Child into the World
The Happiest Event of All: The Birth of a Baby
Polite Pregnancy at Work
Returning to Work After the Baby Is Born
Nursing the Baby
The Birth Announcement
How to React to a Birth Announcement
Extending Congratulations for the New Baby
Presents for the Parents
Presents for the Baby
Studio Cards
Letters of Congratulation
Traditional Christian Ceremonies Marking the Child's
Arrival and Maturation
The Christening
First Communion
Confirmation in the Protestant and Catholic Faiths
Traditional Jewish Ceremonies Marking the Child's Arrival and Maturation
Brith Milah
Bar and Bat Mitzvah
Confirmation
Special Birthdays for Girls
The Quinceañera
Sweet Sixteen Parties
Debutantes
The Last Rite of Passage: Funerals
Taking Charge of the Arrangements
Preparing the Obituary
The Proprieties in Connection with a Funeral
What Do You Say?
Sending Flowers
Attire for Funerals
Ceremonies for or Honoring the Deceased
A Viewing or Wake
The Christian Funeral Service
A Cremation
Jewish Services
Memorial Service
After the Funeral or Memorial
The Survivor Writes a Thank-You
Showing Continuing Support
The Art Of Entertaining
Entertaining Today's Way
How Entertaining Brings Friends into Your Life
pardThe Kinds of Entertaining People Love
Extending Invitations
How Far Ahead Do You Extend an Invitation?
Save-the-Date Cards
Parts of a Formal Invitation
Who Does the Inviting?
The Language of Invitations ("Invitationese")
Reminder Cards
Kinds of Invitations
Requesting a Reply
"No Gifts" on Invitations
An Invitation from the White House
When You Reply to an Invitation
Sending a Formal Written Reply
Get Yourself Organized
Basics of Good Entertaining Planning
Working with the Caterer
Sample Party Plans -- A Potluck Meal
Sample Plans for a Small Dinner
The Logistics of Planning a Large Dinner
The Cocktail Party
The Social Aspects of Alcohol
How Many Bars, How Much Help, and What Supplies Are Needed
A Cocktail Buffet
Cocktail Party Manners
An Invitation to Tea
Making an Effort: Set an Attractive Table
The Role of Linens in Table Settings
Decorating the Tables
Place Cards
Menu Cards
A Note About Today's Menus
Knowing the Rules for Contemporary Table Settings
What's on the Table at the Start of the Meal?
Salad Plates and the Service of Salad
Using the Right Flatware
The Table Accoutrements You Should Have for Entertaining Today
Buying Your China
Buying Table Linens
Buying Flatware
Buying Glassware
The Service of the Seated Meal -- With or Without Help
Who Is Served First?
How Does the Waiter or Waitress Serve?
Serving a Dinner Party of Six Without Help
Training Young People to Wait on Table
Advice to Waitstaff on Serving a Typical Three-Course Meal
The Art of the Service of Wine
Tips on the Service of Wine
The Major Categories of Wine and Their Proper Serving Temperatures
Champagne Etiquette
After-Dinner Drinks
How to Open a Wine Bottle
Tasting the Wine at Home
Tasting the Wine in a Good Restaurant
Wineglasses
How Much Wine to Buy
Wine Stains
Wine and Champagne Savers
Storing Your Wine
Serving Memorable Food
Ways to Interest Yourself in Cooking for Guests
How Many Courses Should You Serve?
Advice for Making Entertaining Easy, Attractive -- and Memorable
Alternative Party Ideas
The Garage Party
Parties Around Games That Require Using Your Wits
An Exercise Party
Entertaining Out and About
Your Personal Touch
Things to Remember
Restaurant Manners
Music Makes the World Go Round
Background Music
Dance Music
Hiring a Musician or Any Kind of Performer
Using Recorded Music
Protocol for You, Not Just for Royalty
How to Receive Your Guests
Name Badges
Signing the Guest Book
Seating Arrangements
The Script for an Official Social Function
Toasting Is an Art and an Important Part of Protocol
Short Toasts
What Prompts a Toast?
When Do You Toast?
Loving Care of the Weekend Houseguest
Whom to Invite
When Not to Invite Houseguests
Getting Yourself Organized
Preparing the House
How to Plan the Food
Necessary Attributes in an Accomplished Weekend Host
The Houseguest Who Is Always Invited Back
A Houseguest with a Present Is More Welcome Than One Without
Not to Forget: The Thank-you Letter
Remember This About the Entire Subject of Entertaining
The Most Prestigious Invitation of Them All: Dinner at the White House
Gifts That Show You Care
When You Send Flowers
When a Wedding Is in the Offing
How Many Showers Are Too Many?
Bar Shower
Wedding Presents
The Bride's Dilemma: To Return or Not to Return Gifts
Presents for the Holidays
Organizing the List
Baking and Making Your Own Gifts
Organizing Your Own Family's Christmas Day
Thank-you's for Holiday Gifts
Business Holiday Gifts
Hanukkah Presents
Gift Suggestions for Other People and Other Occasions
Baby Presents and Christening Presents
Suggestions for Gifts to Give Teenage Children on Any Occasion
Gifts for the Elderly
For Someone Who Is Seriously Ill or Injured
A Houseguest's Present for the Host
Gifts for a Housewarming
A Little Advice
Difficult Times: Healing Yourself And Others When Trouble Strikes
How to Help Someone Deal with the Loss of a Spouse
Dealing with a Divorce
How Should You Behave When You Have Divorced?
How Should People Behave When Their Friends Divorce?
When You Are Widowed
Dating Again and Remarriage
When You're on Your Own Again
The Task of Healing Yourself
A Real Friend
There Is a Difference Between Alone and Lonely
The Newly Single Woman's Name
When Someone Is Ill or Injured
Minding Your Manners in the Hospital
When a Good Friend Develops a Life-Threatening Disease
When You Have a Good Friend with AIDS
What You Say to the Person Who Has Just Suffered a Loss
When Someone Loses a Lover
When a Parent Loses a Child
When Your Friend Has a Miscarriage
Making Things Right: When You've Really Messed Up. Send Roses
Making Amends
Your Guests Have Arrived But You Have Mixed Up the Dates and Not Realized Tonight is Your Sit-Down Dinner Party
When You Commit a Serious Gaffe in Making Introductions
Control That Temper!
The Key To Good Communication: More Than Electronics
How to Be an Interesting Conversationalist
The Two V's: Voice and Vocabulary
The Force of a Dynamic Vocabulary
Can We Start a Literacy Crusade in the Workplace?
Small Talk
When Not to Make Small Talk
So What Are You Going to Talk About?
If You Don't Want to Be a Bore
Extricating Yourself from a Conversational Dilemma
The Conversational Hero
Handling Prying Personal Relationship Questions
The Art of Giving and Receiving Compliments
Compliments as Icebreakers When Conversation Has Bogged Down
Know How to Accept a Compliment
When You Notice a Friend's Physical Change for the Better -- or If You Notice It's a Change for the Worse
Great Telephone Manners at Home
How You Sound Affects How People See You and Feel Toward You
It's Important to Teach Telephone Manners to the Children, Which Means You Have Good Ones Yourself!
Telephone Security When the Kids Are Home
The Office Telephone
Taking Good Messages
Dealing with a Well-Mannered Answering Machine
Good Manners for the Answering Machine Owner (or Voice Mail User)
Advice to the Person Leaving a Message
A Caution About Answering Machines
Cell Phone Etiquette
Classic Correspondence: Writing Good Letters and Notes
When an E-mail Isn't Appropriate
The Old-Fashioned Letter
Helpful Hints on Letter Writing
Writing Good Letters
Negatives to Watch Out For
Letters That Fit the Occasion
Business Letters
Thank-you Letters
Letters of Complaint
Letters of Reference
Letters of Congratulation
Catch-up Letters
Letters of Apology
Condolence Letters
Love Letters
Notes
Greeting Cards and Holiday Messages
Christmas Cards
Holiday Newsletters
The Personal Stationery You Use
Single Stationery Half Sheets
Correspondence Cards
Letter Paper for Everyday Use
Very Nice to Have
Monograms -- Single and Married
The Electronic Revolution
Tech Manners in the Midst of New Signals, Flashes, Dashes, Squeaks, Vibrations, and Above All, Unidentifiable Noises
The Best Part of This New Society
Yes, E-mails Have Their Own Etiquette, Too
E-mails: Wing-footed Messengers of Speed
Beepers and Pagers
The Speakerphone
Addressing People Properly
How Should You Be Addressed?
When You Change Your Name
When Writing Letters or Speaking to Someone
Writing to People with Professional Titles
Using "Ms."
When a Man Is a Jr., Sr., 2nd, 3rd, or 4th
Using "Messrs."
Addressing Envelopes for Invitations
When You Don't Have a Clue About the Person to Whom You Are Writing
The Southern Use of "Sir" or "Ma'am"
Calling People by Their First or Last Names
How to Address Specific Groups
United States Officials
Addressing Women
"The Honorable" -- A Title of Respect in America
The British: Our Friends with Many Titles
Diplomatic Protocol with Other Nations
Western European Titles
The United Nations
Military Rank
Religious Officials
Foreign Professionals
For Questions Relating to Protocol
Afterword
Index
Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.

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Letitia Baldrige's New Manners for New Times : A Complete Guide to Etiquette

1439188548

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