Lifegiving

by Farah, Tamra; Maltby, Tammy

• ISBN13: 9780802413604
• ISBN10: 0802413609
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2004-03-01
• Publisher: Moody Publishers

Summary

Women today are more stressed out, burned out, and defeated than ever before. The more they seek to better themselves, the farther they fall toward despair. The key according to Tammy Maltby is to become less self-centered and more other-centered. Tammy encourages the reader to be the one who gives life to others! In Lifegiving, she provides sound biblical teaching on what it means to be a lifegiver and how this flows out of a rich inner relationship with God.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	9	(2)
Introduction A Special Letter for you...	11	(4)
part 1 THE SECRET LIFE OF THE LIFEGIVER
Chapter 1 Lifegivers Are Beautiful	15	(10)
Chapter 2 Lifegiving Began in a Garden	25	(10)
Chapter 3 The Power of the Seed	35	(22)
Chapter 4 The Good Gardener	57	(6)
Chapter 5 The Secret Place	63	(20)
part 2 THE LIFEGIVING LIFESTYLE
Chapter 6 The Lifegiving Home	83	(22)
Chapter 7 Lifegiving In Friendships	105	(18)
Chapter 8 Lifegiving through Hospitality	123	(36)
part 3 A FEW GOOD LIFEGIVERS
Chapter 9 Phyllis Stanley	159	(4)
Chapter 10 Cheryl Green	163	(6)
Chapter 11 Melinda Wallace	169	(6)
Chapter 12 Debi Godsey	175	(6)
Epilogue Meet the Ultimate Lifegiver	181

Excerpts

Lifegivers Are Beautiful

Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. Success is what you do for others. Danny Thomas

What does a lifegiving woman look like?

Several weeks ago I entered a place and was immediately met with the warmth of a lifegiving woman. There was ease about her, a quiet confidence and an undeniable inner strength. Many others were there when I arrived, greeting and sharing with one another. Some even extended a thoughtful welcome. But when this lifegiving woman reached out, I was deeply touched She embraced my heart; she lifted my spirit and refreshed me. There was tangible love, enthusiastic energy, passion, and grace in her presence. As I moved past her, I realized that I felt nurtured, cared for, and valued. It was as if I had strolled past a lovely garden, l longed to linger in the presence of this woman who knew the secret of lifegiving, to breathe in the sweet fragrance of such simple yet transforming beauty. In a brief encounter, she gave me life.

How will you know when you have met a lifegiving woman?

Well, it goes something like this.

When she speaks, you do not go away licking your wounds from a hurtful word. Instead, even her everyday words seem to be infused with lifegiving power and encouragement.

When she does a good deed, you do not feel the heavy weight of obligation to return the favor. Instead, you are inspired to something lovely in return.

When she is with you, you never feel a cold shoulder, because she brings warmth and acceptance into your life.

When you go to her home for a meal, you don't feel impressed by the expensive décor (even if she does have a big budget!). Instead, you feel the warmth of her home and the comfort of the beauty you find there.

When you are around her, you don't feel overwhelmed by who she is. Instead, you feel inspired to be who you were meant to be.

When you walk away from her, you don't feel discouraged by her accomplishments compared to yours. Instead, you walk away motivated to do what you never thought possible.

Do you know a lifegiving woman?

If you do, then you understand that she has brought love and warmth into your life. She has inspired you to do what you never thought possible. She has encouraged you to reach out and take risks. She has refreshed you with living water when the well of your life has run dry.

I know when I have been with a lifegiving woman, because whether she has shared a word or a deed, I am helped, encouraged, and deeply inspired.

How easy it is for one benevolent being to diffuse pleasure around him. And how truly is a kind heart a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity to freshen into smiles. Washington Irving

Many reach out to us, but only a few reach far enough to touch our very hearts. What is the difference?

The difference is found in the ancient secrets of lifegiving.

Ordinary women give extraordinary life

I heard a beautiful story of a lifegiving woman who lived in New York City. On a very cold December day, a little boy stood barefoot before a shoe store, peering through the window, shivering in the cold. A woman approached the boy and said, "My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?"

"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.

The woman took him by the hand and went into the store. She asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the boy to the back part of the store, removed her gloves, knelt down, and washed and dried his little feet. By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. She placed a pair upon the boy's feet and then purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him, patted him on the head, and said, "No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now."

As she turned to go, the astonished boy caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face with tears in his eyes, he asked, "Are you God's wife?"

Think of it! Her simple act of lifegiving caused him to wonder if she was God's own bride!

Restorative, lifegiving actions are being acted out daily by ordinary women. Their actions and words may seem simple, but they have found the secret to living a beautiful life.

Cohosting the television program Aspiring Women has given me wonderful opportunities to meet remarkable, everyday, lifegiving women. Linda Lampeth is one such woman. You may never see her face on the news or her name in national headlines, but she is a true lifegiver.

Linda was living in a small community in Texas with her husband, her two girls, and her baby boy when challenging circumstances began to unfold. Due to medical mistreatment, her little boy, Ronnie, became deaf.

Linda knew she had to make some very difficult decisions. A very optimistic woman, she was determined that her son would learn to function in a hearing world. As Ronnie entered kindergarten, he seemed to be on target with his scholastic development. But by third grade, her son was falling further and further behind. Endless hours were spent each evening just trying to catch up on all the information he had missed during the day. Something had to change.

Linda was about to lay down her life-her agenda, her plans, her schedule-to give life to her son.

One sunny Texas morning, Linda boarded a bright yellow school bus and went to the fourth grade with her deaf son. Yes, she became a part of the class. With her little son facing her, she slowly spoke every word as Ronnie read her lips. Finding that Ronnie was quickly progressing in school with her help, Linda continued throughout that year to be her son's ears. And then she continued the next year, and the next year, and so on.

It is the glow within that creates beauty. People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle like crystal in the sun. At night they continue to sparkle only if there is light from within. Bonnie Green

Every day. Every class. Every grade. Linda even attended high school with her son and helped him graduate with honors. She proudly walked with all the seniors to receive her own diploma!

The most remarkable part of this story is that many years later when cochlear implants were developed, Ronnie was eligible to receive the treatment due to the fact that he had learned to speak and lip-read at a young age. If he had only learned to sign, his brain would have been unable to receive the stimulus needed to actually begin hearing again. The medical miracle of cochlear implants has allowed Ronnie to receive 90 percent of his hearing back! This all began when one lifegiving mother made a commitment to sacrifice herself every day as an offering of love.

This is the everyday glory of a lifegiving woman.

Many famous lifegivers have impacted their families, communities, and even the world down through the ages-women like Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross; Golda Meir, Prime Minister of Israel when the fledgling nation needed strong leadership; or Mother Hale, an African-American grandmother who founded the largest ministry to crack babies in New York City. These women brought life to lifeless situations. They were bearers of hope in seemingly hopeless situations. They infused life into everyone who touched them. They refused to allow circumstances to cloud their vision. They took painful risks to give life.

Life in the face of death

One unmistakable lifegiver in modern times was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Certainly we have all seen countless photographs of this small, frail woman clad in a nun's garb. Have you ever considered her a beautiful woman? Not by worldly standards. She wore no jewels, no makeup. Yet her life revealed an unmatched beauty that the entire world recognizes.

Few of us will pack our bags and move to the streets of Calcutta to minister to the dying like the Sisters of Charity. But all of us can glean qualities expressed by this small yet mighty lifegiver. Mother Teresa was more than an icon. She was a woman who flowed in the lifegiving nature given to her by God. This four-foot-eleven-inch nun sowed life with abandon!

Her example as a lifegiver is revealed in the book No Greater Love :

In twenty-five years, we have picked up more than thirty-six thousand people from the streets and more than eighteen thousand have died a most beautiful death.

When we pick them up from the street we give them a plate of rice. In no time we revive them. A few nights ago we picked up four people. One was in a most terrible condition, covered with wounds, full of maggots. I told the sisters I would take care of her while they attended to the other three. I really did all that my love could do for her. I put her in bed and then she took hold of my hand. She had such a beautiful smile on her face and she said only, "Thank you." Then she died.

There was a greatness of love. She was hungry for love, and she received that love before she died. She spoke only two words, but her understanding of love was expressed in those two words.

Even in horrific circumstances, Mother Teresa's lifegiving service shone through. She knew the mystery of a beautiful death. She understood that even when a situation seemed impossible, the crisis brought an opportunity for a life offering that was precious and powerful.

In my mind, the most feminine woman is one with an eye and ear for others and a heart for God. Emily Barns

I saw a glimpse of this Calcutta picture when traveling to Central and South America to escort adopted babies to waiting families in the United States. On one trip with a dear friend, Ruth, I encountered the squalor of an orphanage where children battled for life daily. The rooms were dark. The cribs were crowded. Diapers were soiled. Death hung like a low moon in the sky.

I felt overwhelmed with the picture of pain before me. The natural question- why? -turned into anger and despair. At one point I ran out of this "dying room," sobbing uncontrollably. I was too overwhelmed to stay in the presence of these infants who were barely hanging on to life. Their desperate pain seemed so senseless, their hope so undeniably lost. I sat outside the door, sobbing and alone for some time.

Moments later, I sensed someone beside me, slowly closing in. It was my friend Ruth. She took my hand, and I heard her say softly, "Are you done?"

"Done with what?" I struggled to say.

"Done crying?" I wondered about the inappropriateness of the question. Couldn't she see the need? The dying? Couldn't she see that these little helpless lives were without hope?

With the resolve of a lifegiver, Ruth whispered, "Tammy, when you are finished crying, we can go and do something about it." In that moment I realized that my focus was on the pain of the situation, but her focus was on the lifegiving opportunity.

You are certainly one of the joys of life for all who have ever come within a mile of you. Thomas Merton

You see, the lifegiver feels the pain but remembers that there is eternal currency to appropriate from the Father, like hope, love, peace, and life. His lifegiving bank is full to overflowing! We can write as many checks as we need for any amount we want. We can change the life of one, and then another and another. He only requires our trust and obedience.

How can I be a beautiful lifegiver?

Some of you may wonder, Can I really be a woman like this? How do these lifegivers find passion to give to others when their lives abound with big demands on their limited time? Can I really live a beautiful life? It may seem intimidating, even impossible, to most of you. Some of you harried wives and mothers may feel like you cannot even think about giving out beyond your own life's demands. Others of you may be single and feel your own needs are never met, let alone finding energy to meet the needs of others.

Many of us have never envisioned ourselves as lifegivers. We are overwhelmed with the pain that life has dealt us. Some of us have felt stirrings to be lifegivers but do not have the energy or the motivation to express this God-given capacity. Others of us may feel trapped by the mountain of tasks we face every day. We wonder, How can I give a cup of cold water when I desperately need a drink? My need for personal refreshment is so great; how can I refresh another?

Before we answer these questions, let's go back to the beginning. The very beginning, where lifegiving began ... back in the garden. Yes, the very first garden-beautiful Eden! Friend, here we will discover why we have such a longing to give life.

Chapter Two

Lifegiving Began in a Garden

In today's world ... it is still woman's business to make life better, to make tomorrow better than today. Helen Thames Raley

Given a choice, every woman would rather begin life in a beautiful garden than a barren wilderness. God would agree and thus chose to begin the incredible human drama of womanhood in a garden. Undoubtedly, God Almighty had many amazing places from which to choose. Yet He chose a garden to establish lifegiving-the magnificent Garden of Eden!

Adam, the very first human, was taken from the dust of the ground and was made from mud out in the wilderness. Genesis 2:7 gives the account: "The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." Clearly, that explains why men don't mind being dirty or sleeping out under the stars with stone pillows! As the mother of a son who loves the great outdoors, I understand this well.

Continues...

Excerpted from Lifegiving by Tammy Maltby with Tamra Farah Copyright © 2002 by Tammy Maltby
Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.