Living Well in a Nursing Home : Everything You and Your Folks Need to Know

by Dickinson, Lynn; Vosen, Xenia; Biedermann, Severine

• ISBN13: 9780897934602
• ISBN10: 0897934601
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-03-27
• Publisher: Hunter House

Summary

While moving to a nursing home is rarely considered a first choice, at times it's the best choice. For most families, the decision to move their loved one to a home is incredibly difficult.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	xi
Preface	xiii
...from Lynn Dickinson	xiii
...from Xenia Vosen	xiv
Introduction	1	(9)
Why We Wrote This Book	1	(1)
Who This Book Is For	2	(2)
How to Read This Book	4	(6)
Part I: Making the Long-Term-Care Decision
1: Stepping into New Territory	10	(8)
Why We Feel So Bad about Nursing Homes	12	(2)
What We Mean When We Say "Nursing Home"	14	(1)
What We Mean When We Say "You"	15	(1)
Some Assumptions	16	(2)
2: The Phone Call That Will Change Your Life	18	(16)
Here Come the Changes!	20	(1)
Making Friends with Change	20	(10)
Exercise: Determining Your Personal Change-Related Stress Level	30	(4)
3: It's Bigger than We Are: Changes in Society That Have Affected Aging and Culture	34	(18)
Why Things Are Different for Our Generation	34	(7)
Comparison: Then and Now	41	(1)
Past Ways of Caring	42	(1)
Coping with Longevity	43	(4)
Improvements in Living Conditions	47	(1)
What Long-Term Care Really Looks Like	48	(4)
4: The Home-Care Instinct	52	(24)
Home Care as a First Impulse	53	(1)
What Does "Home" Mean?	54	(2)
Exercise: What Does "Home" Mean?	56	(3)
Your Loved One's Condition	59	(1)
Your Energy Level	60	(2)
The Need for Community	62	(1)
The Economics of Home Care	63	(3)
Serving Others Versus Serving Yourself: Finding the Balance	66	(1)
A Note about Senior Day Care	67	(1)
Exercise: Are You Ready for Home Care?	68	(6)
Maybe Well Just Give It a Try...	74	(2)
5: Your Feelings Matter More than You May Think	76	(42)
Your Feelings Determine Your Experience	77	(3)
The Nature of Emotions	80	(2)
What You May Be Feeling about the Nursing Home Decision	82	(27)
Emotional Soup	109	(1)
Exercise: Understanding Your Mix of Emotions	110	(8)
Part II: You've Decided ... Now What?
6: Finding the Right Nursing Home	118	(35)
A Change in Abilities Calls for a Change in Living Arrangements	119	(1)
Different Kinds of Long-Term-Care Facilities	120	(6)
What Kind of Care Does My Parent Need?	126	(3)
Beginning the Search	129	(1)
Location: Finding Nursing Homes in Your (or Your Parent's) Area	129	(3)
Size of the Nursing Home	132	(4)
Who Owns the Nursing Home?	136	(1)
Paying for the Nursing Home	137	(1)
Facilities and Services	138	(8)
The Nursing Home Staff	146	(1)
Your First Visit	147	(1)
Facility Checklist	148	(3)
Taking Your Parent with You when You Visit	151	(1)
Waiting Lists	151	(2)
7: Once You've Found a Facility You Like	153	(11)
Talking It Over with Your Parent	153	(2)
Preparing Clothing and Other Possessions	155	(1)
Keeping Your Parent's House or Apartment	155	(1)
Moving In and Feeling at Home Are Two Different Things	156	(4)
The First Day	160	(4)
Part III: Making the Most of Life in a Nursing Home
8: A Day in the Life of a Nursing Home	164	(12)
What Around-the-Clock Care Looks Like	165	(1)
A Day in the Life of a Nursing Home Aide	166	(4)
A Day in the Life of Some Nursing Home Residents	170	(3)
A Day in the Life of a Nursing Home Director	173	(3)
9: Staying in Touch with Your Loved One Who Lives in a Nursing Home	176	(24)
When to Visit	177	(2)
How Often to Visit	179	(4)
How Long to Visit	183	(1)
How Many People to Take when You Visit	184	(2)
What to Do During Your Visit	186	(6)
You Know More than You Think You Do	192	(1)
Special Activities for Staying in Touch	193	(2)
How to Celebrate the Holidays when Your Parent Lives in a Nursing Home	195	(5)
10: Managing Common Conflicts in a Nursing Home	200	(20)
Conflicts Between Residents and Family Members	201	(2)
Conflicts Between Residents (or, the Battle of the Wheelchairs)	203	(2)
Conflicts Between Residents and Staff	205	(2)
Conflicts Between Family Members and Staff	207	(4)
Conflicts Between Family Members Other than the Resident	211	(7)
Conflicts Within Yourself	218	(2)
11: Working with the Nursing Home Staff	220	(13)
Communication in General	221	(3)
Showing Your Appreciation	224	(3)
Offering Critical Feedback	227	(1)
Can't Get No Satisfaction: What to Do when You Have a Complaint	228	(5)
12: Other Important Things to Know	233	(28)
Dehydration	234	(1)
Addictions	235	(3)
Dementia	238	(1)
Sexuality	238	(1)
Laundry Complaints (or, Nobody Is Stealing Your Mother's Underwear)	239	(1)
Money	240	(2)
Housekeeping	242	(4)
The Use of Restraints	246	(1)
Changing Institutions	247	(2)
Saying Goodbye: Leaving the Nursing Home	249	(5)
Special Goodbyes	254	(3)
In Conclusion	257	(1)
Recommended Reading	258	(1)
Bibliography	259	(2)
Resources	261	(4)
Authors' Website	261	(1)
For General Information and Statistics on Aging	261	(1)
To Locate and Research Nursing Homes	261	(1)
For Long-Term-Care Information and Advocacy	262	(1)
To Contact State Agencies	262	(1)
To Report a Case of Elder Abuse	263	(1)
For Caregivers	263	(1)
Online Support for All Issues Faced by Adult Children of Elderly Parents	263	(1)
To Learn Skills for Interpersonal Communication and Emotional Literacy	264	(1)
Index	265