Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Wives : A Ten-Session Program for Equipping Marriage Mentors

by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Authors of The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring

• ISBN13: 9780310271253
• ISBN10: 0310271258
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-05-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

Everything You Need to Launch a Marriage Mentoring Program A sleeping giant is waking up in the church today-YOU-and thousands of couples like you who are making a huge difference in countless marriages. You've spent years learning how to make your marriage work. Now, as marriage mentors, you're ready to help other couples grow stronger in their marriages while taking your own marriage to the next level Designed by two of today's foremost marriage experts, this groundbreaking resource will train and equip you to help others weather the storms and build successful marriages. You won't find a more thorough, reassuring, and carefully designed approach for marriage mentoring anywhere. This kit includes a ten-session Marriage Mentor Training and Recruiting DVD, Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Husbands, Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Wives, hardcover edition of The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring, and softcover edition of 51 Creative Ideas for Marriage Mentors. All items except DVD-ROM also sold separately.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Giant Awakens	9	(2)
SESSION ONE: THE PRELIMINARIES	11	(10)
Should We Do This Training in a Group or On Our Own?	11	(1)
How Marriage Mentors Learn Best	12	(2)
How to Get the Most from This Book and Accompanying DVD	14	(3)
Marriage Mentor Training in a Group Setting	17	(1)
Marriage Mentor Training as an Individual Couple	18	(3)
SESSION TWO: THE BIG PICTURE	21	(8)
Overview of the Marriage Mentor Triad	21	(5)
The Structure of a Typical Marriage Mentoring Ministry	26	(2)
An Optional Assignment: The Bible and Mentoring	28	(1)
SESSION THREE: MARRIAGE MENTORING AS A WOMAN	29	(6)
Woman to Woman: How Your Gender Impacts Your Mentoring	29	(2)
A Personal Message from Leslie	31	(1)
Speaking His Analytic Language	31	(3)
When It's Time to Mentor Woman to Woman	34	(1)
SESSION FOUR: ESSENTIAL SKILL TRAINING	35	(12)
Skill #1: Building Rapport	36	(4)
Skill #2: Walking in Another Couple's Shoes	40	(5)
An Optional Assignment: The Bible and Empathy	45	(2)
SESSION FIVE: ESSENTIAL SKILL TRAINING	47	(12)
Skill #3: Working as a Team	48	(5)
Skill #4: Agreeing on Outcomes	53	(6)
SESSION SIX: ESSENTIAL SKILL TRAINING	59	(10)
Skill #5: Asking Meaningful Questions	60	(4)
Skill #6: Listening Aggressively	64	(5)
SESSION SEVEN: ESSENTIAL SKILL TRAINING	69	(10)
Skill #7: Fielding Questions	70	(4)
Skill #8: Telling Your Stories	74	(5)
SESSION EIGHT: ESSENTIAL SKILL TRAINING	79	(10)
Skill #9: Praying Together	80	(5)
Skill #10: Staying Sharp	85	(4)
SESSION NINE: ESSENTIAL SKILL TRAINING	89	(6)
Skill #11: Being Yourself and Going with the Flow	90	(3)
Bonus Skill: Spotting Red Flags	93	(2)
SESSION TEN: THE NEXT STEPS	95
Choosing Your Personal Marriage Mentor Track	95	(2)
Developing Your Own Marriage Mentoring Style	97	(2)
Leading a Small Group as a Marriage Mentor	99	(1)
Recruiting Other Marriage Mentors	99	(1)
What You Will Find for Marriage Mentors at www.RealRelationships.com	100

Excerpts

Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Wives
Copyright © 2006 by The Foundation for Healthy Relationships
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
ISBN-10: 0-310-27125-8
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-27125-3
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International
Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by
permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These
websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan, nor
do we vouch for their content for the life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or
any other — except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the
publisher.
Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite 1000, Literary
Agent, Orange, CA.
Interior design by Beth Shagene
Printed in the United States of America
06 07 08 09 10 11 12 • 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Session One
The
Preliminaries
Should We Do This Training in a Group
or on Our Own?
Because we want to eliminate any hurdles that may exist in getting a marriage
mentoring ministry off the ground, we have designed our training program
to be flexible — so that it can be implemented in a small church of just a few
dozen to a megachurch with thousands, by individual couples
in the comfort
of their own home or in a group of any size. This session of the manual will
elaborate on how the training can be used best in either an individual couple
or group setting.
If you are doing the training as an individual couple,
proceed to the section
titled “How Marriage Mentors Learn Best” on the next page. If you are
doing the training in a group setting, we suggest that you spend a few minutes
introducing yourselves to the rest of the couples
and, depending on the time
available, answering at least one of the following questions:
• How did the two of you meet?
• How did you get engaged? Describe the proposal.
• Why are you interested in marriage mentoring?
How Marriage Mentors Learn Best
We have taught university courses for nearly two decades. And because our
university takes teaching seriously, we often are required to attend workshops
on “pedagogy” (pronounced ped-a-go-gee), a five-dollar word meaning “methods
of instruction.” As professors, we want to know how our students best
learn a particular subject, so we in turn can use techniques and tools to help
them internalize it and be able to use their new knowledge effectively.
We’ve given that same serious attention to exploring how you, as marriage
mentors, will absorb, retain, and practice the information you’ll be learning
in this program. We conducted research on mentors-in-training. We’ve done
pre- and post-tests to know what works and what doesn’t. We’ve even conducted
research with control groups to know if a particular piece of training
makes any difference.
We say all this to let you know that this program is designed with great
intention. And as you will soon see, it relies heavily on interaction. Sure, you
will read a bit of content, complete a few self-tests, and view some real-live
mentors on the training DVD. But much of your learning will take place
as you talk with each other — husband and wife. Indeed, you’ll learn more
from what you say to each other than you will from any lecture, workshop, or
seminar on this subject.
Why Do We Need Two Training Manuals?
You may be thinking, This is a couple’s
training program. Can’t we just share a
manual? It’s a fair question. But let us tell you why having two manuals — his
and hers — is essential for this training.
First, you will see that each manual has a session specific to that manual.
This is where we speak directly to husbands and directly to wives about what
they uniquely bring to the table of marriage mentoring. Each of us is hardwired
differently for this task, and to be effective we need to give serious
attention to our gender differences as marriage mentors — so that we might
use them to our advantage with our mentorees.
Second, even if these unique sections were not included, it’s important
to complete many of the exercises on your own — before you explore them
with your spouse. If you were to see your spouse’s answers to particular questions
before you answer the same questions yourself, it would influence your
response and drain energy and authenticity from your training sessions.
Allow us to illustrate our point by having you do a brief exercise right
now.
Note: Before beginning the exercise, become familiar with our simple system
of symbols for types of exercises throughout the manual:
q = An exercise to complete on your own
qq = An exercise to complete with your spouse,
typically a discussion of an on-your-own exercise
qqq = An exercise to complete couple
to couple
or in a larger group
Exploring Potential Fears of Marriage Mentoring (5 minutes) q Complete the following two sentence-stems as best as you can — without
consulting your husband to do so.
In beginning this training program on marriage mentoring, my
greatest fear is . . .
In beginning this training program on marriage mentoring, my
husband’s greatest fear is . . .
qq Once you both have taken a minute to complete these sentences,
compare notes. Are the answers your husband gave ones you would have
predicted? Do you now know something new about each other that you
didn’t know just five minutes ago?
You get the point. This workbook will have dozens of opportunities for
the two of you to talk with each other; and to make these conversations all
they can be, you’ll each need your own gender-specific training manual.
Of course, beyond two separate manuals from which to work, there are
other ways to ensure you get as much out of this training as possible. We offer
suggestions for doing just that in the next section.
George, age ninety-two, and Jane, age eighty-nine, are all excited about their
decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss wedding plans, they
happen to pass a drugstore and stop in. George asks to speak to the owner.
“We’re about to get married,” George informs him. “Do you sell heart
medication?”
“Of course we do,” the owner replies.
“How about support hose to help with poor circulation?”
“Definitely.”
“What about medicine for rheumatism, osteoporosis, and arthritis?”
George continues.
“All kinds,” says the owner with confidence.
“How about waterproof furniture covers and Depends?”
“Yessir.”
“

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Excerpted from Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Wives: A Ten-Session Program for Equipping Marriage Mentors by Leslie Parrott, Les Parrott III, Parrott
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.