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Some people believe in the romantic notion that somewhere out there is a very special person just for them. The One. Your soul mate. Someone who you'll recognise because you feel at your best with him, and you'll feel you were destined to be with them. We had varying opinions on this, but really it's up to you if you if you choose to believe in "The One" theory or not.
Nesta:Who says you only get One? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three . . . and so on.
Lucy:Don't put off seeing other boys or waste too much time waiting for The One in case he lives in Outer Mongolia and never travels. If you do meet him, you will know him at once and can take it from there.
Izzie:If it's meant to be, destiny will bring you together in this life as it has in past lives.
TJ:It's all chemical. The One is just a way of saying you fancy someone and your pheromones are mutually attractive.
How to Spot a Rat
Basically, he doesn't phone when he says he will. Is totally unreliable. He lies. He's late. He's vague about what he does when he's not with you. He doesn't listen to you or looks bored or amused when you're pouring out your heart. He cheats. He doesn't respect you.
Don't get involved.
Trouble is, sometimes even the smartest of girls doesn't realize that a boy is a rat until too late. This is because often a rat looks exactly the same as a nice guy. (Both TJ and I got fooled into falling for the same love rat once and he really seemed like a nice guy at first. It almost broke our friendship up until we realized that being mates was more important than being with a boy we couldn't trust.)
As with their body language, sometimes boys are hard to read. Hard to understand. Which brings me to our next section.
So you've got him to notice you. He's got your number. Then what?
The general rule is that if a boy is interested, you don't have to wonder if he'll call or not. He will. In his own time, but he will.
Of course there are exceptions:
1. He's shy.
2. He's lost your number.
3. He put your number in his jeans pocket and those jeans went in the wash.
4. He's lazy.
5. He might fear rejection.
It can be hard for boys to do the all the running and asking for a date can be scary. In which case, you could always askhim.But remember...
But say he does call. He asks you out on a date. Fantastic. What then?
Dating: First Dates
Do:
Be cool and not too over eager if asked out, but do show that you're pleased.
Right:
He: Let's get together some time.
You: (big smile) Sure. Sounds good.
He: How about next Friday?
Wrong:
You: Yes. Hold on, I'll get my diary. I'm free tonight or I could come over right now.
He: Um. I'll call you.
Don't:
Text copyright © 2005 by Cathy Hopkins
Things to Do on a Rainy Day(Or Sunny. Or Windy.)
(Or Sunny. Or Windy.)
We've all worked on this section and decided to start with a bit of redecorating! Your bedroom is your own personal chill-out space--somewhere where you can close the door on the rest of the world, so it's good to make it a place that you really want to spend time in (and where your mates do too at sleepovers).
Redesign Your Bedroom
Step One: Research
Before you start, go to the library to get books on interior design or invest in a couple of magazines that specialise in bedrooms to give you ideas that you hadn't thought about. Work out how much money you can afford to spend and who might be able to help you with the time and labour.
Step Two: Clear Out the Clutter
Take a big bin bag and get rid of old books, scraps of paper, old magazines and clothes that you haven't worn for ages. See if anything is worth donating to a charity shop or can be recycled.
Step Three: Start Designing
Decide what look are you going for, then choose your color scheme accordingly. Remember that light colors open a room up and give a feeling of space whereas dark colors can close it in and make it look smaller (but cosier). Most big DIY stores sell tiny sample pots now so that you can try colors out on your wall before your final choice. It's worth trying a few, as colors rarely look the same on the wall as they do on a color chart. Watch how the color changes at different times of day as the color you liked at noon may look totally different in the evening. Once you've decided, have confidence in your style choice. Some effects are:
Once you've decided on your colors, invite mates over for a painting party and it will be done in no time. Cover everything that might get paint splashed on it with old sheets or dust covers: i.e. the furniture, floor and yourselves!
Unless going for white all over, use a lighter shade of your wall color for the ceiling (or if you're going for something really bright and colorful, in which case, use contrasting colors). For doors, skirting boards and radiators, use a darker or lighter tone of the same color as the walls or a contrasting one.
If you want to use bold colors, but feel uncertain, the general rule is that opposite colors (red/green, blue/orange, yellow/purple) look great together and shades of the same color family look great together. Experiment on paper before hand to see how different color choices will look.
Step Four: Soft Furnishings
(e.g. curtains, blinds, bedspreads, cushions). It's always a good idea to get fabric samples before your final choice that way, you can see how the color looks in the room. Most fabric stores will give you a small strip from the end of a roll.
Don't mix too many contrasting patterns as they will all fight for space and give your room a confused look. When you add your pictures or posters, you want them to be the main focal point.
Here are some effects you might like to try:
Step Five: Lighting
Bedside and table lamps can make the room look soft and warm in the evening. Again, choose the color of your light shade to complement your color theme. Candles and nightlights can also be used to make the room look atmospheric in the evening (but be careful not to place them anywhere they can set fire to something!).
Step Six: Pictures and Posters
These are completely a matter of individual taste, but think about what you want to look at morning and night for the coming months or years. Pick the frames to complement your general look.
Step Seven: Personal Touches
Personal touches around the room will finish your look. Boxes to hold your jewellery, your favorite books, magazines, photos of friends. Save up for one fabulous piece--whether it be a jewelled mirror, some sort of nick-nack or a beaded cushion--and display it somewhere that will draw the eye.
Step Eight: Scent
Don't forget one of the most powerful senses, the sense of smell. Make your room smell wonderful with essential oils, room sprays or joss sticks.
Lucy's Room
I redecorated my room over a year ago when I realized that I had outgrown my girlie pink phase. I'd been into it in a big way and everything was P-I-N-K. I wanted something a bit more sophisticated so chucked out all my fluffy toys (except for my favorite teddy bear, Mr. Mackety--no way could I ever get rid of him. We've been through too much together). My room looks fab now. I spent ages trying out different colors and finally settled on lilac mist for the walls and a powdery, pale blue on the woodwork. Mum and I went down to Brick Lane in the East End of London and bought some gorgeous sky blue sari material with embroidered silver borders. We used it to make curtains and put a swathe of it over a curtain rail at the top of the window. That was the finishing touch and really brought the room together. The room looks soft and pretty now and I've started a craze for buying sari material for people's windows.
Izzie's Room
My bedroom has turquoise walls and I have deep-purple scatter cushions and curtains. I chose turquoise as it's supposed to be a healing color so I thought, what better choice for my personal space? I also like using scented candles so my room always smells lovely. At the moment, I have a mango one and it's divine. If I had my way, I'd like to build some sort of pyramid shape on the ceiling (like a pyramid shaped mosquito net!) as it's supposed to be a healing shape to lie to sit under, but Mum said no way, Jose. If I want to see the pyramids, she says I have to go to Egypt. Mum's an accountant and not big on creativity, which is why the rest of our house is cream, safe and immaculate.
Nesta's Room
Mum did my room. I trust her taste completely as she did a course in interior design and has a real flair for it. She chose a strong lavender for the walls and put pink muslin across the windows. My bed is like a princess's as it has the pink muslin draped from the ceiling down to the head. It looks romantic with all the muslin floating round it, but not too little girlie. I also have some red velvet heart-shaped cushions on the bed which look fab and are a good focal point for the eye. Plus, like Izzie, I like my room to smell gorgeous so I use exotic room sprays, like rose or lily.
TJ's Room
You have to be joking. My parents only know one paint color and that's magnolia. Boring and a half. My room looks really old-fashioned. It's even got patterned wallpaper--cream with pale green leaves on it. I hate it. Hopefully, next birthday they'll let me decorate and I'm going to go for all the Eastern colors. Deep orange, red and gold curtains and loads of exotic-colored scatter cushions so that it looks like a sultan's harem. Mum and Dad will probably have a heart attack.
Once you've got your bedroom sorted, here are a few fun things to do in there!
Find Your Pop Star and Your Romantic-Fiction Writer Name
For your pop star name, you take the name of your first female pet if you're a girl, male pet if you're a boy, then your mother's maiden name:
Izzie's:Zizi Malone
Lucy's:Smokey Kinsler
Nesta's:Sooty Costello
TJ's:Bubbles Bailey
For your romantic-fiction writer name, you take your middle name and the name of the street where you first lived.
Izzie's:Joanna Redington
Lucy's:Charlotte Leister
Nesta's:Suzanne Lindann
TJ's:Joanne Laurier
Quiz: Find Out What You're Really About!
1. Write down your three favorite animals in order of preference. Say why you've chosen them, e.g. cats because they're independent, penguins because they're funny, owls because they're wise.
First choicereveals how you see yourself.
Second choicereveals how others see you.
Third choicereveals how you really are.
It's the adjectives chosen to say why the animal has been picked that are more revealing than the animal.
2. Make up your own book titles and authors. Here are TJ's favorites, for a start:
Pusscat's Revengeby Claude Bottom
Poo On the Wallby Hoo Flung Dung
The Revelation of St. Johnby Armageddon Ottahere
Bubbles In the Bathby Ivor Windybottom
Excerpted from The Mates, Dates Guide to Life, Love, and Looking Luscious by Cathy Hopkins All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.