Men's Health Real Life Survival Guide

by Keller, Larry; Millman, Christian; Men's Health Books

• ISBN13: 9781579545000
• ISBN10: 1579545009
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-09-01
• Publisher: Rodale Pr

Summary

Every Man Wants to Make Good when the boss calls upon him to give a speech. Every man hopes to make his lover gush about him to her friends. And every man wants other men to say, "Hey, he's a good guy." The Men's Health Real-Life Survival Guide will give you the training to make those moments happen.

Table of Contents

Introduction	vii
PART ONE Real Responsibilities
Get Ahead without Being a Suck-Up	2	(4)
Give a Great Speech	6	(4)
Run a Meeting	10	(4)
Get a Leave of Absence	14	(4)
Fire Somebody	18	(4)
Cope with Being Fired	22	(4)
Fix a Leaky Faucet	26	(4)
Unstop a Toilet	30	(2)
Unclog a Drain	32	(2)
Clean a Carpet Stain	34	(2)
Reset a Pilot Light	36	(2)
Change a Tire	38	(2)
Change the Oil	40	(4)
Find Your Way	44	(4)
Sharpen a Knife	48	(2)
Clean a Fish	50	(4)
Build and Maintain a Fire	54	(4)
Barbecue like a Pro	58	(6)
Get Rid of Pests	64	(8)
Handle Pushy Salesmen	72	(2)
Survive an IRS Audit	74	(2)
Be Your Own Lawyer	76	(4)
Talk Your Way Out of a Traffic Ticket	80	(4)
PART TWO Real Relationships
Get Back in the Game	84	(4)
Flirt with Flair	88	(4)
Compliment a Woman	92	(4)
Drive a Woman Wild When You're Not in Bed	96	(4)
Cook a Romantic Meal	100	(4)
Drive a Woman Wild with Words	104	(4)
Give a Massage	108	(6)
Unhook a Bra with One Hand	114	(2)
Propose Marriage	116	(2)
Pick a Barber	118	(2)
Make Small Talk	120	(4)
Tip in Every Situation	124	(4)
Stand Up to a Bully	128	(4)
Throw a Punch	132	(4)
Apologize	136	(2)
Answer a Child's Questions	138	(4)
Sound Smarter Than You Are	142	(4)
Deliver a Eulogy	146	(4)
PART THREE Real Recreation
Host the Ultimate Super Bowl Bash	150	(4)
Choose the Right Beer	154	(6)
Mix Drinks like a Bartender	160	(6)
Host a Dinner Party	166	(4)
Select and Open a Bottle of Wine	170	(4)
Make a Memorable Toast	174	(4)
Beat a Hangover	178	(2)
Lose 10 Pounds	180	(2)
Win at Arm Wrestling	182	(2)
Throw a Perfect Spiral	184	(4)
Pitch like a Big Leaguer	188	(4)
Shoot a Free Throw	192	(2)
Bowl a Strike	194	(2)
Break at Pool	196	(2)
Throw Darts	198	(2)
Get on the Air on Talk Radio	200	(4)
Win at Monopoly	204	(2)
Win at Poker	206	(4)
Win at Carnival Games	210	(4)
Become a Swimsuit Photographer	214

Excerpts

Chapter One

Get Ahead without Being a Suck-Up

Most of us have observed with chagrin the meteoric rise of a colleague who's a sycophant--a bootlicking, obsequious lackey whose toadyism seemingly has netted him a promotion or a pay hike that somebody else deserved more. Somebody like us.

    Must a man shed all vestiges of self-respect to advance in the working world? No, say workplace consultants. Here's how to get ahead and still be able to look yourself in the mirror.

    Be a company man. "The best way to influence your boss is to use his self-interest and not yours," says Alan Weiss, Ph.D., president of Summit Consulting Group in East Greenwich, Rhode Island. "In other words, focus on your contribution to the company, not on what you're doing. It's one thing to say, 'I show up every day on time.' But to say, 'Our sales increased 2 percent last month because of the new procedure I introduced'--that's different."

    Keep calm. Discuss your request in the same calm tone of voice you would use to discuss a strategy for an upcoming sales conference, Dr. Weiss advises. "It should never be with your hat in your hand, nor should it be demanding. It should be colleague to colleague, a credible discussion of the merits of the case."

    Time it right. Most people wait until their annual job evaluations to tout their accomplishments to their bosses, Dr. Weiss says. By then, those achievements may be a blur in your boss's memory. Instead, send your boss a memo detailing your achievement soon after each major accomplishment, he suggests.

    Increase your load. Take on an extra project or two and the responsibilities that come with it, advises Robert Vecchiotti, Ph.D., president of Organizational Consulting Services of St. Louis. A person is likely to be given a salary bump only became he is given additional responsibilities, he says.

    Take the initiative. Look for tough issues to solve before they are evident to others, says Dr. Vecchiotti. "If you're prepared with a good analysis of the situation and a couple of options, you'll attract attention. That's what really distinguishes people who are going to move quickly and get raises as a consequence."

    Become indispensable. If you have knowledge, skills, or abilities that others in your company don't possess, you increase your bargaining power, says Michael Mercer, Ph.D., an industrial psychologist with the Mercer Group in Barrington, Illinois, and author of How Winners Do It: High Impact Skills for Your Career Success . "The more replaceable you are, the less leverage you have."

    Be vague. If you're seeking a pay raise, don't specify how much, Dr. Weiss advises. "You might ask for 8 percent, but it could be they were prepared to give you 20 percent," he says. "Nobody ever negotiates upward."

Career Killers

Just as there are things you can do to increase your chances of winning a raise or promotion, there are surefire steps to sabotage your career. Here's how to avoid three of the most common mistakes.

    Stay out of politics. If you have the political instincts of a 10-term congressman, feel free to delve into the backbiting world of office politics. If not, stay on the sidelines. "If you play on somebody else's ball field with his equipment and his rules, you lose," Dr. Weiss says. "Stay above the fray. Never try to elevate yourself by degrading someone else."

    It may seem that being a political animal is essential to advancing your career, but you can turn your indifference to your advantage, Dr. Weiss says. "Point out that you consistently avoided gossip and water-cooler stuff and only focused on the results that were needed," he says. "And that you pride yourself on that kind of professionalism."

    Don't be a toady. Some people recommend that you emulate the boss--right down to wearing the same tasseled loafers and mimicking his speech patterns. The theory is that if you're like him, he will be more apt to feel comfortable with you and reward you. "Total garbage," Dr. Weiss says. "It's manipulative. It's dishonest and it's often transparent. You should dress professionally, but you have to be who you are. Nobody likes having toadies around."

    Keep it strictly professional. Don't plead for a raise because others in your office got one. Nor should you cite the fact that you have a mortgage to pay and a family to feed, Dr. Weiss cautions. Others are in the same situation, and it's irrelevant, he says. "It should always be based on evidence."

If You Fail

Okay, you gave it your best shot, and the boss said no. After you finish sticking pins in the voodoo doll with his picture on it, consider these moves.

    Be persistent. If the boss doesn't commit one way or another to your request, ask him what would be an appropriate follow-up to your discussion or what you should do next, says Dr. Weiss. Don't just let him get away with a brush-off comment such as "Thanks, I'll get back to you."

    Get a reason. If your request for a raise or a promotion is rejected, ask why. There could be a good reason, says Dr. Weiss. "If so, going to another job isn't going to help, because whatever it was that held you back would hold you back there."

    Ask for perks. Even if your bid for more pay or a promotion is turned down, you can come out ahead, says Dr. Mercer. See if you can negotiate some job perks--the company paying your expenses to a convention or two, more vacation days, use of a company car or a car allowance, or use of a mobile phone, for example.

Excerpted from Men'sHealth Real Life Survival Guide by Larry Keller and Christian Millman. Copyright © 2001 by Rodale Inc.. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.